Painful Memories
by Keara
Summary: (Completed) Duo is hiding something from the rest of the guys. Will this secret tear him up inside and will he be able to tell Heero how he feels about him? Shounen-ai 2+1, 3+4 fic. Warnings: Rape, angst, Duo and Quatre suffering and torture.
1. Part One

Disclaimers: I don't own anything.  
  
Author's notes: This is a Duo/Heero fic. If you don't like it then I suggest you stop reading this now. This is an alternate universe fic, where all the pilots live together in a military compound or something. I've read other fics where they've had this sort of living arrangement, and I thought I could use it. If it bothers anyone, I apologize.   
  
Sorry about the title, but I couldn't think of anything better.  
  
WARNING!!! I make Duo suffer in this fic. Hope all you Duo lovers won't hate me for this.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 1  
  
  
  
Prologue  
  
  
Eyes, cold, soulless eyes, stared at him. No, not at him, but through him, as though he wasn't even there. It was cold, the air bringing a chill to his skin. He couldn't stop shivering, as the fear enveloped every bit of him, like a blanket.  
  
Then the hands were on him again, cold, rough hands. They stripped away his clothes along with his dignity. They held him down, never releasing their unbreakable grips on his body. No matter how much he struggled, he couldn't break free, couldn't get away.  
  
The voices laughed as the hands held him tight. Their words cut through him like a knife. "Just submit and it won't hurt." They repeated.  
  
But he wouldn't submit. He would never give in. Then the pain began. His body just stopped functioning as all he felt was the pain.  
  
Duo woke up, his body covered in sweat. "That was one hell of a dream." He muttered to himself, as he lifted his shaking hands to his face. But he knew that it was no dream. It was reality, it was his past. A past that he never wanted the others to know about.   
  
How could he tell them, how would they react if they knew what he had done, what had been done to him? He couldn't tell, wouldn't tell. No one would ever know, and he could continue with his life, not having to worry about how the others saw him.  
  
Duo sat up, tossing the sweat dampened sheets away from him as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. As he stood, he glanced to the other side of the room. Even in the dark, he could see Heero, sleeping in his own bed. He sighed, thankful that he hadn't woken the other pilot. The two of them shared a room in the small base that all the pilots lived in. Although Duo wished he and Heero shared a whole lot more, like a bed.   
  
He pushed those feelings down, knowing that Heero wouldn't want to get that close to him. Heero was straight as an arrow, not interested in dating guys. Besides, Heero was in love with Relena, everyone knew that.   
  
A pang of jealousy hit Duo every time he saw Relena hanging on Heero's arm, staring into those captivating Prussian blue eyes of his. But, Duo's feelings didn't matter as long as Heero was happy. And what made Heero happy, was Relena.  
  
Still, he couldn't help but wish that Heero actually saw him as more than a friend. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he meant that much to Heero. He couldn't be too sure about how Heero felt about anyone, since the other pilot hid his emotions so well. For all he knew, Heero hated him.  
  
Duo shook his head, pulling his mind away from his thoughts of Heero. He crossed the room, and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, quietly.  
  
He closed his eyes as he flicked the light on, knowing that the sudden brightness would sting. As he opened his eyes again, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror.  
  
His usual mask of cheerfulness was gone, and Duo could see the real him staring back. His smile was gone, replaced by the grim expression of a man that hated what he had become, what he had been though. His cobalt blue eyes reflected the intense pain that he always kept hidden behind the illusion that everyone saw as Duo Maxwell.  
  
No one would know, no one would ever see this stranger that stared back at him from the mirror. He knew they would never understand, never be able to comprehend the pain or the emotional strain that his memories caused him. Duo had to pretend he was fine, had to hide the truth from them. But in reality he wanted everything to end, all the pain, all the memories. Several times a day he considered what it would be like to just slit open his wrists and watch the blood flow from his veins. He always stopped himself from trying it, but the thoughts always remained.  
  
He turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on his face, wishing he could wash away the memories so easily. Then he turned the water off. As he stood up straight, he glanced at his reflection again.   
  
"Why aren't you dead yet?" He whispered, glaring at his mirror image.   
  
Of course, he didn't expect an answer. It was just a simple question he asked himself almost every day, wondering why he hadn't been killed in battle or why he hadn't taken his own life long ago. The answer came to him quickly, Heero. Heero was the only reason he hadn't killed himself long ago. He couldn't leave Heero, didn't want to cause him any pain by taking his own life. He wouldn't be able to stand it if Heero suffered because of his death. What if he blamed himself for it, thinking that maybe he could have prevented it somehow?  
  
Duo left the bathroom, shutting the light off as he passed by the switch. He climbed back into bed, not bothering to pull the sheets over him again. He sighed as he lay back, wondering if he would be able to get any sleep.  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Duo sat at a table in the lunchroom, alone. He was staring at the coffee in his mug, as he twirled the cup around on the table. He was lost in thought, his mind occupied by the memories that plagued his every waking moment.  
  
He wished he could forget, wished all that pain would go away. But no matter how much he wished about it, it never happened. The memories were always there, the dreams, the sudden flashes that intruded on him at just the wrong moments. He never knew what would set off one of his memories. A scent, a phrase. Anything could cause a memory to emerge from his mind.  
  
"Hey Duo, you okay?" Quatre asked, as he sat across from him.  
  
Duo looked up, placing his cheerful mask back in place. He smiled. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"You just looked distracted. Were you thinking of something?" The blonde asked, taking a sip of his own drink between sentences.  
  
"Nothing." Duo replied, casually. He couldn't tell Quatre, wouldn't burden him with the knowledge of Duo's past. Duo knew Quatre would only see him as a disgusting freak if he told the young blonde. Everyone would see him that way if they knew. There was no way he could let anyone know the secret he kept hidden.  
  
But Quatre obviously didn't believe him. "Oh come on. I can see that something is troubling you. Maybe if you tell me, I'll be able to help in some way."  
  
Duo didn't mean to, but he snapped. "Just leave me alone." He regretted his tone even before he had finished speaking. There really had been no reason to yell like that. Quatre was only trying to help.  
  
Quatre flinched and looked away. "Sorry Duo. I just thought I could help."  
  
Duo stood, leaving his coffee on the table. He closed his eyes for a moment, wishing he could take the words back. He turned his back to the table, to Quatre. As he walked away, he mumbled, "No one can help me."  
  
  
********************  
  
  
Quatre watched as Duo left, wondering what was troubling his friend. He had heard Duo's last statement, and was confused as he thought about what could possibly be so bad in Duo's life that no one could help him.  
  
He wanted to go up to Duo, to just demand that he answer his questions. But he knew he couldn't force him. He also knew that Duo wasn't the type to answer unless he wanted to. Even though he seemed cheerful and carefree, Duo could be a very powerful and cunning soldier. If he didn't want to talk, he wouldn't.  
  
A hand grasped his shoulder, firmly, but Quatre didn't have to look up to see who it was. He knew it was Trowa. "Duo's in pain." Quatre said.  
  
"Did he tell you what was wrong?" Trowa asked, still behind him.  
  
"No. But I can just tell that something is wrong." Quatre answered, looking over his shoulder to see Trowa's sparkling green eyes staring down at him.  
  
"Give him time. Maybe he just needs some time alone."  
  
"I guess you're right. None of us have really known each other for very long." Quatre replied.  
  
"That's right. It takes time to trust people. There are things in each of our pasts that haunt us." Trowa said, smiling slightly.  
  
Quatre smiled back, although he was still concerned about Duo. What could cause Duo so much pain?   
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Duo was lying on his bed, just staring up at the ceiling, his arms laying by his sides. He was dressed in his usual black clothes and minister's collar. He wanted the memories to stop, wanted the pain to end.  
  
He clenched his teeth, shutting his eyes as tightly as he could. But none of that mattered, nothing could stop the memories, ease the pain he felt.  
  
Trowa knocked on the door and walked into the room. "Hey, come on." He said. Heero was behind him.  
  
Duo sat up, opening his eyes as he moved. "What's up?" He asked, his mask of happiness back in place.  
  
"We have a mission." Heero said, not even looking in Duo's general direction.  
  
Duo wished the other pilot would show the least amount of interest in him, even if Heero's heart belonged to someone else. He wasn't asking for much, just a glance or something. Anything to tell Duo that Heero didn't hate him, that he didn't think Duo was the lowest form of scum on the earth.  
  
"What is it?" Duo asked, standing and walking over to the door.  
  
"We'll tell you on the way." Heero answered, as he turned and walked away. Trowa silently followed him.   
  
Duo sighed and followed Heero and Trowa to the hangar, where the Gundams were kept. As they walked, Duo kept thinking and thinking. He knew that one of these missions might be his last and he wanted Heero to know how he felt. He didn't want to die without telling him of his true feelings.  
  
He climbed into the cockpit of his Gundam, hoping that they would both come back from this mission alive. If they did, he was going to tell Heero, he was going to let him know. Even if Heero didn't love him, he had to tell him, had to find out if the other pilot cared about him in the slightest way.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
Hope you liked it. Please Review.  



	2. Part Two

Disclaimers: I don't own anything.  
  
Author's notes: Here's part two. This takes place immediately after the events in Part One. WARNING!!! Duo suffers a lot in this fic. If I've upset any of you, I apologize. Please don't flame me.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 2  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
They were sent to destroy a military base that had recently become a threat. Unfortunately, the reports about the number of mobile suits and mobile dolls had been drastically underestimated.  
  
Trowa's Heavyarms had run out of ammunition ages ago, and he was now just relying on the heat blade on his Gundam's right forearm. Heero was slicing away at the enemy mobile suits in his Wing Gundam with his beam sabers, making it look so easy. And Duo was just trying to keep himself alive with his beam scythe, as the enemy just kept coming and coming.   
  
"Would you just detonate already?!" Duo yelled at Heero, as he dodged an attack that had come way too close for comfort.   
  
"Yeah, yeah." Heero replied over the communication system.  
  
A moment later, the surrounding area was engulfed in flames, as all the explosives they had planted in the base earlier, were detonated. Many of the mobile suits and dolls were destroyed in the explosion but not all of them. The ones that remained continued to fight, even though the base was totally destroyed. Duo had to admit that these guys were dedicated to their jobs.  
  
"Let's get out of here." Trowa said, his voice calm.  
  
"Split up. We'll meet back at the safe house." Heero replied.   
  
Heero took off, leaving as quickly as he could. Several mobile suits followed him. Meanwhile, Trowa and Duo were attempting a similar escape.  
  
Trowa cut a path through the mobile suits and dolls. Duo watched his back, making sure no one tried to stop him. Something collided with his back and The Deathscythe fell forward. Intense pain radiated throughout his lower chest as Duo hit the console in front of him. He groaned in pain, not letting himself cry out. As he got his Gundam to stand again, he lifted his hand to his forehead, and felt the warm red blood that was seeping from a fresh wound.  
  
"You okay?" Trowa asked, although he really didn't sound all that concerned.  
  
"Fine." He lied, knowing that he had probably broken a couple ribs.  
  
"We need a diversion or something." Trowa commented.  
  
"Got it." Duo replied. He pulled a detonator from his pocket and quickly pressed the small red button.   
  
A series of explosions shook the ground, as everything behind the two Gundams was swallowed by flames. Duo and Trowa quickly disposed of the remaining few mobile suits and dolls.   
  
As they escaped into the forest, Trowa asked, "When did you set those explosives?"  
  
"While you and Heero were off planting the ones in the base, I was out here planting a few of my own. Just in case." Duo replied, a smile spreading across his face, despite all the pain he felt.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
They hid their Gundams in the forest, covering them as best as they could, so that they wouldn't be seen from the air. Every move Duo made, only aggravated his already sore body. He had kept his back to Trowa the whole time, not wanting the other pilot to know he was hurt.  
  
"The Gundams will be fine here for now. We can always come back for them later." Trowa said.  
  
"Yeah, Heero's probably already at the safe house waiting for us." Duo replied.  
  
"Then lets get going."  
  
"Right behind ya." Duo said, still trying to keep his injuries a secret. He didn't want to slow them down, didn't want to be pitied.  
  
An hour later, Duo's body was shaking from the pain. It was agonizing trying to keep up with Trowa's fast pace. He had been lucky so far, keeping the other pilot from seeing that he was injured. Whenever Trowa turned to him, he looked away so that Trowa wouldn't be able to see the gash in his head or the blood that covered the side of his face.  
  
The pain in his chest was throbbing with every step he took. His head was swimming with dizziness. It was getting harder and harder to walk, as he felt so tired.   
  
Finally, he just collapsed, no longer caring whether Trowa saw or not. He just couldn't take another step. He fell to his side, wrapping his arms around himself as his ribs screamed with pain.  
  
"Duo?" Trowa said as he knelt beside him.   
  
But Duo didn't answer, couldn't answer. The pain was horrible, making it difficult to even breathe. Then everything slipped away as he lost consciousness.  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Trowa knelt next to Duo, wondering why he hadn't noticed this earlier. The other pilot was hurt, badly by the look of it. He watched as Duo slipped into unconsciousness, not able to do anything to keep him awake.  
  
Carefully, Trowa rolled Duo over onto his back. The head wound didn't look too bad, since it had stopped bleeding. He unzipped Duo's jumpsuit, checking to see where the pilot was hurt. He gently pressed on his chest and abdomen, looking for internal injuries, eliciting a groan from the unconscious Duo with every touch to the pilot's body. He was relieved to find that Duo's ribs weren't broken, just bruised.  
  
Trowa zipped up Duo's jumpsuit and lifted the unconscious pilot off the ground. He would have slung Duo over his shoulder, but he didn't want to risk breaking his ribs. Duo groaned, but Trowa ignored it, knowing he had to get Duo some medical attention. And the only place he could find help, would be at the safe house.  
  
It didn't take long to get there, even with the extra burden of carrying Duo. As soon as he walked in the door, Trowa noticed that the place was empty. It didn't look as if Heero had gotten there yet.  
  
He took Duo up to one of the bedrooms of the cabin and gently laid him down on a bed. Then he treated Duo's injuries. After bandaging his head and chest, Trowa sat back, hoping that Duo would wake up soon. Eventually, Trowa nodded off, exhausted from the activities of that day.  
  
He hadn't slept long, or at least he didn't think he had, when a sound caught his attention. He looked to Duo and noticed the other pilot's pained expression, the way he clutched tightly at the bed sheets. Duo was gasping for breath, his head thrashing from side to side.  
  
"He must be having a nightmare." Trowa commented, leaning forward in his seat beside Duo's bed.  
  
Trowa listened intently, as Duo mumbled in his sleep, talking to whoever plagued his dreams. "Go away. Don't touch me. Leave me alone." The rest of his words became incoherent soon after.  
  
Trowa knew the pain of memories, knew that Duo was tormented by his past. His own past was something that pained him, but at least Trowa had Quatre to talk to, someone to confide in. Trowa only hoped that Duo would someday find someone like he had, someone he could open up to.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Heero had been able to dispose of the mobile suits that had chased him, without any trouble. Now, he walked away from his Gundam, leaving it behind in the dense forest. It was covered, so at least he knew it wouldn't be seen from the air. And if someone happened upon it on foot, then the alarm would go off in his wristwatch, telling him that there was someone too close to it. Of course, the alarm could be turned off if he wanted to, in case he was in a situation where he didn't want to attract any attention. It was a new device, something that had just been installed recently in all the Gundams.  
  
Heero walked through the forest, heading to the safe house. He wished he could have landed closer, but that would have been too much of a risk. But he didn't mind the walk. It gave him time to think.  
  
He wondered what was bothering Duo. It was plainly obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes, that something was definitely wrong with him. Heero had awakened several times over the past few weeks, in the middle of the night, hearing strange sounds. Each time, when he glanced over to his roommate's bed, he saw the other pilot tossing and turning in his sleep. Then Duo would wake up, covered in sweat, his body shaking.  
  
Of course, Heero didn't want the other pilot to know that he was awake and watching him, so he pretended to be asleep, all the time watching what Duo did. Every night, after waking up from one of his nightmares, Duo would go into the bathroom, whisper something that Heero couldn't quite hear, turn the water on and off, then come back out. Duo would once again lay down on his bed and usually he would just lie there, not going to sleep, just staring up at the ceiling.   
  
This behavior was beginning to worry Heero. Heero wasn't blind, he saw the way Duo acted. He wasn't his usual cheerful self. The mood swings, the way he snapped at people that asked if he was okay, it was all very odd behavior for Duo.  
  
But Heero didn't think it was his place to ask Duo if he was okay. Even through it irritated him to see Duo acting so strange. He wanted to grab Duo, to pull him aside and demand to know what was wrong with him. However, he knew that trying to force an answer out of Duo wouldn't work. He knew from experience that Duo was a very stubborn person.  
  
"Damn him." Heero muttered. His own feelings about Duo clouded his judgement at times. How was he supposed to go on like this, if he knew Duo was in pain? He wished Duo would just tell him, or anyone.   
  
These feelings, were all so strange for Heero. He had spent most of his life pushing his feelings away, seeing them as a nuisance to him. They only got in the way of his missions, an unneeded distraction.   
  
But the way he felt for Duo was so strong, seemed so right. If only he could express those feelings in words. But no matter how much he wanted to, how much he felt like grabbing Duo and embracing him in a passionate kiss, he couldn't bring himself to do it.   
  
If he was wrong about his feelings, wrong about the way Duo felt about him, there was no way he could take the words back. So he was just biding his time, letting Relena hang off his arm, wishing that Duo would make the first move. The only reason he let Relena hang around was so that he could watch Duo's reaction, see if he was right about his feelings. If Duo felt anything for him, he should be able to see by the way he reacted to Relena.  
  
So far, it was working. Every time Relena held Heero's hand, wrapped her arms around him, Duo's eyes would burn with emotion. Heero could see the jealousy, the longing look in Duo's eyes every time he looked at Relena and Heero together.  
  
But still, Heero couldn't tell him how he felt. He was still so unsure of his own feelings, of Duo's feelings. If he said anything, he might be making a huge mistake. Those looks of jealousy might be because Duo wanted Relena not Heero, or that he wanted what Heero had, somebody that loved him without question. Of course, saying that Relena loved Heero without question, was wrong. What Relena felt for him was just some mindless crush, even Heero could see that.  
  
So he'd wait. Wait for Duo to make the first move. If he wanted Heero, he'd just have to tell him. Heero wouldn't risk his newfound emotions in an attempt to see if Duo loved him. It was just too soon to risk that.  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
  
Duo opened his eyes, trying to focus them, as he looked around at his surroundings. He noticed that he was in a cabin of some sort, and was laying on a bed. He looked down at himself and saw that his abdomen was covered in bandages. He attempted to sit up, but he fell back down when the pain moved throughout his body. He groaned, unintentionally, and winced.  
  
"You shouldn't try getting up for a while yet." Trowa said, sitting in a chair beside the bed that Duo lay in.  
  
"Where are we?" He asked.  
  
"The safe house. Why didn't you tell me that you were hurt?" Trowa asked, adjusting the bandages around Duo's body.  
  
"It's not that bad." Duo said, trying to keep his mask of cheerfulness in place.  
  
"Yeah, right. So you just collapsed for no good reason then?" He asked, his voice remaining calm.  
  
Duo glared at him, not bothering to reply. He attempted to sit up again, this time he succeeded. Of course it was painful, but he just didn't want to lie around anymore. "Where are my clothes?" He asked.  
  
Trowa stood and walked away. When he came back, he carried Duo's jumpsuit in his hands. "Here." He replied, tossing them to Duo. "But I still say that you shouldn't get up just yet. Obviously, you won't listen to me, so I'll go fix something for you to eat."  
  
Duo ignored him. He didn't like laying around doing nothing. It left him with nothing to do but think. And why would he want to think when all he ever thought of was painful to him?  
  
He watched as Trowa left. Then he got dressed as quickly as he could. His ribs ached with every move, but at least the pain wasn't as bad as it had first been.  
  
  
Chapter Six  
  
  
He walked down the stairs slowly, holding onto the railing as he stepped down. He found Trowa in the kitchen, setting a plate of food on the table. He glanced up, then went back to what he had been doing before.   
  
"Sit. Eat." He said.  
  
Duo didn't argue. Besides, he was hungry. "Thanks." He replied, sitting in front of the plate of food.  
  
Trowa sat across from him. But it didn't look as if he was eating. Duo wondered about it, but was too busy eating to ask.  
  
After breakfast, Trowa helped Duo back up the stairs, insisting that he get more rest. Duo objected at first, but soon gave in, after Trowa pulled him out of the seat.   
  
He sat on the bed, not ready to lie down just yet. He didn't want to rest, didn't want to sleep. He knew what would happen if he slept. Sleeping meant dreaming, and his dreams were never pleasant. The nightmares would come, the endless nightmares of his own past.  
  
"Duo?" Trowa asked.  
  
Duo raised his head, and looked at the other pilot. "What?"  
  
"I want to ask you something."  
  
"What about?" Duo asked, keeping a cheerful smile on his face.  
  
Trowa hesitated a moment, and that worried Duo. "When you were unconscious, you were talking in your sleep. What were you dreaming about?" Trowa asked, sitting in the chair beside the bed.  
  
Duo's smile immediately vanished. "It was nothing. Just a stupid nightmare." Duo answered.  
  
"I don't believe that. I can recognize torment when I see it. I know from experience that memories are not always a pleasant thing." Trowa replied, lifting his gaze to Duo.  
  
"You wouldn't understand." Duo said, turning his head away. He didn't want to talk about this. They would hate him, they would think he was disgusting if they knew.  
  
"I bet I would. You can't just let these things fester, Duo. That's why I talk with Quatre. You have to talk about them or nothing will ever get better." Trowa replied.  
  
"I can't." Duo said, forcing his tears away. He wouldn't cry. He never cried. This wasn't the time to start.  
  
Trowa laid a hand on Duo's shoulder. "Maybe it will help if I told you my secrets. But if I tell you mine, you have to promise to tell me yours."  
  
Duo thought for a moment, then nodded, unable to say anything. Maybe he could tell Trowa. Maybe he could finally get rid of some of the pain. He listened intently to every word Trowa said.  
  
"I was raised by an all male mercenary group. They didn't even bother to give me a name. My first memory is of being beaten, but I do not recall why. Almost every day was the same. I was beaten, and abused in such ways that it still makes me cringe." Trowa said, lowering his eyes to the floor.  
  
But he kept speaking. "I was molested many times by the other mercenaries as I grew older, repeatedly raped. If I did not submit I would be beaten until I was unconscious, and then they would have their fun with me anyway. If I tried to fight back, it was only worse. I was not always fed, and I do not remember ever being treated with kindness by any of those men."  
  
A single tear escaped Trowa's eye, as Duo watched the young man in utter disbelief. He had no idea of what Trowa had gone through as a child. Trowa looked up at him. "Your turn." He said.  
  
Duo took in a breath, wondering if he should say anything at all. But he knew he had to. He had promised to tell, if Trowa told him his secrets. "I was a war orphan." Duo began, recounting his days with Solo and the street orphans, the time he had spent at the Maxwell church.  
  
"Then Duo Maxwell isn't your real name?" Trowa asked.  
  
"No. To tell the truth, I can't even remember my real name anymore." Duo smiled, slightly.  
  
"What happened after the massacre? I'm sure that's not the end of the story." Trowa said.  
  
Duo stared down at the floor, unable to raise his eyes to meet Trowa's. "I had to steal to survive. I lived on the streets, hustling everyone I could, to make a few bucks. Less than a year after the church was destroyed, a man named Carl Thompson came up to me and asked if he could help in any way. He offered me the use of his shower, a meal. I didn't trust him, but I went with him anyway, thinking that maybe I could steal something from him, that would make my life a little easier."  
  
He took in a deep breath, remembering what came next. His breath came out shuddered as he began to speak again. "I found out all too soon that Carl wasn't the nice man he seemed to be. Once he locked the door behind me, he told me that he had clients that would be interested in a boy as pretty as me." Duo's body trembled as the memories resurfaced.  
  
"You don't have to go on if you don't want to." Trowa said, placing a hand on Duo's shoulder.  
  
Duo couldn't look up at him, couldn't bring himself to raise his head. He just kept talking, ignoring Trowa's kind offer to let him stop. But he knew he had to continue, he had to let it all out now, or else he wouldn't be able to do it later. "The beatings started almost immediately. I was just a kid, I couldn't fight back. After awhile I just stopped caring what anyone did to me. I gave up, letting all those men and women do what they wanted to my body, if only to survive one more day. I just wanted to live."  
  
He took in a shaky breath and exhaled, letting the words fall from his lips. "Then one day I saw a chance for escape and took it. I stowed away on the ship that carried Professor G. I became a Gundam pilot, the God of Death. I vowed to myself that no one else would ever get close enough to hurt me agin, that no one else would ever touch me without my permission."  
  
Throughout his story he had kept his tears back, not wanting to cry. He couldn't cry. He never cried, not even through all those years when he was being used as nothing more than a toy by all those men and women. Duo looked up at Trowa finally, expecting to see a look of total disgust on the other pilot's face. But he didn't see disgust, in fact he didn't see anything resembling disgust. All he saw was a deep look of sadness, of sympathy.  
  
"Good lord, Duo. And I thought my childhood was bad." Trowa smiled, in an obvious attempt to lighten the situation. Then his expression grew serious. "Do you feel any better?" He asked.  
  
"I guess. Maybe a little." Duo whispered. He did feel better, if only slightly. Trowa had been right, talking had made the pain lessen.  
  
"Why don't you get some sleep?" Trowa asked, gently pushing Duo until he lay back on the bed.  
  
"Promise you won't tell anyone." Duo demanded, his eyes locked on Trowa's one eye, the other eye being blocked from his view by the pilot's bangs.  
  
"You have my word." Trowa replied, as he stood. He took a few steps away then turned back. "I'll wake you when Heero gets here. Then we can get back to base and we can get you to a doctor."  
  
Duo glared at him, not wanting a doctor to come anywhere near him. He had always hated doctors, always hated the way they poked and prodded. He was fine. His ribs didn't hurt that much anymore. It was just a slight ache whenever he breathed, that's all.  
  
He closed his eyes, hoping that the dreams wouldn't come. He wanted a peaceful sleep, something he hadn't had in a very long time. Maybe now that he had finally told someone, he would be able to rest peacefully.   
  
His thoughts drifted to Heero. Once they were back at the base, Duo would tell Heero of his feelings, of the love he felt for the Perfect Soldier. Hopefully, he wasn't making a huge mistake.  
  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
  
Heero walked into the safe house, wondering if Duo and Trowa had arrived yet. He didn't have to wonder for very long however, as he saw Trowa walk down the stairs.  
  
"How long have you been here?" Heero asked, in his usual monotone voice.  
  
"A few hours." Trowa replied, as he stepped over to Heero.  
  
"And has Duo arrived yet?"  
  
"He's upstairs in one of the bedrooms. He was injured during our escape."  
  
Heero's heart skipped a beat, hearing that Duo was hurt. But he managed to keep his fear from showing. At least he hoped he had. "How bad is it?"  
  
"Bruised ribs and a minor head wound. When we get him back to the base we'll be able to find out if it's worse than it seems." Trowa replied. He turned to go back up the stairs. "I'll go wake him."  
  
"No. Let him sleep. I want to rest a few minutes anyway." Heero said, as he walked over to a chair and sat.   
  
Trowa turned away from the stairs and sat in a nearby chair, his back to Heero. But Heero paid no attention to him. His mind was occupied with other things. All he could think about now, was Duo. He could only hope that he was okay. "Don't die." He whispered under his breath. Although Trowa had said Duo's injuries weren't too severe, he just couldn't get rid of that awful feeling deep in his heart. "Not before I can find the courage to tell you how I feel."  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
I know, not a great place to leave you hanging. Please, Review. Tell me if you like how this is going so far.  



	3. Part Three

Disclaimers: I don't own anything.  
  
Author's notes: Here's Part Three. Takes place after they got back to the base from the safe house. Hope it doesn't get too confusing, since the perspectives keep changing and switching back and forth between two time periods. But I finally put Wufei in it, although not much.  
  
WARNING!!! More Duo suffering ahead.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 3  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Quatre paced across the floor in the hallway outside the hangar, waiting for Trowa. He had heard of their return to the base, and that one of them had been injured. His mind was filled with worry, but he tried to hide it. Although he wasn't doing such a good job of that since he just couldn't keep himself still for more than a few seconds at a time. Trowa was everything to him. He wouldn't be able to stand it if Trowa died.  
  
"Would you calm yourself?" Wufei snapped. He was leaning against the wall, his eyes closed and his arms folded across his chest.  
  
Quatre turned, startled. "How long have you been there?"  
  
"Long enough to see how absurd you are acting. This isn't the first time they've come back from a mission."  
  
"But one of them is injured. I just wanted . . ." Quatre started, but Wufei interrupted him.  
  
"I believe everyone knows what you wanted. It's plainly obvious that you are here to check on the welfare of Trowa Barton." Wufei said, not moving from his place against the wall.  
  
Quatre glared at him, hating Wufei's attitude. "Then why are you here?"  
  
"I was just curious to see who was foolish enough to let himself get hurt." Wufei said. He opened his eyes, and looked to the door just as it opened.  
  
Trowa was the only one that walked out. As soon as he saw him, Quatre threw his arms around him. He didn't care that Wufei was watching. He was only happy that Trowa was okay.  
  
A moment later, he pulled himself away, feeling ashamed that he hadn't asked who was hurt. "Who was injured?" He asked.  
  
"Duo." Trowa replied.  
  
"I thought as much." Wufei huffed. He turned and walked away.  
  
Quatre ignored him. "Will he be okay?"  
  
"It didn't look too bad, just a couple bruised ribs and a minor head wound." Trowa replied, wrapping his arm around Quatre's shoulders as they walked down the hall.  
  
After a short, comfortable silence, Trowa spoke again. "Duo told me what was troubling him." He said plainly, in his usual calm voice.  
  
Quatre looked up at him, "He did?"  
  
"Yes. But don't ask me any more. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone."  
  
"That's okay. I don't need to know. As long as he told someone." Quatre sighed, glad in the knowledge that Duo had finally let someone get close to him. At least now, the braided pilot wouldn't be in so much pain.   
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
The night was cold and dark. Rain poured down on everything, soaking Duo to the bone. But he didn't care. He could die of pneumonia for all he cared. Duo wandered along the dark streets, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. It was all his fault, everything was. His entire life had been one huge disaster. He should have died when that virus swept through the colony when he was a kid. It would have saved him all the pain, all that misery.  
  
He ran into someone and mumbled an apology, as he continued to walk, not even bothering to look at who he had almost knocked down. His ribs ached with every step he took, and hurt more now that he had run into someone. But it didn't matter, nothing did anymore. His life was over, he had no reason to go on. Heero didn't love him, didn't care one little bit for him.  
  
Memories flooded his mind as he walked. He remembered the first time he had seen Heero. Sure, he had shot him twice, but still Duo had felt an intense attraction toward the Japanese pilot. And then more memories invaded his mind as he thought of that night's events, only about an hour ago. It was so clear in his mind that he could have sworn it was really happening again.  
  
  
Flashback  
  
  
It was night by the time he, Heero, and Trowa had gotten back to the base from the safe house. Duo was exhausted, his ribs aching with every move he made. But he knew he had to do this now, or he might never get the nerve to try it again. Luckily, Trowa had already left the hangar, wanting to see Quatre.  
  
"Heero?" Duo asked, fumbling around for the words to express how he felt for the other pilot.  
  
"What?" Heero snapped. His usually indifferent mood was replaced by anger, since their mission had not gone as well as either of them had hoped.   
  
They had found out just before leaving the safe house, that one of their targets had escaped the base before it had exploded. They had checked the news for any mention of the destruction of the base and were surprised to find out that the General running the base had gotten away with only a few minor cuts and scratches.  
  
Duo turned his attention to the floor, his heart pounding with fear. He had never been so afraid of anything in his entire life. Well, that wasn't true, but he didn't want to remember those painful memories at the time. "I have something to tell you, Heero." Duo said, keeping his voice at a whisper.  
  
Heero turned to him, his eyes passing over Duo's features, as if searching for something. "What is it?" He asked, his voice back to its usual monotone.  
  
Duo looked up into those Prussian blue eyes, his heart full of hope. "I-I love you, Heero, as more than just a friend." He said.  
  
An expression of shock crossed Heero's face and Duo felt that maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all. Then his expression changed to that of anger and caused Duo to fear the worst. His fears were all confirmed when Heero turned and walked away without saying a single word.  
  
Usually, Duo wouldn't stand for something like that. No one walked away from him like that. But this wasn't just anyone, this was Heero Yuy, the man that Duo loved. And obviously, Heero didn't love him back. But he had known that before he had said anything. Although, he had hoped that Heero at least liked him as a friend. But no friend would just walk away like that, without so much as a word.  
  
He turned and ran, not knowing where to go, not wanting to see that expression of anger on Heero's face again. He didn't go far, not even getting out of the hangar. His cheerful mask gone, he crumpled to the floor in tears, crying for the first time in his entire life. Not even when Sister Helen had died did he shed tears. But now his heart was crushed, his soul was torn apart, knowing that the only one he loved didn't love him back.  
  
He had been right when he was seven years old. There was no God.  
  
  
End of Flashback  
  
  
Duo felt the tears once again trying to come forward, but he kept them back. He couldn't let others see him cry, wouldn't give in to the weakness.  
  
A hand clamped on his shoulder, and Duo finally lifted his gaze, wondering who had the nerve to touch him. In his mind he hoped it was Heero, come to tell him that he did love him. But when he saw who stood before him, his body froze with fear. It was a face he would never forget, a face he couldn't forget. This was the man that had ruined his life so long ago.  
  
Back then, Duo had turned to stealing what he needed, living on the streets after the church had been destroyed. He hadn't even spent a year on the streets, when a man approached him, a man named Carl Thompson. He had seemed kind enough, so Duo went with him, thinking that he might be able to steal something from the guy.  
  
But when they got to Carl's home, Duo found out just how wrong he was about him. Carl wasn't nice, wasn't anywhere near nice. Carl was a pimp, and a much stronger man than Duo at the time. The beatings started almost immediately. Carl forced the eight-year-old boy to do horrible things on the threat of death if he didn't cooperate. Duo had no choice. He had to do it to survive.  
  
Duo shook his head, snapping out of the horrible memories of all those people that had used and abused his young body. He looked into the face of Carl. He was a little bit older, but still had the same cruel smile on his lips. There was less hair on his head, a few more gray ones than before.  
  
Duo couldn't believe how terrified he was, that he was paralyzed with fear. He was a Gundam pilot, he should be kicking Carl's ass. But he couldn't move a muscle, couldn't lift a finger.  
  
"It's so nice to see you again." Carl said, his eyes gleaming evilly.  
  
Duo tried to back away, but Carl's grip was so strong on his shoulder. "Go away." He whispered, his heart racing in panic.   
  
"I don't think so." Carl said.  
  
Before Duo could do anything, something collided with his head. He fell to his knees. He fought against the darkness that seeped into his mind, knowing that if he lost consciousness Carl would have him again. And then the pain would start all over again, the pain he never wanted to remember.  
  
But try as he might, the darkness overtook him. He slipped away, the last of the light fading, as he fell to his side. Heero help me, he thought, as everything else disappeared.   
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
An Hour Earlier  
  
  
Heero held his head in his hands, his fingers tightly woven into his hair. "What's wrong with me?" He asked the empty hallway. "Why couldn't I tell him?"  
  
He was referring, of course, to the events of that night, to the way he had just treated Duo only minutes ago. The long-haired pilot had just told him that he loved him, and all Heero could do was stare at him in shock.  
  
Heero mentally kicked himself for the way he had just left Duo standing there, not even able to say one word. He had been waiting so long to express his feelings, and all he could do when Duo had said that he loved him, was stare at him. He couldn't contain his own anger at the time, anger at his own fear and cowardice.  
  
When he had gotten out of the door, he had just slumped against the wall, wishing that he had been able to express his own feelings. He should have said something, anything.   
  
He had kept his own emotions bottled up for far too long, seeing them as a weakness. To him, emotions had been something he didn't need as a pilot, something that would only get in the way. But then he had met Duo. Over time, he got to know the other pilot, loving the way he laughed, the way he could always brighten up a room with the huge grin he always wore on his face. Seeing Duo, always made Heero's day, although he never expressed it in any visible way.  
  
Heero turned back to the door, deciding that he had to say something to Duo. He had to tell him that he loved him too. He had to let Duo know that what he had with Relena had only been some stupid way to attract his attention, to make Duo jealous.   
  
He knew he shouldn't have led Relena on like that, but the look on Duo's face when she hung off his arm, was just so delightful. The way his eyes sparked with jealousy, the way he looked longingly at the two of them, or more precisely at Heero. Heero had only done it, to see if there was any emotion in the other boy, to make sure he wasn't mistaken. But now he knew for sure that he hadn't been mistaken, Duo did love him.  
  
When Heero stepped back into the hangar, his legs stopped moving. He saw Duo, his body trembling as he sat on the floor, crying. Heero cursed himself, wishing that he hadn't caused him so much pain. He wanted to go over to Duo, to pull him into an embrace and tell him that it was going to be okay, but his legs just wouldn't work. He couldn't get himself to take a single step forward.  
  
As he watched, Duo stood and wiped his tears away with the back of his hand. He walked away, leaving the compound.  
  
Heero just watched, unable to do anything. Duo didn't need to see him now anyway, it would just be too painful for him. When he came back, Heero would talk to him. In his heart, he hoped that Duo wouldn't do something rash.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
The next morning, Heero woke up, and immediately looked over to Duo's bed. But when he didn't see the other pilot, his heart began to beat frantically. In fact, it didn't even look as if the bed had been slept in. Lord knows that Duo never made his bed unless Heero told him to.  
  
Heero quickly got up and got dressed. He rushed to the lunchroom, where he found everyone, except Duo, eating breakfast. "Have any of you seen Duo?" Heero asked, as he slowly approached the table, trying to keep his usual emotionless mask in place.  
  
"No. Why?" Quatre replied, placing his mug of coffee on the table.  
  
"It doesn't look like he slept in his bed." Heero replied.  
  
"I haven't seen him since last night, when I left him alone with you in the hangar." Trowa said.  
  
Heero looked away, wondering where Duo had been all night. This was all his fault. If he hadn't hurt Duo, then there would be no reason to worry.   
  
"He left the compound." Heero stated, his voice barely a whisper.  
  
"What?" Wufei nearly shouted.   
  
Trowa stood, his palms flat against the tabletop. "What happened last night?"   
  
Heero turned away, avoiding looking at any of the other pilots. He wasn't really comfortable talking about this. "I don't want to talk about it." He left, not bothering a more substantial answer. It was none of their business anyway. What had happened between him and Duo, was a personal matter.  
  
In the hallway, a hand clamped on his shoulder, forcing him to stop. Heero turned and, to his surprise, saw that Trowa had grabbed him. He was expecting maybe Quatre, but not Trowa.  
  
"What happened?" Trowa asked. His unusual tone was confusing Heero. Why did he care about what happened?  
  
"He told me that he loved me." Heero stated, plainly, as if it meant nothing. But inside he could feel the pain of his own cowardice, remembering the way he had just left Duo.  
  
Trowa's eyes widened in surprise. "What did you do to him?" He demanded.  
  
Heero cocked an eyebrow, wondering what Trowa was keeping from him. There was obviously some reason that he was so concerned. "I didn't do anything." Heero said, pulling his arm free of Trowa's grasp.  
  
"Then why would he leave? You must have done something."  
  
Heero closed his eyes a moment, knowing that he had, in fact, done nothing. When Duo had bared his heart and soul, all he could do was stare. "I didn't do anything. I turned around and walked away without saying a word."  
  
Trowa backed away from him, his one visible eye widening in shock. "And then what happened?"  
  
"When I went back into the hangar, intending to apologize, he was crying. I couldn't do anything, so I just watched as he got up and left the base." Heero couldn't believe he was telling him.  
  
"You stupid fool." Trowa muttered. "Do you know how much that must have hurt him?"   
  
"I can imagine." Heero replied.  
  
"No, you can't. Duo's been keeping his feelings and past hidden because he didn't want to get hurt. He's been through so much already. When he told you, he must have found the courage to finally let someone in, let someone get close to him. And you must have destroyed any hopes he had." Trowa's eyes were burning with rage.  
  
"What do you know about his past?" Heero asked, certain that Trowa did know something that he didn't.  
  
"Everything. But don't you dare ask me about it. I promised Duo I wouldn't tell. Even if I hadn't promised, I wouldn't tell you. You don't deserve to know after what you've done." Trowa sneered. He turned and stalked away, back to the lunchroom.  
  
Heero could only watch in amazement as the other pilot left. He had never see Trowa so angry, showing so much emotion. What did he know? What dark secrets were Duo hiding?  
  
But those questions paled in comparision to the others than ran through his mind. Where was Duo? Would he ever come back? And could Heero face him again if he did return, after all the pain he'd caused him?  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
  
Duo lay on the cold hard floor. His body shivered as the coldness seeped into every pore of his bare body. This is what he had been fearing for so long. This was the nightmare that plagued his every night. He was back in this terrible place, back with Carl.  
  
He pushed himself off the floor, pulling his knees to his chest in an attempt to keep warm. His ribs ached at the movement, his head throbbed in pain, but he was just so cold. The heavy metal chain that was shackled to his ankle, scraped across the cement floor as he moved. He wished he had some clothes, anything to keep himself covered.  
  
The room was completely empty. There was nothing that he could use as a weapon, as a way to get himself out of this mess. The stone walls were bare, as was the floor. There was only one door, and that was probably guarded.  
  
Duo felt so tired, probably from the drugs they had injected into his arm when he had first awakened. He had tried to fight them off, but there were so many hands holding him down, so many strong grips that refused to let go of him.  
  
"If it's at all possible, I believe that you are even more attractive than when I saw you on that street last night." Carl said, as he strolled across the small room.  
  
Duo did his best to seem unafraid, and glared at the disgusting man that stood just out of his reach. "I'll kill you for this." Duo said, as he struggled to keep his eyes open.  
  
"I highly doubt that." He knelt down in front of Duo, only an arm's length away. He reached out his hand and brushed Duo's bangs away from his eyes. No matter how much Duo wanted to swat that hand away, or rip it off, he couldn't. He just didn't have the strength.  
  
"Bastard." He mumbled, as he sank to the floor. But he didn't lose consciousness. He was aware of Carl's hands on his body, the disgusting way he touched him. He wished he would pass out, that everything would just go black.  
  
Carl's hands were in his hair, undoing it, letting the chestnut strands fall free. Duo felt sick to his stomach as he was rolled over onto his back. He knew what was about to happen, what Carl had in store for him.  
  
"Once you're broken in again, you'll earn me quite a lot of money. Just like in the old days." Carl whispered into Duo's ear, causing a shiver to run down the pilot's spine.  
  
The pain in his body as Carl forced himself into Duo, was dulled by the drugs running through his veins. He barely felt it as Carl used him once again, just like he had used him all those other times when he was younger.  
  
And finally, the darkness overtook him. His eyes fell shut as his mind slipped away, as everything just went away. His last thoughts were of Heero, wishing that Heero would save him from this nightmare somehow.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
Hope it wasn't too confusing. Please, Review and tell me how you think it's going so far.   



	4. Part Four

Disclaimers: I don't own anything.  
  
Author's notes: Here's part four. I think I went over the deep end with using Quatre's empathetic abilities. You know, that space heart thing. But you tell me what you think.  
  
WARNING!!! EXTREME DUO SUFFERING AHEAD!!!  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 4  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Heero paced, something he rarely ever did. He never felt nervous, had never worried about the other pilots before. But this was different. He had hurt Duo and now Duo was gone. It had been over three days, with no word from the long-haired pilot.  
  
He was sure now that something had happened. Duo would never just take off like this without telling someone, without calling to tell one of them where he was. He would, at the very least, call Quatre so that the blonde wouldn't worry. But there had been no calls, no messages. Duo was just gone and no one knew where he was.   
  
"Heero?" Quatre asked, stepping into the room.  
  
"What?" Heero snapped, although he had tried to keep his anger back. This was all his fault, he knew it. If he had said something, anything to Duo, he wouldn't have left.  
  
"We're going to run another search." Quatre said, quietly. "I thought you'd want to come."  
  
Heero lowered his gaze, but kept his voice at its usual monotone. "Thank you." He replied.  
  
Quatre smiled. "Don't worry, we'll find him."  
  
"What makes you think I'm worried?" Heero asked, his gaze fixed on the blonde.  
  
"I can see it just as clearly as day. I know you love him." Quatre replied, smiling slightly.  
  
Heero turned away. He had been trying to keep his feelings under control, trying to hide the fact that he was worried about Duo. The other pilots didn't need to know about his emotions. It was none of their business anyway.   
  
"Is it so obvious?" He asked, embarrassed by the fact that Quatre knew.  
  
"To me it is, but I doubt anyone else knows. I just have a strong intuition for these types of things."  
  
Heero stepped past Quatre, into the hallway. "So, where are we searching today?" He asked, wanting to change the subject. His emotions were not a subject he wished to discuss with anyone right now, not even with Quatre.  
  
"Just one of the dozens of possible routes Duo could have taken." Wufei said.  
  
Heero hadn't noticed him before. He hoped the Chinese pilot hadn't heard the short conversation he and Quatre had finished only a few seconds ago. Heero glared at him, as he passed by Wufei.   
  
"Let's take the exit in the hangar. I want to start from the beginning this time." Heero stated. No one argued.   
  
They walked to the hangar, starting from the beginning, as they attempted to track which way Duo had gone. Heero couldn't help but notice that Trowa wasn't there.   
  
"Where's Trowa?" He asked, although he didn't really care. All he cared about was finding out where Duo was, hoping that the pilot didn't hate him.  
  
"He's on the phone with Hilde, asking her once again if she knows of anywhere Duo might go." Wufei answered in a bored tone.  
  
Behind him, he heard Quatre gasp, and he turned to face the other pilot. Heero was confused by the sight before him. Quatre was kneeling on the floor beside the Deathscythe, clutching his chest with one of his hands, his other hand resting on the Gundam.  
  
"Are you okay?" Heero asked, not taking a step toward the young man.  
  
"I tripped." Quatre mumbled, his breaths coming in short ragged gasps.   
  
He stood and tried to walk past Heero without a further explanation, but Heero stopped him. Heero knew something was wrong. He grasped Quatre's shoulder when the pilot got close enough.  
  
"What aren't you telling me?" Heero asked.  
  
"I just got a feeling when I passed by Duo's Gundam, that's all." Quatre whispered, avoiding eye contact.  
  
"What kind of a feeling?" Wufei asked.  
  
"Pain. I felt a great sadness, intense feelings of self-hatred. I felt Duo's heartache." Quatre said, his voice so low it was almost inaudible.  
  
Heero turned away, not wanting to hear anymore. He already knew that he had hurt Duo. He didn't need Quatre to remind him of how stupid he had been, how much of a coward he was. He left the compound quickly, the others following close behind him.  
  
They walked along the streets of the city, only a few miles away from the base. Quatre was leading the way. Heero knew Quatre had a good intuition about things like this, so he trusted in the other pilot's abilities, no matter how strange it appeared.  
  
Suddenly, Quatre just stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "What is it?" Heero asked from behind him.  
  
Quatre turned, his brow furrowed. "There was something . . . Duo was here, I'm sure of it. But I don't know where to go from here."  
  
"Anything else?" Heero asked.  
  
Quatre put his hand to his heart, clutching at the cloth of his shirt tightly. "Fear. A terrible aching terror. And then a sudden blackness." Quatre murmured.  
  
Wufei pulled at his sleeve. "Let us get you back to the base. You do not appear well." He said, his voice never wavering from its usual tone.  
  
Heero didn't know if the Chinese pilot believed what Quatre had said, and really he didn't care. Heero believed that Quatre had a sixth sense about these things, that the young blonde could feel other people's pain. If that sense helped to find Duo, then he would believe anything.  
  
Quatre didn't argue as he was led away, back to the base. It was obvious that they weren't going to find Duo today. The sun was already beginning to set. They should have started earlier, should have tried this route before. Besides, there was no trace of the missing pilot, no clues to go by.   
  
Tomorrow, Heero would come back and talk to people. He would ask anyone around if they had seen Duo, show his picture around. Maybe if he was lucky, someone might have seen him.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Duo lay on the cold stone floor, his body curled into the fetal position, blood staining his pale thighs. He had only been here three days, but to him it was a lifetime. It was an eternity of nothing but pain and torment, as he was subjected to his worst nightmares, his own personal hell.  
  
He had already given up the hope of ever being rescued. That idea had disappeared over a day ago. Heero probably didn't even notice that he was gone, wouldn't care even if he did. Besides, if the others had any way of knowing where he was, they would have gotten him out by now.   
  
His body was used and abused. Carl was trying to break him, to get him back to the way he used to be, a terrified child willing to do anything that Carl wished. His body was covered in bruises, in cuts and scratches. But there was nothing too serious. No, Carl didn't want to leave any permanent marks on Duo's body, it was too valuable to him. However, just because there wasn't too much damage to his body, didn't mean that it didn't hurt. Carl knew how to cause pain without ever leaving a mark. It was something that Duo had learned long ago.  
  
Duo's body hurt so much. And that was all he felt anymore. He couldn't feel the cold, or the touch of Carl's hands when he used him. There was only pain and nothing more.   
  
He struggled against it, not wanting to give in. He couldn't let Carl break him, couldn't go back to being nothing like he had been as a child. He had to stay strong.  
  
But it was getting so hard. He wanted to give in, wanted desperately for the pain to stop. Every day it was as if a wave was crashing over him and breaking away his will like the sand on a beach.  
  
Carl knelt next to him. "I can make the pain stop Duo. All you have to do is tell me. Give in and all the pain will stop."   
  
He waved a syringe in front of Duo's eyes. Duo knew what was in that. It was a way out, but not a way that Duo was willing to take, not yet anyway. He didn't want to do that to his body, to let himself be controlled by Carl in such a way.  
  
"Never." Duo struggled to gasp out, as his body shuddered from the intense pain.  
  
Carl smiled. "Fine. It's only a matter of time before you're mine again. I can wait."  
  
Duo closed his eyes, as Carl left. He just wanted it to end, wanted all the pain to stop. It was almost unbearable. But he wouldn't let Carl control him. He would rather die, than go back to being nothing more than a toy to be used by that bastard and his clients.  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Trowa pushed himself away from the desk, not wanting to look at that computer screen anymore. He had spent hours searching police records for any mention of a person meeting Duo's description being in or near any accidents in the past week. But there had been nothing.   
  
He rubbed his eyes, wearily. He was tired of this. They weren't getting anywhere, weren't any closer to finding Duo than they had been a week ago. He took his hands away from his eyes and sighed, wishing Duo had left some trace.  
  
Arms wrapped around his neck, and he turned to see Quatre standing over him. "Anything?" Quatre asked, his voice hopeful.  
  
"No." Trowa replied. He let out another sigh, as he watched Quatre's eyes fill with sadness.  
  
"Why would Duo just leave like this, without telling anyone?" Quatre asked, taking his arms away from Trowa and turning away.  
  
Trowa wished he could tell Quatre, but he just couldn't betray Duo's trust like that. Duo had shared his secret with Trowa and he had made him promise not to tell anyone. That was a promise Trowa meant to keep. But he had to tell Quatre something. He had to know about what had happened between Duo and Heero. Trowa had been keeping it to himself for a week, he had to tell someone.  
  
"He told Heero that he loved him, and Heero just left him without saying anything." Trowa replied, crossing his arms over his chest.   
  
"What?" Quatre gasped, turning back to face Trowa.  
  
"My guess is that Duo left because of a broken heart."  
  
"But Heero loves him. Why didn't he tell him that?" Quatre replied.  
  
Now it was Trowa's turn to be surprised. "Heero loves him? Are you sure?"  
  
"Believe me, I'm positive. He didn't deny it when I told him that I knew he loved Duo." Quatre stated, as he once again wrapped his arms around Trowa, and Trowa returned the embrace.   
  
Even though his mind was preoccupied with worry over Duo, Trowa relished the feel of his lover's warm body against his. He wished that someday Duo would feel that contentment, that he and Heero would someday be as happy as Trowa and Quatre were.  
  
Trowa silently yelled at himself for being so hard on Heero a week ago. He had known that Heero had been sorry about not saying anything to Duo, when he had confessed his love for Heero. But if he had known that Heero did love Duo, he wouldn't have snapped like he had. But then he tried to think of why Heero hadn't told Duo that he felt that way.   
  
Then it came to him. Heero was trained to see his emotions as a needless distraction. He wouldn't have known how to react when Duo confessed his feelings so suddenly. It would have been a total shock for someone who was just beginning to feel again, like Heero was.  
  
Trowa stepped away, letting Quatre's arms fall away from him. "I'm going to go for a walk." He said, smiling slightly.  
  
Quatre smiled at him, and nodded. "Don't be too long."  
  
"I won't." Trowa replied, as he left the room.  
  
He walked through the halls, knowing he had to apologize to Heero for his harsh words. He stepped up to Heero's door, and knocked.  
  
"Who is it?" Heero asked, from the other side.  
  
"It's Trowa. Can I come in?"   
  
The door opened slightly, and Trowa pushed it the rest of the way. Stepping into Heero's room, Trowa glanced around. The lights were off, making the room incredibly dark. The only light came from the hallway behind him.  
  
Trowa reached over to the wall beside the door and flicked on the light switch. To his surprise, he saw Heero sitting on the bed that he knew was Duo's. The blankets and sheets were rumpled, suggesting that Heero had spent some time sleeping in that bed.  
  
"What do you want?" Heero asked, his voice the same as usual.  
  
"I just came to apologize." Trowa said.  
  
"For what?" Heero stood, and stared at Trowa.  
  
Trowa couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed, but he didn't let it show on his face. "For what I said a week ago. I had no idea that you loved Duo when I said those things."  
  
Heero turned away from Trowa and walked back over to the bed. He sat, resting his arms on his knees as he slumped forward. "I tried to push the feelings away for so long. I guess for too long." Heero said, staring straight ahead of him.  
  
Trowa stayed where he was, not really knowing what to do. He was completely shocked that Heero had even said that to him. The Perfect Soldier was actually talking about his feelings.  
  
Trowa shook off the shock he felt, and said, "When we find him, you can tell him how you feel."   
  
Heero looked up at him but his face never showed any hint of emotion. "He's never coming back. I know that. I wasted my only chance."  
  
"You can't think like that." Trowa said, stepping over to Heero. He tentatively placed a hand on Heero's shoulder.  
  
Heero shrugged Trowa's hand away and stood. "I can think any way I wish." Heero sneered. "I ruined my only chance because of my own cowardice." He turned to the nearest wall and punched it. However, since the wall was made of stone, he only succeeded in hurting himself.  
  
"Heero, stop it." Trowa said, grabbing Heero by the shoulders.  
  
He roughly pushed Trowa away. "Get away from me!" He shouted.   
  
"Heero, you can't do this to yourself. I'm sure that Duo will return in time. Even if he hates you, he'll return for his Gundam. He's too dedicated to his missions to just abandon them." Trowa said, believing every word of it.  
  
Heero sat on the edge of the bed. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Leave me alone." He said quietly. "Just leave me alone."  
  
Trowa backed away, knowing that Heero probably did need some time to himself. He closed the door as he stepped into the hallway, hoping that Duo would be found soon.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
A fresh wave of pain washed over Duo, as Carl once again forced his way into Duo's battered body. He closed his eyes tightly, biting his lip to keep from crying out in agony.   
  
He couldn't even remember what it was like to not feel pain. He had been there so long, at least a month, maybe more. He couldn't really be sure of how long he had been there.   
  
He wanted to die, wanted everything to just end. Anything, if only to escape this horrible place for a few minutes.  
  
Carl pulled out of him, pushing Duo roughly to the floor. Duo let out a groan, and nothing more, as he landed on the hard ground, irritating his bruised body.  
  
Duo didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. He was as good as dead. No one cared about him. No one would rescue him.   
  
His body shivered violently. He would give anything if the pain just stopped. He had nothing to lose anymore. Carl had already stripped him of his dignity and freedom. All he had left was self-hatred and pain.  
  
Then Carl was kneeling beside him. Once again, he held a syringe in his hand. "Do you want the pain to stop?" He asked, waving the syringe in front of Duo's eyes.  
  
Duo wished there was another way, any way. But the pain was so horrible, so agonizing. "Y-yes." He said in a shuddered breath.  
  
"Then tell me you're mine." Carl smiled, removing the plastic cap from the needle.  
  
"I'm yours." He replied, a tear falling from his eye.  
  
Carl pressed the plunger of the syringe up, making sure there were no air bubbles in it. A spray of liquid shot out the tip. "And you'll obey my every command." He demanded.  
  
"Y-yes, your every command. I'll obey."   
  
More tears fell from Duo's eyes, as Carl placed the syringe on the floor beside him. He pulled a strip of rubber out of his pocket and tied it around Duo's arm, tight enough to expose his veins.  
  
"Because when you obey, you'll be rewarded. And when you don't, the pain will return." Carl said, picking up the syringe once again. "And you don't want to feel the pain, do you?"  
  
"No. No more pain." Duo answered. Soon the pain would stop, soon he would be free of the agony.  
  
Carl smiled, "I don't know if I should. How do I know you won't just leave the first chance you get?"  
  
Duo weakly held out his shaking arm, wanting to get this over with. "Please." He pleaded, just wanting the pain to end.  
  
"Will you try to escape?" Carl asked.  
  
"Never." Duo replied, his voice weak.  
  
"Swear it."   
  
Duo's hand was trembling, his whole body shaking. He just wanted the pain to end. Why wouldn't Carl let the pain end. "I promise, I'll never try to escape."  
  
Carl smiled again. God, this was agony, Duo thought, as the shaking of his arm grew steadily worse. He couldn't hold it up any more, it was just too heavy, and he was so tired.  
  
Carl caught his arm as it fell. "Good." He said, as he finally stuck the syringe into Duo's arm, injecting the liquid into his vein.  
  
It didn't take long for the drugs to kick in. A euphoric smile spread across Duo's face as the pain slipped away. Finally, he had the relief he had been seeking, relief from all those unpleasant feelings and thoughts. It all slipped away and it felt as if he was in another world.   
  
It no longer mattered that now Carl would have complete control over him, that he would make Duo sell his body again. Duo would quickly become addicted to the drugs, to the relief from all the pain. And then, he would do whatever Carl wanted, if only to get more. He knew that, but it no longer mattered to him. At least he didn't feel the pain anymore. And that was all that he cared about now.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
Hope you liked it. I wasn't too thrilled with this part, with the way I used Quatre's space heart or whatever it's called. But I didn't really know what to do. Please, Review and tell me what you think.  



	5. Part Five

Disclaimers: I still don't own anything.  
  
Author's notes: Well, here's part 5. Hope you like it.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 5  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
The months had passed by slowly for Heero. Duo was gone, without a single trace. It was all Heero's fault, he knew that. He should have said something, anything. But he had chickened out. He should have stopped Duo from leaving, but he had been too much of a coward.  
  
Heero was now sure that something had happened to Duo. There was no way that Duo would just disappear for two months without word to anyone. He would have at least come back for his Gundam. For all Heero knew, Duo was dead.  
  
He pushed himself away from his desk, away from the laptop. There was nothing, no trace of Duo, not one piece of evidence to tell him where he was. It was as if he had vanished into thin air.  
  
He rubbed his eyes, wearily, tired of this search. His hopes for ever finding Duo were diminishing with every passing day. But they were still there, even after two months. His hope was the only thing keeping him going. Without that, he would have given up long ago.  
  
Heero stood, closing his laptop as he moved. He picked up his laptop, then turned to the bed that had belonged to Duo. It was empty, like Heero's life was now. Heero had never thought he'd miss Duo so much, his laugh, his smile. Everything about him, was just wonderful, but now all Heero had were memories.   
  
He bent slightly, and picked up the suitcase that had been sitting beside the bed. Time to go, he thought. There was nothing left for him here, not with Duo gone. He didn't need to stick around here for his missions. He could accomplish them just as well on his own. Besides, this place only reminded him of how much of a fool he had been, how he had wasted his only chance with Duo.  
  
Heero walked to the door, turning back one last time before he left. "Where did you go Duo?" He whispered aloud, although he knew he wouldn't get an answer.   
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
As Duo buttoned the front of his shirt, he yawned. He wiped at his watery eyes, feeling the sweat on his face. He had to get back to Carl quick, he knew that. The symptoms of withdrawal were already beginning, as the time of his next scheduled dose got closer. He was already addicted to the drugs Carl had given him, and he didn't care. As long as he didn't feel the pain, he would do anything for Carl, for the drugs.  
  
He glanced over his shoulder, seeing the sleeping form of his latest client. It didn't matter to him what that guy had done to him, how he had used his body. All that mattered was getting back to Carl so that he could get a fix. He didn't want the memories to return, the pain to come back. As long as he did what Carl said, he would be rewarded with relief from the agony he had known for so long. No nightmares, no longer caring what happened to him.  
  
He reached over and grabbed the money on the bedside table. Then he turned and quickly left the hotel room. His loose hair flowed behind him as he made his hasty exit. Carl wanted him to keep his hair down at all times, saying that it attracted customers. If that was what Carl wanted, that's what he would do.  
  
Carl owned a building in the city, a hotel. He had an office in the back, with a backdoor just in case the police showed up. It was where all his employees lived. Duo, now Carl's favorite once again, got the largest room and didn't have to share it with any others. This made some people jealous, especially Jack. He used to be the favorite and used to have the largest room.  
  
Duo walked into the lobby. Several of Carl's other employees were lounging around, just waiting for their next assignment. Most of them were on drugs, but a few were still clean. None of them mattered to Duo anyway, so he just kept on walking.  
  
"Well, look who it is, Carl's little pet." A snide remark from an uncouth bastard. It was Jack, with his bleached blond hair and thin muscular body.   
  
He was just a few years older than Duo, at least he looked older. You could never tell by looks anymore. This kind of work aged a person much faster than normal.  
  
"Jack." Duo said, not bothering to reply to the jerk.  
  
"Need a fix, I assume?" He sneered.  
  
"It's none of your business Jack. Why don't you crawl back into that hole you call a room?" Duo replied, without taking a glance in Jack's general direction. He continued on his way to Carl's office.  
  
As Duo walked into Carl's office, he held out his hand. "Here's the money." He said, his voice wavering, as his hand trembled.  
  
Carl took the money from his sweaty palm. "Good, I have another job for you." He said, quickly counting the money.  
  
"But what about . . ." Duo asked, raising his arm slightly.  
  
Carl looked up at him. "Don't worry, you'll get your fix." He smiled. "Roll up your sleeve."  
  
Duo did as he was told, quickly rolling up the sleeve of his shirt past his elbow. Carl reached into a drawer of his desk and pulled out a syringe and a strip of rubber. Duo held his arm out, trying to keep it from shaking as Carl tied the rubber around it.  
  
As he pushed the needle into Duo's arm, Carl spoke. "This is a new client, so I don't know what this guy likes. Whatever he wants you to do, you do it. He's paying a lot of money for you."  
  
"Yes, sir." Duo replied, as the shaking in his hands slowly subsided.  
  
A smile spread across his face as the drugs took effect. All worries slipped away, all fears, as he was left with a curious detachment to the world. Nothing truly mattered anymore. Anything could happen and he wouldn't be the least bit concerned.   
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Duo walked along the street, checking the address written on the piece of paper in his hand. Where was this place anyway? He had been walking for hours, and still hadn't found it. Maybe he had taken a wrong turn somewhere.  
  
A strong wind swept past him, brushing his hair over his shoulder. As the wind died down, he tossed the chestnut strands back again, not really caring if he got any knots in them. He would have to find this place soon, or else risk the client leaving. If he didn't get paid, Duo knew he wouldn't get his next fix. "No money, no relief." Carl had told him repeatedly.  
  
He shuddered, thinking of the only thing that scared him anymore. If he didn't get his drugs, he'd remember, and he didn't want that. He didn't want the painto come back.   
  
Duo sighed, as he saw what he had been looking for. Finally, he thought, as he approached the small house. It was rundown, and looked to be falling apart. But Duo didn't mind as long as he was paid.  
  
He walked up to the front door and knocked. Silently, he waited, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, nervously. It was an uncontrolled response, he hated waiting around.  
  
The door slowly opened, its hinges creaking loudly as it swung. Duo squinted as he looked into the dark house. Something wasn't right about this. Why weren't there any lights? But he knew he couldn't just turn and leave. He needed the money. So, he stepped inside, slowly, wondering what was going on.  
  
The door slammed shut behind him, and he jumped, startled. Someone grabbed him, and forced him to the ground as a light was turned on. He struggled against the hands, but found out that whoever they were, had very strong grips.   
  
"Who the hell are you?" Duo asked, not liking this one bit.  
  
A familiar voice whispered into his ear. "You should never have come back."  
  
Duo turned his head, his eyes meeting with Jack's. "What do you think you're doing?" Duo demanded. "When Carl finds out about this, he'll . . ."  
  
Jack smashed his fist into Duo's face, silencing him. "But Carl won't find out. He's never going to see you alive again. My friends here will make sure of that." He gestured to the five men that were holding Duo down.  
  
"Why?" Duo asked, although he already had a very good idea as to why Jack would do something so stupid.  
  
"I was his favorite after you left. All those years, it was me, and no one else. Why couldn't you have just stayed away?" A tear fell from Jack's eye, but Duo couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for the guy. Jack was about to kill him.  
  
Without another word, Jack nodded to his friends. Only seconds later, a number of fists and feet collided with Duo's body. Duo tried to block them, but there were too many punches, too many kicks.   
  
"Go ahead boys, have fun." Jack laughed.  
  
The clothes were stripped from his body, as he lay there, bloody and beaten. He coughed, spitting up blood. This was not good, definitely not good. His body ached as four of the men continued to beat him, while the fifth man positioned himself behind Duo. The pain tore through him like a white-hot poker, and he screamed out, unable to contain the agony, as one of the men forced himself into Duo's sore body.   
  
The beating stopped momentarily, as that man found pleasure in Duo's body, causing him nothing but pain. Then, when he was finished, another took his place, once again roughly pushing his way into Duo. Then another, and another. Each one used him, and when they were done, the beating began again.  
  
Finally, it stopped. Duo lay on the floor, his body filled with pain. He coughed again, blood splattering on the floor. He could taste it in his mouth, the blood, and knew he probably had internal injuries.   
  
"You're going to die here, Duo. And then I'll be the favorite again." Jack said.  
  
Duo struggled to stay conscious, knowing that he would probably die if he blacked out now. But he couldn't stop it, couldn't stay awake any longer.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
He didn't know how long he had been unconscious, didn't know how long he had been lying there. But when he woke up, the first thing he noticed was that Jack and the others were gone. They left him to die. Stupid fools. It wasn't that easy to kill a Gundam pilot, even if he was on drugs.  
  
Duo struggled to push himself off the floor. He could barely move, his body hurt so much. He knew for sure that his left arm had to be broken with the way it hurt. At the very least, it was a bad sprain or a fracture.   
  
As he sat on the floor, he slowly reached up and touched the side of his face. Already, he could feel the swelling around his eye, in his lip and cheeks. Those men had worked him over good.  
  
He looked down at himself, wondering just how badly he was hurt. His abdomen looked as if it was just one massive bruise, his ribs throbbing painfully. The inside of his thighs were covered in blood, caused when those men had forced their way into him. He was hurt bad, he could see that. He needed a doctor, or some kind of help.  
  
His could see his clothes on the floor beside him. He reached over and grabbed them, his hand shaking as he moved. Oh, God, did his body hurt. Slowly, and carefully, he got dressed, trying not to hurt himself further.  
  
Then he stood, his legs threatening to give out on him. He stumbled out of the house and began the long walk home, back to Carl's. He needed help, but he knew he couldn't go to a doctor. Carl wouldn't like that.  
  
By the time, he reached Carl's building, it was nearly dawn. It was agony, trying to stay on his feet. But he knew he had to keep going. He walked down an alley, intending to go to the back entrance. He wouldn't let the others see him like this.  
  
Duo knocked, leaning against the wall beside the door for support, cradling his incredibly sore arm against his body. When Carl opened it, Duo could see the anger in his face. He couldn't help but feel scared.  
  
"What the hell happened?" Carl demanded.  
  
"Jack, the little punk. There was no client." Duo replied, his words slurred.  
  
"That little bastard." Then Carl looked to Duo. "Well, you're no use to me anymore. Get out of here." He pushed Duo away without a hint of regret or remorse.  
  
Duo fell to the ground, his body screaming in pain. He couldn't believe that after all he'd sacrificed, that Carl would just toss him away like he was nothing. But then again, how would he make any money for Carl if his body was so badly damaged? No one would want Duo right now.  
  
He stood and turned away from Carl's place, as the door slammed shut. This was it, time for him to die. Duo's life was now over. Without the drugs he would go into withdrawal soon. And with the injuries to his body, he doubted he could survive. In only a few hours, he'd feel the first symptoms, and then it would only be a matter of time before he died.  
  
He stumbled down the alley, keeping his hand on the wall so that he wouldn't fall over. He had to find someplace, anyplace. He didn't want to die on the streets. If he had to die, he wanted to die in a bed, in a warm house.   
  
Only one place came to mind, as he thought of where he could go. One of the safe houses. And there was one not too far from here. It would only take a few hours to get there. Just in time for him to collapse from the oncoming withdrawal symptoms.   
  
A crash of lightning and a rumble of thunder startled him, and he had to force his body to stop shaking. It hurt too much to move, too much to shudder. He had to keep calm, at least until he made it to the safe house.   
  
By the time he reached the safe house, he was soaked to the bone from the pouring rain. He was shivering, unable to stop himself. And it wasn't just from the cold. The effects of withdrawal had begun. In a little while, he'd feel a whole lot worse, although it was hard to believe. Duo didn't think he could feel worse at the moment. Every inch of his body already hurt.  
  
He grabbed the doorknob and turned it, not bothering to check and see if anyone was inside. He didn't care at the moment. All he wanted to do was get inside so he could die quietly.  
  
Suddenly, the door was yanked from his hand, as it was flung open. Duo looked up, and his eyes widened in shock at the sight of the person before him. This was the last face he had expected to ever see again. His heart pounded in his chest, seeing the man he loved standing before him. He was overcome with shame, as he looked into those beautiful blue eyes.   
  
"Heero?" Duo whispered.   
  
He knew Heero would hate him so much for what he had done, for what had been done to him. Then, everything quickly went black and he felt himself falling.  
  
"Duo?!" He heard Heero shout, as he felt himself being caught in a pair of strong arms. The arms he had wished so long ago to hold him, the arms of the man he wished had loved him. But then everything faded away, all sensation, all the pain, as he lost consciousness.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
Hope you liked it. I know cliffhangers are terrible. Please, Review.  



	6. Part Six

Disclaimers: I don't own anything.   
  
Author's notes: Here you go, Part 6. Finally, Heero and Duo are reunited. But Duo's suffering isn't over yet. This starts off with Heero's perspective, just before Duo arrived at the safe house. Oh, and thanks to Tenshi-Chan for all your help.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 6  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Heero sat in the safe house, reading various reports on the military resources of a neighboring country. It was quiet, except for the nearly constant rumbling of thunder coming from outside and the drumming of the raindrops as they hit the roof.  
  
The reports didn't interest him, nothing really did anymore. But it was a way to keep his mind off of Duo, at least for a short time. However, his mind always returned to the memories of Duo, wondering where he had gone. Who knew where the long-haired pilot had run off to so long ago?  
  
The sound of approaching footsteps outside attracted his attention. Heero stood and walked to the door, picking his gun up from the coffee table as he stood. No one knew he was there, so no one should be there.  
  
As he approached the door, the handle slowly turned. He grabbed it and yanked it open quickly, leveling his gun, ready to shoot whoever had disturbed his quiet afternoon. But at the sight of Duo standing before him, he dropped his gun. It clattered to the ground, but Heero didn't hear it. He was totally focused on the person before him.  
  
Even though the body was battered and beaten, Heero was sure that it was Duo. There were numerous bruises to his face, several cuts and scratches. His lip was split in several places. His once lovely hair was matted with blood and dirt. He was completely soaked from the rain. His sleek body shivered from the coldness of the afternoon.  
  
"Heero?" Duo whispered, his face showing a look of total shock.  
  
Before Heero could say anything, Duo's eyes rolled back in his head and he crumbled to the ground. Heero caught him in his arms as he fell, yelling his name in fear and worry.  
  
He picked up the unconscious pilot carefully, trying hard not to hurt him any further. He didn't want to cause Duo any more pain than he was obviously already in.  
  
He carried Duo into one of the bedrooms, and laid him down on the bed. Oh, God, he looked terrible. What the hell had happened? Who would want to hurt him? Heero tentatively placed his hand against Duo's cheek. He quickly pulled it back as Duo groaned in pain. He was hurt badly . . . any idiot could see that.  
  
Heero hated to leave his side, even for a second, but he knew he had to get some help. He didn't have the skills or equipment needed to help Duo. He ran to the nearest video phone and dialed Sally Po's number.  
  
"Yes?" She answered, pleasantly. When she saw Heero though, her mood immediately changed. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Duo's here. He needs help." Heero answered, trying to keep himself calm. Panicking wouldn't be of any use right now.  
  
"You found him?" Sally gasped.  
  
"No. I'll explain later. Just get here quick and bring your equipment. He may have internal injuries. We're at safe house number 18." He hung up, not giving Sally a chance to say anything else.  
  
He rushed back to Duo's side, not really knowing what to do. How could he help Duo? He didn't want to hurt him.   
  
A thought came to him. He might not have the medical knowledge needed to treat Duo's more serious injuries, but he could at least clean him up a little. He left the bedroom once again, only to come back a few minutes later with a basin full of water and a washcloth.  
  
Heero set the basin on the bedside table and dropped the washcloth into the water. He sat on the edge of the bed, and turned to Duo. He could see the pain on the other pilot's face. It was obvious that the long-haired pilot hadn't found relief in unconsciousness.   
  
Heero slowly unbuttoned Duo's shirt, and took in a gasp at the sight of the massive bruise on the other pilot's torso. It was huge, covering his chest and abdomen. How many kicks and punches had it taken to make that, Heero wondered.  
  
"Whoever did this to you is going to die slowly and painfully." Heero whispered, to the vulnerable form of the man he loved.  
  
He picked up the washcloth, ringing out the excess water. Then, with as much gentleness as he could manage, Heero began to slowly wipe the blood and dirt from Duo's body. His only thoughts and hopes were that he wasn't causing Duo even more pain with his actions.  
  
He rinsed out the washcloth, then moved on to cleaning Duo's face. As he carefully dabbed at the blood on one of Duo's cheeks, he was startled to see Duo's eyes blink open.  
  
"Duo?" Heero asked, his voice a whisper.  
  
What Duo said next, crushed any hopes that Heero might have had left, of trying to take another chance with him, of telling Duo that he did love him.  
  
"Stay away from me. Don't hurt me. Leave me alone." Duo whimpered, as he tried to back away from Heero. He was terrified, but Heero didn't know if it was because of him or not. Whatever had happened to Duo out there was his fault. Duo would never be able to forgive him for his cowardice, for not being brave enough to tell Duo how he really felt about him.  
  
Heero took hold of Duo's shoulders gently, but firmly. "Duo, I'm not leaving you. You're hurt. You need help." Heero replied, wishing he could do something to take away the fear and suffering he saw in Duo's cobalt eyes.   
  
Duo stopped struggling, stopped trying to back away. His eyes locked on Heero's for a moment. "Heero?" He asked, as if unsure of who he was looking at. "I'm sorry." He said, repeating those two words over and over again, until his eyes fluttered shut, and he once again succumbed to unconsciousness.  
  
Heero took his hands away from Duo's shoulders and just sat there, unable to comprehend why Duo would be sorry. Why did he want Heero to forgive him? Heero pushed the thoughts away as he resumed his task of cleaning the blood from Duo's face. This was more important to him at the moment, Duo's health was more important than trying to figure out why he felt he needed to apologize for something.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Wufei walked through the hallway. Hearing a shuffling sound coming from behind Sally's office door, he opened it and peeked inside. He saw her packing equipment into several large black bags.  
  
"What are you doing?" He asked. "Going somewhere?"  
  
"Heero found Duo. He told me he was hurt." She replied, continuing to pack supplies. She didn't even take a second to glance in his direction.  
  
"What?" Wufei gasped. He had all but given up hope of Duo ever being found.   
  
Even though Wufei found the loudmouthed American annoying at times, he had grown accustomed to his presence around the base. He would never admit it, but he missed the cheerfulness that Duo seemed to spread around him wherever he went.  
  
"I'll get the others. They will want to know about this." Wufei said. He turned and walked back out to the hallway. "We will meet you outside."  
  
Wufei jogged down the hallway, knowing exactly where to find Trowa and Quatre at this hour. Since neither of them had a mission to go on, they would be spending their free time together. Wufei knocked on Trowa's door. After hearing no response, he knocked again. A moment later, the door opened a crack.  
  
"What?" Trowa asked, impatiently.   
  
Wufei could see the sweat on the other pilot's face, hear that he was out of breath. He had no doubts about what Trowa and Quatre had been doing. But it was of no concern of his. Whatever Trowa and Quatre chose to do with their spare time was none of his business. As long as it didn't get in the way of the missions, they could do whatever they wanted with each other.  
  
"Get dressed. Duo's been found." Wufei said, simply. Then he turned and walked away.  
  
"Wait!" Quatre called out, as he stepped past Trowa into the hallway, wearing only a sheet around his sweat slick body. "Who found him?"  
  
Wufei stopped and turned to face him, not bothering to bring up the fact that Quatre wasn't really dressed. "Heero did. If you hurry, we won't have to wait long to see him and find out where's he's been for so long."  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Trowa grabbed Quatre's arm and pulled him back into the room. "Come on, let's get dressed." He said.  
  
Quatre didn't object. He also didn't say anything, which worried Trowa somewhat. Still, most of his concern was for Duo, wondering where the other pilot had been all this time.  
  
As he hastily put on his own clothes, Trowa glanced over at Quatre. The adorable young blonde was just sitting on the bed dressed only in his pants. His shirt lay on the bed beside him, but it didn't look as if he was going to put it on. As Trowa watched, he saw Quatre's shoulders begin to shake.  
  
He walked over, concerned. Tears streamed down the blonde's cheeks. Trowa knelt down in front of Quatre, his heart filled with worry for his young lover. He hooked a finger under Quatre's chin and lifted his head so that he could gaze into those beautiful blue eyes of his.   
  
"What's wrong?" Trowa asked, brushing a few tears from Quatre's cheek with a thumb.  
  
Quatre avoided looking at him as he spoke. "I betrayed Duo."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I never thought he'd be found. I gave up hope." Quatre said, as more tears fell down his angelic face.  
  
Trowa wrapped his arms around his love, pulling him into an embrace. "You didn't betray him. We all gave up hope, Quatre. Every one of us, except for Heero." He said, trying to comfort his angel somewhat. He truly didn't know what to say to make it better.  
  
Trowa could feel the tears on his shoulder, the wetness in his shirt. Quatre's body shook as he let out his tears. Trowa could only hope that his words had helped a little.  
  
After a moment, Quatre pulled away from him. "Wufei's waiting." He said, placing a fake smile on his face. "We should get going."  
  
Trowa stood, as Quatre pulled on his shirt and quickly buttoned it. He didn't know what to do. Quatre couldn't blame himself for this. Trowa would have to talk with him later, after they found out about Duo.  
  
Quatre stood, wiping the last of his tears away with the back of his hand. Trowa draped an arm around him as they left the room, knowing that Quatre still felt ashamed for losing hope. Quatre always was a sensitive person.  
  
A few hours later, Trowa stared out the window of the car, watching as the storm raged outside. There was nothing to see outside, except for the raindrops that steadily ran down the window. The sun hadn't really been out at all that day. It was a completely dreary day, the rain never having stopped for more than a few minutes at a time.  
  
Wufei was sitting in the passenger seat, beside Sally, who was driving. That gave the entire backseat of the car to Trowa and Quatre. Trowa turned to look at the angel that sat beside him.   
  
Quatre was staring down at his lap, a tear rolling halfway down his cheek. Trowa was worried. How much longer would Quatre blame himself. He hated seeing Quatre like this.  
  
Trowa reached out and wiped the tear away. Quatre turned to him, and smiled slightly, but Trowa could see right through it. He still blamed himself for losing hope, for giving up.  
  
Trowa grasped Quatre's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Stop blaming yourself." He whispered, trying to keep his voice low. He really didn't want Wufei and Sally to overhear. His personal life with Quatre was just that, personal.   
  
Quatre took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "I don't know if I can." He sighed. He lifted his gaze to meet Trowa's. "But I'll try."  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Quatre appreciated Trowa's concern. But how could he strop blaming himself, when he felt so ashamed. He had lost hope, had given up. It was something he had never done before. No matter how bad things ever got, he always had hope, even if it was just a tiny glimmer.  
  
But not this time. Duo had disappeared, and after only two months Quatre had given up. He thought for sure that Duo had died, or that he would never return.   
  
After getting the bags from the trunk of the car, they jogged over to the door of the safe house, the rain pouring down on them from the gray afternoon sky. Each of them carried a large black bag, filled with Sally's medical equipment. Quatre couldn't help but wonder if she had brought her entire supply of medical equipment with her.  
  
"Heero?!" Sally called out, as they entered the house.  
  
"Upstairs, first door on the right." Heero shouted, from somewhere in the house.  
  
Sally and the others rushed up the stairs and entered the room. The first thing Quatre saw was Duo, lying on the bed across from the door. He looked horrible, covered in bruises and wounds.   
  
"My God." Trowa gasped.  
  
Quatre was surprised to hear such a remark from the man he loved. He hadn't known that Trowa even believed in God.  
  
"Okay, everyone out. I need room to work." Sally said, pushing Heero away from the bed and Duo.  
  
But Heero didn't seem to want to leave. Wufei grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room, as Quatre and Trowa were turning to leave.   
  
They went downstairs, where Heero pulled his arm away from Wufei's grasp. Immediately, he started pacing, and mumbling to himself. To Quatre, it looked as if Heero was afraid, but that couldn't be right. Heero never showed any kind of emotion, especially fear.  
  
As he paced, Heero became more and more nervous. He was bordering on sheer panic. Quatre was worried, not only about Duo, but now about Heero as well. Heero obviously didn't know how to deal with the emotions within him. And Quatre could sense so many emotions coming from Heero, love, fear, hatred. It was probably too much for Heero to take all at once.  
  
Quatre would have tried to help him deal with the emotions, but it seemed that both Trowa and Wufei wanted answers to their questions first. "What happened to Duo?" Wufei asked.  
  
"I don't know." Heero replied.  
  
"What do you mean, you don't know?" Trowa asked.  
  
"Just that. I don't know." Heero stopped pacing for a moment, and turned to face them. "He just showed up like that and passed out."  
  
Heero started pacing again and muttering about how the whole mess was his fault. His constant pacing, seemed to be getting on both Wufei and Trowa's nerves. Finally, Trowa snapped. "Dammit Heero! Just cry and get it over with!"  
  
"Trowa, take it easy." Quatre said, coming to Heero's defense. This was no time to start an argument. It wouldn't do anybody any good.  
  
"Why should he? We're not going to get any answers unless Heero starts making sense." Wufei huffed.  
  
Heero began breathing faster, as he wove his fingers into his hair. He groaned as he pulled at his hair, obviously having problems dealing with his emotions.  
  
Trowa approached Heero quickly, and grabbed his arms, pulling his hands away from his hair. "Just let it out for once." Trowa said. "You can't keep your emotions bottled up forever."  
  
Before Heero could reply, Sally walked down the stairs. Everyone looked to her, as she slowly made her way over to them. Trowa took his hands away from Heero and stood beside Quatre.  
  
"How is he?" Heero asked, sounding unusually scared.   
  
Sally hesitated, not answering right away. But she did answer. "I only did a preliminary examination. He has a concussion, a broken arm, several broken ribs, and internal bleeding which will need to be stopped soon. There are numerous lacerations and bruises."  
  
"But will he live?" Heero interrupted.  
  
Sally averted her gaze. "I'm not sure. His wounds aren't his only problem. It appears as if he's addicted to some form of narcotic. He's showing the first symptoms of withdrawal. But that's not the worst."  
  
"There's something worse than that?" Wufei asked.  
  
Again, Sally hesitated. "There is evidence to show that Duo has been sexually assaulted . . . repeatedly."  
  
Wufei gasped, and Quatre couldn't help but notice that Trowa's expression hardened at the mention of sexual assault. Quatre knew all to well what Trowa had gone through as a child, with all those mercenaries that had used him so violently and without care to what they were doing to him. But this was different. Quatre could see that Trowa knew something. Maybe about the secret Duo had told him all those months ago.  
  
Quatre was about to ask Trowa about it, when Heero began yelling, his eyes burning with rage. "When I get my hands on whoever did that to him, I'll cut his heart out with a spoon! I'll make him eat his own liver!"  
  
"Heero, calm down. Duo will need you here." Quatre said, trying to keep Heero under control. The last thing they needed was for Heero to go over the edge.  
  
"Besides . . . why a spoon?" Trowa asked.  
  
Heero continued to pace, his tightly clenched fists hanging by his sides. "Because it's dull. It'll hurt more." He fumed.  
  
Sally stepped closer to Heero, holding her hands out in front of her. Quatre could see a syringe in one of her hands. "Heero, are you going to calm down on your own, or am I going to have to sedate you?"  
  
Heero finally stopped pacing and glared at her. "How can you expect me to calm down when some bastard . . ." He broke off, unable to continue that sentence. "He can't be allowed to get away with it."  
  
When Heero turned away from her, Sally gave the rest of the guys a nod. Quatre knew what that meant. Without warning, the three pilots grabbed Heero, holding him down so that Sally could sedate him.  
  
Trowa had him in a bear hug, more to keep him still than anything else, and Wufei and Quatre each had hold on one of his wrists. Unfortunately, no one had hold of his legs, so he was still able to kick. Sally tried to avoid his feet, but some kicks did come in contact with her, while she injected the sedative into Heero. Those kicks obviously hurt, since she flinched each time he hit her, but she didn't back away until she was finished.  
  
They continued to hold him, as he fought against them. Quatre knew they couldn't let him go, not until he was unconscious. Heero was still pissed as hell, and would probably take out his rage on one or all of them before the drugs took effect.  
  
"I wish I hadn't had to do that." Sally said, as she stepped away from a furious Heero and the guys that still held him down. "We've been trying to get him to feel, for so long. Now I feel like I'm punishing him for doing just that." She sighed.   
  
Heero's movements were slowly dying down as the sedative began to work. But still, the guys held on to him.   
  
Sally continued speaking. "Still, I'm going to have my hands full as it is. I don't need the added worry of Heero going out and doing something foolish."  
  
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei let go of Heero, just letting him lay on the floor. "What do we do with him now?" Wufei asked.  
  
"I guess we should put him in one of the bedrooms." Trowa replied, looking down at the unconscious pilot.  
  
Sally stepped over to them. "When you're done, I'm going to need your help with Duo." She said.  
  
"What do you need us to do?" Quatre asked, turning away from Heero to look at her.  
  
"The internal bleeding has to be stopped quickly. But until I can determine what drugs he's been using, I can't take the risk of giving him any painkillers or anesthetic. Who knows what reaction they would have with the drugs already in his system?" Sally replied. "I'm going to need you to hold him down while I operate."  
  
"We'll do everything we can." Wufei said, as he knelt next to Heero.  
  
Trowa also knelt beside Heero and grabbed his feet, while Wufei took hold of his wrists. They picked him up and carried him up the stairs. Quatre went ahead of them and opened the door to one of the bedrooms. He watched from the doorway as they laid Heero down on the bed.  
  
Then the three of them went into the room Duo was in. Sally was already there, waiting for them. She was setting up her equipment, getting ready for the operation. "Trowa, can you open up the portable gurney. This is going to be a messy operation. I don't want the blood to soak into the bed."  
  
Quatre walked over and stood beside Duo, while Trowa unfolded the gurney. It seemed as if Sally had definitely come prepared for anything. But Quatre was focused on Duo.   
  
The long-haired pilot's body shivered as he lay on the bed, his face covered in sweat. Bruises marred his face, blood stained his clothes. Quatre could sense his pain, the agony within his body. There was so much hate within Duo, so much suffering. Quatre could barely stand sensing the emotions, the pain. He clutched his chest with his hand, in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain he had felt from Duo.   
  
A hand clamped on his shoulder. But he didn't need to turn to know that it was Trowa. "Are you okay?" Trowa asked.  
  
"I'm fine." Quatre replied, for some reason finding it hard to breathe.  
  
Then Sally came up next to him. "Why don't you help me with the surgical tools, Quatre? I don't think you should come in such close contact with Duo."   
  
"Okay." Quatre replied. He was relieved that Sally had remembered his empathic abilities. They all knew that it would be worse for Quatre if he had to actually touch Duo.   
  
Once again, he looked to Duo. Poor Duo, he thought. Quatre could only hope that Duo would be okay.  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
  
Trowa once again stared out of a window, watching the rain as it still fell from the dark clouds in the night sky. He remembered the events of a few hours ago, the operation Sally had preformed on Duo. He and the other's had held Duo down, trying to keep him from moving around too much, except Quatre who handed Sally the equipment when she needed it.  
  
Duo had woken up just before the operation began, as they were moving him from the bed to the gurney. "We're going to help you, Duo. But I won't lie to you, it's going to be very painful. You have internal bleeding and I have to stop it, but I can't give you any anesthetic." Sally had said to him.  
  
Duo had nodded and gritted his teeth, as each of the pilots took their places. Wufei had held Duo's legs down, to keep him from kicking. And Trowa had his hands on Duo's shoulders.   
  
It was awful, listening to Duo's screams, as Sally cut into him. But it was plainly obvious that Duo was trying to keep himself under control. Apart from the occasional times he writhed from the pain, he fought to remain still. And after a short time, he lost consciousness again, making it a lot easier to hold him down.  
  
After the operation, only a few minutes ago, Heero had awakened. And he wasn't too happy with any of them at the moment. Considering they had drugged him, he was actually taking it very well. Trowa thought for sure that Heero would have slugged them all by now. But he hadn't. He just glared at them all, not saying one word. This action hadn't really surprised Trowa, it was normal behavior for the non-emotional pilot.  
  
In the glass of the window, Trowa could see Quatre's reflection. "Are you okay?" Quatre asked, as he approached Trowa.  
  
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Trowa replied, turning to look at Quatre.  
  
A bandage was wrapped around the young blonde's forehead. Quatre had fainted during the operation, from sheer exhaustion after his empathic abilities had picked up on all that pain Duo had been going through. It must have been horrible for him, feeling so much pain coming from one of his friends.   
  
Trowa couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like to be able to feel another person's emotions or pain. It must be both a blessing and a curse to Quatre. But to Trowa, it was just another reason to admire Quatre. You had to be a strong person to be able to handle something like that. And Quatre, his angel, was a strong person.  
  
Quatre touched the edge of the bandage with his right hand. "It's not too bad. Just a large bump and a small cut." He smiled.  
  
Trowa crossed the distance between them, and took hold of Quatre's hand, pulling it away from his head. "You shouldn't have even been in that room in the first place. It was too much for you."  
  
"No, I'm glad I was there. Seeing Duo again, made me realize that I can't blame myself for losing hope. It won't help Duo if I do that. And now I have hope again. Hope that Duo will survive this." Quatre said, a small smile appearing on his face.  
  
"I'm happy for you, Quatre." He said, pulling his angel into an embrace.   
  
Hopefully, Duo would survive this, somehow. Although it didn't look too good for the long-haired pilot. Duo's injuries were quite serious. And not only did he have a drug addiction, but he had also been sexually assaulted. This experience would be agony for Duo, Trowa knew that. After what Duo had gone through as a child, he might not be able to handle going through that kind of pain again.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .   
  
  
  
The next part should be the last, although I'm not too sure. Hope you liked this one. Please, Review.  



	7. Part Seven

Disclaimers: Still don't own anything.  
  
Author's notes: Here's another part. Hope you like it.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 7  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Duo still felt the pain. It never left him, not even when he was unconscious. It was always there, tormenting his every moment. And now, he slowly regained consciousness, bringing all the pain back. From the dull aches he felt when he was asleep, and returning them to the intense pulsating waves he could already feel beginning to overtake him.   
  
Duo was vaguely aware of there being someone in the room with him. Some things were a blur to him. Most things after leaving Carl's place that night, were vague memories. He remembered walking the streets, his body filled with pain. Then he remembered reaching the safe house, only to find that the place wasn't empty, as he had assumed it to be. Heero had been there, and Duo had collapsed into his arms, exhausted.  
  
He opened his eyes, hoping that it hadn't been a dream, that he had actually found his way back to Heero.   
  
"Duo?" Heero whispered, a wet washcloth in his hand.  
  
Duo couldn't help it, he was scared, afraid of being hurt. Maybe it wasn't Heero. Maybe it was just another trick by Carl. There had been so many times over the past few months that he had thought he had seen Heero, only to realize that it was just an illusion created by the drugs Carl gave him. And then he would be alone, with an aching void slowly devouring his heart.   
  
He tried to back away from Heero, feeling an overwhelming terror in his heart. It couldn't really be Heero. It had to be a trick. Carl was probably just waiting for him to say something, to make some mistake before he hurt Duo again.   
  
"Stay away from me. Don't hurt me. Leave me alone." Duo whimpered, as his heart pounded in his chest. He was terrified. It couldn't be Heero. Why would Heero be watching over him? He didn't love Duo. No one did. And no one ever could, not anymore.  
  
Heero took hold of Duo's shoulders, stopping his futile attempts to get away. "Duo, I'm not leaving you. You're hurt. You need help." Heero replied, his voice sounding unusually emotional. Duo could hear fear in his voice, and it confused him.  
  
Duo stopped struggling, stopped trying to back away. His eyes locked on Heero's for a moment. There was something about the Prussian blue eyes, something that told him that it wasn't all a dream, an illusion created by the drugs. But he had to be sure. "Heero?" He asked, wanting to believe that it was really him.  
  
A glimmer in Heero's eyes, told Duo that he wasn't mistaken, that it really was him. He never thought he'd ever see Heero again. But now, all that fear he had felt only moments ago, turned into self-hatred and shame. Heero must hate him so much for what he'd become, for what he had done and what had been done to him. Heero must think that he was disgusting.   
  
"I'm sorry." Duo said, repeating those two words over and over again, wishing that Heero didn't hate the disgusting creature he had become. And after a few moments, he once again succumbed to unconsciousness, to the darkness that took him away from Heero and the hatred he must feel for Duo.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
When Duo awakened again, he felt himself being lifted from the bed he had been lying on. He opened his eyes, not knowing what to expect. Trowa and Wufei had picked him up, then laid him down on a gurney. Quatre and Sally stood over him.   
  
He didn't know what was going on, and frankly he was scared. What were they doing to him? What was about to happen? His breathing grew faster as he wondered what was going to happen.  
  
Sally leaned over him. "We're going to help you, Duo." She had said. "But I won't lie to you, it's going to be very painful. You have internal bleeding and I have to stop it, but I can't give you any anesthetic."  
  
Duo didn't like the sound of that. No anesthetic? But that would hurt like hell. He nodded, knowing it had to be done. If he had internal bleeding, it had to be stopped or he could die.   
  
As each of the pilots took their places, holding him down, Duo gritted his teeth, in anticipation of the pain he knew he would be feeling momentarily. In the back of his mind, he wondered where Heero was, why he wasn't there like the rest of the pilots. The only answer that came to his mind was that Heero hated him. This was the proof. If Heero cared for Duo in any way, then why wasn't he there?  
  
Quatre handed Sally the scalpel. She cut into him, and Duo screamed out, unable to stop the shrill cry from leaving his lips. Oh God, did it hurt. He struggled against himself, trying to keep from moving. He knew Sally had to do her job, or else he would die. If he moved too much, she might make a mistake.  
  
He writhed as she removed the scalpel from his flesh. He could see that she was speaking, but he couldn't hear her. He couldn't hear anything, but the beating of his own heart.   
  
Duo took his eyes away from Sally, and looked to Quatre. The blonde looked positively horrible. His face drawn and pale, as if he were feeling the pain along with Duo. Still, he handed Sally the instruments she needed.  
  
As he watched Quatre, his vision grew fuzzy. He saw Quatre swaying, but that could have been because of the dizziness that he felt. Then Quatre fell and everything went black. Duo was unconscious once again, but still he felt the pain within his body. The agony covered him like a blanket, making him forget what it had been like to not feel it.  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Heero stood in the hallway, just staring at the door in front of him. It was Duo's room. He was in there right now, fighting for survival, struggling against his addiction to narcotics.  
  
He wanted to go in there, wanted to see Duo. But he just couldn't bring himself to open the door. He didn't know if he could bear to see Duo in so much pain. And what if Duo was awake? Could he stand to see the hate in Duo's cobalt eyes?   
  
Heero felt like such a coward. He should have told Duo that he loved him when he had the chance all those months ago. He should have said something. Now it was too late. Duo would never feel anything but hatred for him. He had lost his only chance.  
  
He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He had to do this, had to see how Duo was doing. Maybe he needed something. If he did, Heero would get it. He'd get him anything he desired, no matter what it took. Even if he wanted Heero's heart on a platter because he hated him so much, Heero would do it for him. Anything to make up for being the coward that he was.  
  
Heero grabbed the doorknob and slowly turned it. The door opened without a sound. Silently, Heero crept into the darkened room. He shut the door behind him, just as quietly as he had opened it.  
  
As his eyes adjusted to the lack of light, Heero could see more of the room. He wouldn't dare turn on a light and let Duo know that he was there. Not when Duo hated him so much.  
  
Even without a light, Heero could see Duo. He was laying on that bed that Sally had called the base to get. It had arrived about an hour ago, and they had immediately taken it up to this room gotten Duo onto it. It was a hospital bed. It had criblike sides and optional positions for Duo's comfort and safety. Also, it had straps, holding Duo down to it. His wrists were restrained, as were his feet. Now at least they didn't have to worry about him hurting himself further. And his strength was so low that they knew he couldn't break free of the restraints.  
  
Heero just watched him from across the room. Duo's body was shaking from the withdrawal symptoms, his muscles twitching every few seconds. Every now and then, he made kicking movements, the spasms in his muscles increasing in frequency. His clothes and skin were covered in sweat. He looked so fragile, lying there, his breathing rapid, as he moaned in pain.  
  
Heero took a chance and walked to the edge of his bed. "I'm sorry, Duo." He whispered, knowing that Duo couldn't hear him right now.   
  
Sally had told all of them that Duo was too far out of it to be aware of anything. But in about a day, he'd be more focused, and still going through severe withdrawal. Sally had finally been able to give him something for the pain, something that wouldn't react badly with the drugs already in his system. It didn't look as if it were working, but Heero could see that it was. If he hadn't been given those painkillers, it would have been so much worse for Duo.  
  
Still, even if Duo couldn't hear him, it made Heero feel slightly better to talk to him. "I should have gone after you. I should have said something."  
  
A single tear fell from his eye, surprising him. He brushed it away, as if it were something disgusting to him. Crying was a sign of weakness. And he would never cry, no matter how much it hurt to see Duo like this.  
  
Heero remembered what Sally had told them earlier. "These drugs are unlike anything I've ever seen before." Sally had commented only a few hours ago.  
  
"What do you mean?" Heero asked.  
  
"I'm sure it's a narcotic. But there are certain properties that I can't identify. Whoever gave this to him, must have manufactured it himself."  
  
After hearing that, Heero had gone right to Duo's door and stood there for several minutes, not doing anything, not moving.  
  
Now he stood beside Duo's bed, wondering who had hurt the other pilot. Who would want to hurt Duo in the first place? Heero knew that Trowa knew something. But he wasn't talking, saying something about promising Duo that he wouldn't.  
  
Heero looked down at Duo, wishing he could take the pain away from the man he loved. He tentatively reached out, and brushed the bangs away from Duo's eyes. His fingers brushed against the damp skin of his forehead, and he could feel the fever burning within the other man. Duo groaned loudly, causing Heero to fear that something was wrong. However, Heero didn't move, not wanting to leave Duo alone again.   
  
Duo's eyes snapped open, and Heero took his hand away from him. There was something about Duo's gaze that told Heero that he hadn't truly awakened from his fevered dreams. The way he looked at him, or more precisely, through him, was eerie, as if Duo were looking at somebody else.  
  
"Please, make it stop." Duo pleaded, his breaths coming in short ragged gasps. "Please . . . Carl . . . Why are you doing this to me? You know I'll do anything you want. Please . . . just make it stop . . . Make the pain stop."  
  
Heero laid his hand against Duo's cheek, as the long-haired pilot slipped back into unconsciousness once again. Heero's mind reeled with the new knowledge he had just acquired. Now he knew the name of Duo's tormentor. And when Heero found this Carl, whoever he was, he would make him pay. It was only a first name, but at least it was something to go on. Heero would find him, no matter how long it took. And then he would make Carl pay for all the pain he had caused Duo.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Duo didn't know how long he had been there. To him it felt like an eternity, although it could have only been a few hours. He slipped in and out of consciousness so often, that he wasn't sure of anything anymore. All he knew was that he was in pain.  
  
They had him in restraints, and no matter how much he pulled at them, he couldn't seem to break them. Although, he didn't pull too hard with his left arm, since it was in a cast. He was just so tired, but now he couldn't sleep, not unless Sally gave him something.  
  
His heart was beating rapidly, but he wasn't scared, wasn't agitated in any way. It was just another symptom of withdrawal, along with the muscle spasms, the chills alternating with the excessive sweating, and the tremors. The pain in his back was killing him. His eyes were watery, his nose constantly runny. He couldn't stop yawning, and no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn't get to sleep.  
  
He wanted to die now. He should have just collapsed in the street and died out there in the rain. Why had he bothered to come to the safe house? Why had he let Sally operate on him to stop the internal bleeding?  
  
It would have been so much simpler if he had died. Then Heero wouldn't have had to see him, had to be faced with the disgusting thing he had become.  
  
The door opened, and Duo pushed away the thoughts of Heero. He turned his attention to the open door, waiting for whoever it was to walk in. It was Quatre, a bandage wrapped around his head. A single spot of blood was soaked into the white bandage.   
  
In his arms, Quatre carried a tray. On the tray was some food for Duo and some clean pieces of cloth, not to mention the silverware.  
  
"What do you want?" Duo snapped. He didn't really want to see anyone at the moment.  
  
Quatre smiled, and crossed the room. He set the tray down on the table beside the bed. "I just brought you some food." He said, pleasantly.  
  
Duo glared at the blonde, sneering at his kindness. "I'm not hungry."  
  
"Duo, I'm not too sure about before you got here to the safe house, but you've been here over a day and still haven't eaten anything." Quatre said, as he stood by the edge of the bed.  
  
"Leave me alone." Duo replied, turning away from Quatre. He didn't want the other man so close to him, didn't want to be touched by anyone.  
  
"I can sense your pain, Duo. I know what you're going through."  
  
Duo snapped his head back, and spat out a reply. "You have no idea what I'm going through. You can't imagine."  
  
"I'm sorry." Quatre said, keeping his eyes locked on Duo's. "It was a poor choice of words. But please let me help you?"  
  
Duo could see that Quatre only wanted to help, that he was only concerned with his health, but something inside of him, kept telling Duo that it didn't matter. He should be dead anyway. He didn't deserve to live.   
  
But if Quatre wanted to help, he wouldn't stop him. It really didn't matter to him one way or the other. "Fine. I'll eat." Duo said.  
  
He watched as Quatre grabbed the remote control from the table and pressed one of the buttons. Below Duo, the bed moved, lifting him into a more upright position. The movement pained his body, made all his wounds ache, but he only groaned at the pain.   
  
Quatre put the remote back on the table, and the bed stopped moving. "You look horrible, Duo." Quatre commented.  
  
"Thanks." Duo said, sarcastically.  
  
Quatre grabbed a tissue and held it to Duo's nose. "Blow."  
  
"I know what to do. I'm not that pathetic." He replied, then blew his nose into the tissue Quatre held for him. He hated this, feeling completely helpless. He wasn't an invalid. Why did they have to treat him like one?  
  
Quatre crinkled his nose, as he wiped Duo's nose. Then he tossed the tissue onto the table. He picked up the bowl of soup and a spoon, from the tray he had brought into the room with him.  
  
"Dinner time." He smiled.  
  
Duo huffed, wishing he could hold the spoon or bowl himself. But with his wrists in restraints, that was totally out of the question. Even if he weren't in restraints he wouldn't be able to feed himself, his body just wouldn't stop trembling no matter how much he tried to stop it. So, he opened his mouth, letting Quatre feed him, even though he didn't feel hungry.  
  
After only a few spoonfuls, he couldn't eat any more. It wasn't that the soup was bad, in fact it was great. The best chicken soup he had ever tasted. He just wasn't really hungry, and he was starting to feel sick to his stomach. He turned his head away as Quatre tried to feed him another spoonful. "No. I can't."  
  
"Are you okay?" Quatre asked, placing the bowl and spoon back on the tray.  
  
"I'm fine." Duo replied, closing his eyes against the wave of nausea that swept over him. He was relieved when it passed, glad he hadn't vomited in front of Quatre.  
  
"You don't look fine." Quatre replied.   
  
Duo was startled when he felt something brush against his forehead. He snapped his eyes open, and pulled away. In Quatre's hand was a piece of cloth. Duo knew that the blonde had only meant to wipe away some of the sweat that soaked his skin, but he didn't like the contact, didn't want anyone to touch him. Not yet, anyway.  
  
Quatre took his hand away, looking at Duo with sorrow in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."  
  
Duo didn't reply. He felt ashamed. Quatre should only be kind to people who were worthy. And Duo didn't deserve Quatre's kindness. But he didn't want Quatre to feel bad.   
  
"Could you do me a favor?" Duo asked, not wanting Quatre to be upset.  
  
"Anything." Quatre replied, a hopeful smile spreading across his face.  
  
Duo struggled with his emotions, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. He didn't want Quatre to know how much it scared him to let someone else touch him. "Could you brush my hair? I don't have a brush, and I'm sure there are lots of knots in it."  
  
Quatre's smile widened. "I think there's one in the drawer." He turned to the table beside the bed and pulled the drawer open. A moment later, he pulled out a brush. "They keep these safe houses stocked in case one of use needs it. Anything we might need is usually close at hand."   
  
Duo swallowed hard, trying to stop the shaking in his body, to stop his muscles from twitching. He didn't want Quatre to see his fear, he didn't want any of the other pilots to know how terrified he was of physical contact. He wasn't afraid of Quatre touching him, not really. He was afraid of the memories that would resurface at the contact. The memories of the countless times that Carl had touched him, had used him.  
  
Duo leaned forward, knowing that Quatre had to get to his hair. The movement caused his wounds to ache, but he had to do this, had to let Quatre help him. He knew he couldn't let the blonde get upset.  
  
Quatre gently took hold of Duo's hair, pulling it out from behind his back. As he slowly ran the brush through Duo's hair, he continued to talk.  
  
"I have to apologize to you, Duo." Quatre said.  
  
"For what?" Duo was confused. What did Quatre have to apologize for? Duo should be apologizing for being the disgusting creature that he was.  
  
Quatre didn't speak right away. He finished with the tangles in Duo's hair. Then he set the brush aside and stepped back. "I gave up hope on you. I didn't think we'd ever find you. For that I must beg your forgiveness." Quatre said, as he bowed his head slightly.  
  
Duo saw a tear fall from the blonde's eye. "Don't apologize. I don't blame you. I never expected to be found." Duo replied, meaning every word. He should have died.  
  
Quatre lifted his head and smiled slightly, brushing his tears away. There was an awkward silence, and then Quatre spoke again. "Why don't you try to get some rest? One of us will be with you from now on. You won't be alone. If you ever want to talk . . ."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever." Duo interrupted, knowing what Quatre was saying. He didn't really want to hear it. No one could help him. Not when the only thing he wanted to do was die. Heero didn't love him, he hated Duo. There was nothing left that Heero could ever love about him.  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
  
Wufei walked through the hallway. He stopped as he passed by Duo's door. He was worried about the other pilot, although he would never allow anyone else to know that. As he started walking away again, the door opened. Quatre walked out.  
  
"Oh, Wufei." He said as he jumped slightly, apparently startled by Wufei's presence.  
  
"How is he?" Wufei asked, keeping his voice at its usual tone.  
  
Quatre sighed as he closed the door behind him. "Not good. He's nothing like he used to be. I can sense so much pain in him, not just physical pain. He hates himself, what he's become. I can feel it."  
  
Wufei kept up his impassive act, although hearing of Duo's pain was quite upsetting. Duo was a good pilot, and an even better friend. It was hard to hear that Duo was hurting.  
  
"Can you do me a favor?" Quatre asked, bringing Wufei out of his thoughts.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Can you sit with Duo for a while? I have to go talk to Trowa." Quatre replied.  
  
"If you insist." Wufei said, hiding the fact that he would be more than happy to watch over Duo.  
  
"Thanks." Quatre said, then he walked away.  
  
Wufei opened the door and walked in. Seeing Duo lying there, his body drenched in sweat, was a strange sight indeed. He had never seen Duo in such bad condition. Not even when they had been prisoners together had Duo looked that awful.  
  
"What do you want?" Duo asked, his voice filled with anger.  
  
"Sally said that we were to watch over you. Quatre had to do something, so I am taking his place for a moment." Wufei stated, as he walked over to Duo's bedside.  
  
"Man, I must be in bad shape if you're in here to cheer me up." Duo said, placing a fake smile on his face. But Wufei could see right through it.  
  
"As annoying as you are, you're a comrade in arms. You're of no use to us in your current condition." Wufei replied, hiding his worry.  
  
Wufei didn't even bother to mention that Heero was of no use with Duo in that state either. The usually unemotional pilot of Wing Zero, was a wreck. Heero didn't eat, didn't sleep, unless Sally drugged him. He was definitely in no shape for battle. But Wufei didn't like butting in. It really wasn't his business whether Heero and Duo got over this, and got together or not.  
  
"Gee . . . Thanks! I feel loads better!" Duo said, his tone sarcastic.  
  
"Besides, you have a way of growing on people." Wufei said.  
  
Duo didn't reply. But the stupefied expression on Duo's face was enough to make Wufei quirk a slight smile. Obviously, Wufei's unusual positive statement toward Duo had suprised him.  
  
  
Chapter Six  
  
  
Quatre walked through the halls. He threw open the door to the room that he and Trowa shared. He was glad to see Trowa was there, once again sitting by the window. Trowa turned when Quatre walked into the room. Quatre closed the door behind him.  
  
"What did Duo tell you?" Quatre blurted out as he crossed the room. Normally, he wouldn't ask, since he knew Trowa had promised not to tell. But he had to know why Duo was in such pain. There was more to it than Quatre knew.  
  
Trowa stood, facing Quatre. "I don't know what you're talking about."   
  
"Oh please. I know Duo told you about his past." Quatre grabbed Trowa's hand, holding it firmly in his own.  
  
Trowa looked away. "I can't tell you. I promised him."  
  
"But he is in so much pain. I can't help him, no one can help him, unless he starts talking." Quatre pleaded.  
  
"I can't betray him, Quatre. Please don't ask me again." He took his hand away, and turned his back to Quatre.  
  
This was so wrong. Everything was falling apart. Duo was in pain, Heero was a wreck, and now Trowa was hurting. Quatre could feel his emotions, how torn Trowa was between his feelings and the promise he had made to Duo.   
  
Quatre mentally slapped himself for being so blind. He should have taken Trowa's feelings into consideration before he tried to get him to talk. Trowa wouldn't tell him, and now Quatre didn't want him to. He would just have to think of another option.   
  
He slowly wrapped his arms around Trowa, laying his head against his lover's back. "I'm sorry Trowa. I wasn't thinking. I won't ask again."  
  
For a while they just stayed like that. Then Trowa took hold of one of Quatre's hands, and pulled him around to face him. "Don't be sorry. You were only concerned with Duo's welfare."  
  
Trowa pulled Quatre into an embrace, and Quatre hesitantly returned the hug, feeling that he didn't deserve it. He just held him, but Quatre didn't want anything more. Quatre should have been more considerate. He should have thought. Trowa was so kind not to blame him, even if he didn't know it himself.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
Yes, I know, I thought this was going to be the last part too. But I just couldn't stop writing. I hope you're not getting bored. There's still some good stuff yet to come.  



	8. Part Eight

Disclaimers: I still own nothing.  
  
Author's notes: We're getting close to the end. Enjoy.   
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 8  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Relena stepped out of the limo, and looked up at the house before her. So this was where Heero had been for over a week, Relena thought to herself.   
  
In truth, she hadn't seen Heero for months, not since Duo's disappearance. There had been no calls to her from him, nothing. Sally had called her yesterday, that's how she had found out what was going on, that Duo had been found about a week ago. And when Relena had heard about his condition, she had shuddered violently, hoping Duo would pull through somehow.  
  
She just wished that Heero would have told her himself. Of course, she knew that Heero had never really loved her. She had tried to deny it for so long, wishing that he'd learn to love her. But it just wasn't working out that way. He'd let her hang off his arm, let her give him quick kisses. But Heero obviously loved Duo more than he could ever love her.  
  
Relena walked to the front door and knocked, holding tightly to the package that she carried so carefully in her arms. It was a gift for Duo, something he might need to get through this horrible situation. It had helped her through some dark days, nothing to compare with Duo's troubles, but maybe it would help him somewhat.   
  
Sally answered the door. "Relena, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I have to see Heero. And I have a gift for Duo, something to make him feel better. How is he doing?"  
  
Sally sighed, as Relena entered the house, and she shut the door. "His wounds are healing fine. His drug addiction is wearing off, slowly. But his emotional state seems to be deteriorating. Quatre says that the self-hatred he picks up on, whenever he's in the room with Duo, is getting worse. Duo just isn't getting better. And frankly, I don't know what to do anymore."   
  
"And Heero?" Relena asked, hoping she didn't sound too selfish.  
  
Sally looked away for a moment. "Actually, not well. He's not sleeping or eating properly. And the others are no better. Quatre is having a tough time dealing with all of this, feeling everyone's mixed-up emotions and it's slowly wearing down his health. Trowa knows something and it's tearing him up inside because he promised Duo he wouldn't tell. And I know it sounds crazy, but I think even Wufei is upset by Duo's condition."  
  
Sally went on to continue to talk about Duo's health. Relena found out that Duo had been in restraints up until yesterday, when he finally showed signs of improvement. He was still weak, but now he could get around on his own. Sally still had someone in the room with him at all times, but at least he could feed himself. And that was good for him. Sally said that she had hoped it would boost his morale a little now that they weren't treating him like an invalid, but it wasn't working. He just never got up. Always laying there, staring at the wall beside his bed.  
  
"Where is Heero? I really need to see him." Relena asked, interrupting Sally while she was talking about what else had happened in the past week, while Duo had been recovering.  
  
"Upstairs. First door on the left, directly across from Duo's room." Sally said, gesturing toward the staircase.  
  
Relena didn't wait to hear any more. She walked upstairs and knocked on Heero's door. No one answered, so she knocked again.   
  
"Go away." Came the answer from inside the room.  
  
Relena wasn't about to listen to that. She had come all the way out here and she wasn't leaving before she told him what she came to say. She opened the door and walked in, ignoring Heero's statement. She closed the door behind her.  
  
Heero was sitting at a desk, his back to the door. Relena could hear the typing and knew he was doing something on his laptop. She could see a bunch of papers scattered across the floor, but didn't give any of them a second glance. She was only concerned with Heero, not the mess he had made of his room.  
  
"Go away." He repeated, without turning to look at the door or who stood in front of it.  
  
"I won't." Relena replied.  
  
He spun around in his seat. Relena could see the dark circles under his eyes. He looked tired, and his skin was so pale.  
  
"Relena?" He gasped.  
  
She stepped closer to him, as he stood. "What are you working on? Or do I not want to know?"  
  
"I'm trying to find the bastard that hurt Duo." He said, surprisingly showing emotion. She had never seen him so angry, his eyes burning with rage.   
  
It was so strange to see him finally showing emotion. All that time she had spent with him, she had hoped she'd be the one to bring his emotions out. But she hadn't. It seemed that Duo had succeeded where she had failed. Even if he hadn't done it on purpose.  
  
"I need to talk to you, Heero." She stated, getting back to the reason for why she was there.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Us." She replied.   
  
He didn't reply, so Relena continued. "It's just not working out. I mean, you excited me in ways I never dreamed. You gave me a sense of danger. I know now that it was just a case of . . ." She paused to stop herself from smirking at her next choice of words, "a case of hero worship. It would never really work between us, and I've just been fooling myself thinking otherwise."  
  
His only reaction was to blink. But she hadn't really expected anything more. He hadn't been serious with her. She knew his heart lay elsewhere, that he was in love with Duo. Relena had to break up with Heero, so that he wouldn't have to do it himself. She could at least spare him that awkward experience.  
  
"What's in the box?" Heero asked, to Relena's surprise.  
  
She smiled. "A gift for Duo." She replied. "I don't need it anymore. I thought he could use it now."  
  
Heero turned away. He sat again, and resumed typing on his laptop. Obviously, he was finished talking with her.  
  
Relena turned and walked back to the door, knowing that there would be no point in trying to continue a conversation with Heero. He was done, he would just ignore her. She knew that from experience.  
  
She quickly crossed to the other side of the hall and entered Duo's room. Of course she knocked first, she didn't want to be rude. But since Duo didn't answer, she just opened the door and walked in.  
  
Relena saw him lying on the bed, just as Sally had told her. He was just staring at the wall, not even turning when she entered the room. She could see all the bruises, although many of them were fading. They must have been awful looking a week ago when they were still fresh.  
  
"Relena?" A voice said, startling her.  
  
She placed her hand against her chest, trying to stop her heart from jumping as she turned to the source of the voice. Trowa was sitting in a chair near the door.  
  
"Trowa, you startled me." She said, taking her hand away from her heart.  
  
"I apologize. What are you doing here?" He asked, as he rose from his seat.  
  
"I came to talk to Heero, and to see Duo." She replied, taking a glance at Duo who still stared at the wall.  
  
"Well, I'll leave you two alone then. If you need me, I'll be outside." He said, his face as calm as she remembered, although his eyes seemed different. If she wasn't mistaken, she thought she had seen sorrow in his beautiful green eyes.  
  
"Thank you." Relena said, as Trowa exited the room. She watched as he shut the door behind him, then she turned her attention back to Duo.  
  
"Duo?" She said, stepping over to the bed.  
  
"What do you want?" Duo asked, his voice bitter. "Come here to gloat or something?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" She asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.  
  
Duo turned to face her, "I know you've never liked me. Why else would you be here, but to gloat, to see me in pain?"  
  
"Duo that's not true. I know we've never gotten along well, but I would never enjoy seeing you in pain." Relena replied, forcing herself to keep her hands to herself. She knew Duo wouldn't want her to touch him.   
  
"Yeah, right." Duo sneered.  
  
Relena held out the box she had carefully wrapped herself. Might as well give it to him now, she thought. "Here." She said.  
  
Duo narrowed his gaze, eyeing her carefully, as if he didn't trust her. "What's this?"  
  
"A present." Relena replied, placing a kind smile on her face.  
  
Duo took the package, hesitantly. He slowly opened it. This was not how she remembered him opening gifts. Relena had thrown a Christmas party once, and she remembered how Duo tore through the wrapping paper of each of his presents. He had been excited that he had received any gifts, even if some of them had been from her. But now, he didn't look like he wanted it, like he didn't truly care about it.  
  
He casually tossed the wrapping paper aside, then opened the box. His brow furrowed as he pulled out what was inside. It was a teddy bear with a red bow tied around its neck, the same bear that Heero had given to Relena on one of her birthdays.  
  
"A bear?" He huffed, glaring up at Relena.  
  
"Heero gave it to me. I don't need it anymore, I thought you could find some use for it." Relena said, taking the box from Duo and picking up the wrapping paper he had dropped on the floor.  
  
Duo dropped the bear on the bed beside him, as if it were nothing. "Goodbye." He said. Then he turned back to the wall, once again ignoring Relena.  
  
"Good bye." Relena replied.  
  
She turned and left, knowing that Duo didn't want to talk to her, didn't want to see her. He just wanted to be alone. It was obvious that he was in pain, not just physically. She could only hope that he would get over this someday.  
  
"I take it things didn't go as well as you had hoped." Trowa commented as Relena exited the room.  
  
"I don't blame him for being angry. Not after what he's been through. I just hope he gets better someday."  
  
"As do I." Trowa replied, casting his gaze downward.  
  
Relena noticed his sad expression. "Are you okay?" She asked, seeing that something was wrong.  
  
"It's Quatre." He replied, although he seemed reluctant to talk.  
  
Relena placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sally told me he wasn't doing well."  
  
"He can't take all the pain. He's sensing too much suffering. Every day he just gets worse, weaker, because this whole mess is just wearing him down." Trowa said, still keeping his eyes on the floor.  
  
"Why don't you take him away from here? I'm sure that would help."  
  
Trowa looked up at her. "I can't leave Duo. I'm the only one who knows his secrets. What if he wants to talk and I'm not here? He might do something drastic."  
  
"I see your point." Relena agreed. "But if Quatre's health keeps getting worse, he'll have to be taken from here."  
  
"I know he can't stay. But I can't leave Duo. I just don't know what to do." Trowa whispered.  
  
Relena could see his pain. It must be so hard for him to admit this, that he was torn between the man he loved and the friend that needed his help. "I'm sure you'll come to a decision when you have to." Relena said.  
  
Trowa stepped past her, her hand falling from his shoulder as he moved. "Thank you, Relena." He said, his back to her, as he opened the door.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being kind enough to listen to my problems." He said as he stepped into Duo's room and closed the door behind him, not giving Relena a chance to reply.  
  
Relena left the safe house, satisfied that she had done all she had come to do. She had talked to Heero and Duo. And that was all she had truly come to do. The fact that Trowa had spoken with her was just an added bonus. There was nothing else remaining, so she left, knowing that Duo and the other pilots would have to get through this on their own.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Trowa opened his eyes to the strange sounds disturbing his sleep. He turned his head, looking at the angel that slept beside him. Quatre was tossing and turning in his sleep, like every night for the past week. Trowa was concerned. It was obvious that this whole mess was affecting Quatre. His health was getting worse and worse.   
  
Abruptly, Quatre sat up and began talking in his sleep. "Heero, he needs you now, more than ever, and you're just turning your back on him."   
  
Trowa's heart wrenched, hearing that even in his sleep Quatre found no peace. The blonde was still worried about Duo and Heero. As Trowa watched, his angel laid back down, his body shivering as he whimpered in his sleep.  
  
Trowa wrapped his arms around Quatre, holding tightly, wishing he could take the pain away from him. He hated seeing Quatre like this. Slowly, Quatre's whimpers faded, and Trowa drifted off to sleep.  
  
In the morning when Trowa awoke again, Quatre was no better. Trowa got dressed and returned to stand by the bed. Quatre hadn't gotten up. He was awake, but still remained in bed. He just hadn't been able to dredge up enough strength to get out of bed that morning.  
  
Trowa sat on the edge of the bed, looking worriedly at his love. Poor Quatre. His face was so pale, a sheen of sweat covering his skin. His breaths were ragged, and not coming to him easily.   
  
He was sick, and Trowa knew that it was because of the emotions going on in the safe house. This was just tearing Quatre up inside, all the pain and self-hatred from Duo, all the shame and guilt from Heero, the sadness from the others. Even Trowa's torn emotions, the way he wished he could tell Quatre the secret he knew but not wanting to betray Duo, were a burden to the young blonde. Quatre was just overloaded by all the pain surrounding him.  
  
Trowa had offered to sleep in another room, to spare Quatre some of the pain. But Quatre wouldn't hear of it. He refused, saying that he didn't want to be alone, that he didn't care if he felt Trowa's pain or not, as long as he wasn't alone. So Trowa stayed, wishing that he could tell Quatre the secret he knew to get rid of the torment in his own heart. But he couldn't betray Duo, even though Quatre suffered because of his silence.  
  
Trowa laid his hand against Quatre's cheek, wishing he could do something. He hated seeing his love like this. Trowa couldn't just sit by and let this happen. But he didn't know what to do.   
  
Quatre looked up at him, his eyes reflecting sadness. "Do me a favor?" Quatre asked, weakly.  
  
"Anything." Trowa replied, knowing that whatever Quatre wanted he'd do.  
  
"Talk to Duo. Get him to talk to someone, anyone. He needs to let it out, it's killing him." Quatre said.  
  
Trowa nodded, overcome with worry for his angel. Quatre wasn't doing well. If his health continued to deteriorate like this, they'd have to take him away from there. He couldn't be allowed to suffer like he was.  
  
Trowa stood, reluctantly leaving Quatre's side. He had to do this, had to talk to Duo, no matter how much he wanted to stay by his angel's side.   
  
He went to Duo's room, not bothering to knock. He just walked in. Trowa was angry, not at Duo really, but because he was just so frustrated at not being able to tell Quatre the secret he knew. He couldn't stand to see Quatre in so much pain.  
  
Wufei was sitting in a chair near the door, reading a book. It was his turn to watch over Duo. He looked up at Trowa, then glanced at his watch. "It isn't your turn yet, not for a few hours." Wufei said.  
  
"I need to talk to him. Alone." Trowa replied, keeping his eyes locked on Duo.  
  
"If you insist." Wufei sighed as he stood. He left the room without another word, leaving his book on the chair.  
  
When Trowa heard the door close shut, he walked over to Duo's bedside. "We need to talk." Trowa said, trying to keep himself under control.  
  
"What about?" Duo asked, pushing himself up to a sitting position. He winced as he moved, but didn't make a noise at the pain he was obviously in.  
  
"Duo, I'm sorry, but I can't take this anymore! You're keeping all this to yourself and it's killing Quatre!"  
  
"What?" Duo gasped. "What's wrong with Quatre?"  
  
"He feels your pain. Have you forgotten about his empathic abilities? He can't take it, the secrets I'm keeping from him, the sadness he gets from everyone in the house. He's sick, very sick. He's too weak to even get out of bed." Trowa replied, his heart aching with worry.  
  
Duo averted his gaze, "I didn't know." He whispered.  
  
Trowa took in a breath, and exhaled slowly, knowing that he had to say this. "You're my friend, Duo, but I won't forgive you if he gets any worse. Now, either you tell Heero what happened, or I'll do it for you!"  
  
"I can't!" Duo nearly yelled. Then he lowered his voice. "What if it causes him to hate me more than he already does?"  
  
Trowa couldn't believe this. How could Duo think that? Trowa's voice nearly came out as a growl as he spoke. "Who do you think kept searching for you even after the rest of us gave up? Who do you think is on the Internet during every waking moment trying to find out who Carl is? I don't know how, but he knows something about what happened. If Heero hates anyone at the moment . . . he hates himself."  
  
Duo let out a sarcastic chuckle, then spoke, "Yeah, right. That explains why he wasn't here when Sally was operating on me! If he cared . . ."  
  
Trowa couldn't listen to that. Duo didn't know the whole truth. Trowa grabbed Duo's shoulders, not caring if he hurt him. Duo had to understand. "Heero wasn't in here with us because Sally had to tranquilize him to prevent him from going out and doing something stupid while he wasn't thinking straight."  
  
Trowa paused, taking in a deep breath. He saw Duo's confused expression and the way his eyes were clouded with fear, and took his hands away. He knew he shouldn't have touched him, Duo was still afraid of being hurt.   
  
But Trowa continued to speak. "I've seen a lot of things in my life, Duo. But that night when we got here, was the first time I have ever seen Heero so upset that he couldn't breathe right. I bet if he walked in right now, you wouldn't even know it was him. Just talk to him. If not for your sake, then for his . . . Or at the very least for Quatre's. He can't take much more of this."  
  
Trowa turned and walked back to the door. As he opened it, he heard Duo say, "I don't know if I can. He hates me."  
  
Trowa paused, his hand on the doorknob. He closed his eyes a moment, then opened them again as he spoke. "Either you tell Heero, or I will. He might surprise you." He left, closing the door behind him.  
  
Wufei was standing in the hall, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. "Done with your little talk?" Wufei asked.  
  
Trowa didn't like his bored tone. Of course, that might be because he wasn't in the best of moods. "Yeah. I'm done." Trowa replied.  
  
Wufei passed him and went back into Duo's room, as Trowa went back to his own. Trowa sat on the edge of the bed, just watching Quatre as the blonde slept, hoping that Duo would be able to talk to Heero. Maybe if they talked, some of the pain Quatre sensed would be alleviated. But if Quatre wasn't better by morning, he and Trowa were leaving. They had to. Trowa couldn't just sit by and let Quatre suffer like this.  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Heero pushed his chair away from the desk, and rubbed his tired eyes. He wouldn't go to sleep, couldn't sleep until that Carl bastard was found and punished.  
  
He stood, and left his room. Outside in the hallway, he stared at the door across from his. It was Duo's room. Every night he did this. Every night he went to Duo's room and watched him. Why should this night be different?  
  
He opened the door and silently crept in. He stood in the darkness, letting his eyes adjust. And soon, he could see Duo.  
  
The long-haired pilot slept, but not peacefully. In his arms, Duo tightly clutched the stuffed bear that Heero had given to Relena. Must be what she brought him, Heero thought. He looked to be in such pain, plagued by nightmares, holding on to the bear as if it were the only thing stopping the dreams from becoming real.  
  
He just stood there and watched as Duo tossed and turned in his sleep. This was his fault. Why was he such a coward? Why hadn't he told Duo how he felt? The questions circled his mind constantly, never giving him a moment of peace.  
  
Suddenly, Duo's eyes shot open, and he sat straight up, groaning in pain since he moved so quickly. His eyes, already adjusted to the darkness, locked onto Heero.  
  
"Heero?" He asked, as if unsure of who it was.  
  
Heero didn't say anything. What could he say? He turned and left, not wanting to burden Duo with his presence.  
  
He walked back to his own room, and went back to his laptop, not bothering to turn on the lights. It didn't matter. He didn't need them on.  
  
But after a few minutes of typing, he couldn't take it anymore. He tried to push the frustration away. After days of searching, he hadn't found anything. Not one solid lead on who Carl was. He had hacked into police records, had done background checks, Internet searches, and still nothing.  
  
Tears came to his eyes, but he couldn't keep them away this time. He was so incompetent. He wasn't even able to help Duo by killing that bastard that had hurt him. He couldn't even find this Carl person.  
  
He stood quickly, the chair flipping over at his sudden movement. In a fit of rage, Heero grabbed his laptop and threw it across the room. It hit the wall hard, several keys flying off at the loud impact.  
  
Heero slumped to the floor, his tears falling freely now. He felt like such a weakling. A soldier shouldn't cry, shouldn't be vulnerable. But he couldn't stop it. He just couldn't hold them in any longer. He was so tired, so he just let them fall, wishing that he had been a stronger person all those months ago.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Duo was shocked to see Heero. He was also scared, afraid that Heero had come to hurt him. But before he could say anything, Heero left the room.  
  
Well, Duo knew that he had to find out why Heero had been in his room. He got out of bed, moving slowly so that he wouldn't aggravate his wounds too much. His legs almost gave out from underneath him, he was so unused to walking. He had spent too much time in bed. He was still going through withdrawal, although now the worst was over.  
  
Duo stumbled across the room, hoping he would make it to Heero's room. He was already nearly out of breath, his body sweating. As he moved, he clutched his stomach, his ribs paining him with every step he took.  
  
Outside Heero's door, he stared at it for a moment, not sure if he was ready to go in. How could he tell Heero what had happened to him? How would he be able to take it if Heero hated him even more?  
  
A loud crash startled him and he grabbed the doorknob, feeling worried. As he stepped into the room, he flipped on the light switch, not even realizing he had done it until the lights came on.  
  
The sight before him, shocked him. Heero was kneeling on the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks. There were papers lying all over the floor around him. Police reports, background checks. A chair was overturned and a completely smashed laptop lay on the floor beside one of the walls.  
  
"Heero?" He whispered.  
  
"I'm so sorry Duo. I should have gone after you. This never would have happened if I had stopped you. You wouldn't be hurt . . ." Heero said, turning his head away from Duo. His words drifted off as his body shook.  
  
Duo couldn't believe his eyes or ears. Heero Yuy was actually crying and apologizing. This was so unlike Heero. But Heero shouldn't be the one apologizing. Duo should.   
  
He walked over and knelt down next to Heero. But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to touch him. He was still so scared. "No, I should apologize. I should never have told you how I felt. I should have known you didn't love me." Duo said, his own tears threatening to come forward.  
  
Heero turned to him, and that terrible fear overwhelmed Duo again. Maybe Heero was angry with him, maybe he would hit him. He shrank back, his body trembling under Heero's gaze.  
  
Heero grasped his shoulders, gently. "Duo, don't you dare blame yourself for being honest. You should always follow your feelings."  
  
Duo looked up, looking into Heero's eyes for the first time since he had awakened that night he had arrived at the safe house. He saw compassion in those Prussian blue orbs, he saw sadness.   
  
He threw his arms around Heero, unable to stop himself. He just wanted to be held, wanted to stop being afraid of human contact. Duo let himself cry onto Heero, hoping that Heero wouldn't push him away, that he wouldn't be angry with this show of weakness.  
  
Heero didn't push him away. He slowly wrapped his arms around Duo, holding him gently. After sitting that way for a few minutes, Heero stood, helping Duo up along with him.  
  
Duo pulled away from him, worried. Heero just looked at him, his face showing remnants of the tears he had shed. "You need rest." Heero said.  
  
But Duo could see the circles around his eyes, the paleness of his skin. "I think you need it more than I do." He replied.  
  
"I'll help you back to your room." Heero said, wrapping his arm around Duo's waist.  
  
Duo pushed his hand away. "No. I don't want to be alone anymore."   
  
"What are you saying?"   
  
Duo could feel the tears again, the fear that still taunted him, saying that Heero would push him away. "Please, let me stay here tonight?" He pleaded.  
  
Heero nodded, then led Duo over to his bed. As they lay down together, Heero carefully wrapped his arms around Duo, as if he were afraid of hurting him. Duo couldn't help but sigh, being in the place he had dreamed of for so long, wrapped in Heero's arms.  
  
"And here I thought you hated me." Duo mumbled, as he lay his head against Heero's chest.  
  
"I can't hate you. I could never hate you." Heero yawned, as his obvious exhaustion overtook him. "I love you too much to hate you."  
  
Duo blinked, not believing what he had heard. "Heero?"  
  
The only reply he got was a light snore, as Heero snuggled closer to him, enveloping Duo in his strong arms.  
  
Duo pushed his hopes aside. Heero had been nearly asleep when he said that. He didn't love him, it was the exhaustion talking. If he had been wide awake, Heero never would have said that.  
  
Duo closed his eyes, and let himself drift off to sleep, listening to the sounds of Heero's breathing and the beating of his heart. Even if Heero didn't love him, he would treasure this night as the only night he was allowed to get this close to Heero, to be so close to the man he loved.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
There's still more to come. Please Review.   



	9. Part Nine

Disclaimers: I don't own anything.  
  
Author's notes: I Don't really know what to say. Um . . . Takes place the morning after Duo and Heero shared Heero's bed. Directly after the last part.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 9  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Duo opened his eyes, wondering where he was. This wasn't his room, he thought. Then he saw Heero, his arms still draped around Duo, holding him gently. Everything came flooding back to him, waking up last night to find Heero standing in his room, then following Heero back to his own room, only to find Heero crying.  
  
Duo carefully writhed out of Heero's arms, leaving behind the warmth of Heero's body for the coldness of the room. His body ached terribly since the painkillers had worn off. He glanced back at Heero and saw that he still slept peacefully, his arms laying on the bed in front of his great body. It was so tempting a sight, Heero's arms seeming to be beckoning him back, making Duo want to just crawl back into that bed and feel the warmth of Heero's body against his own once again.   
  
But he knew he couldn't. He had to leave, had to get out before Heero woke up. Duo wouldn't be able to stand it if he was faced with Heero's beautiful face, knowing that Heero didn't love him. He couldn't bear to look into those eyes and not see love reflected in them.  
  
He turned away and took a step toward the door. He nearly fell, as a sharp pain surged through his body. He clutched his stomach, as he clenched his teeth, not wanting to awaken the other pilot. Heero obviously needed the sleep, he had been so exhausted last night. So exhausted that he had said something he hadn't meant.  
  
It was hard to keep from making a sound as his ribs throbbed in pain, but somehow he succeeded in keeping his cries in. After a moment, Duo took another step toward the door, but was stopped as a hand grasped his arm. He closed his eyes, knowing that Heero was awake, standing beside him.  
  
Duo had to force away the terror that crept into his mind. He couldn't let the fear take over. Duo knew Heero wouldn't hurt him, knew that for sure after last night, after how kind Heero had been, letting him stay in his arms all night.  
  
He turned, although he couldn't get his eyes to look into Heero's. He couldn't bear to see their beauty and know that he didn't love him.  
  
"I meant what I said last night." Heero said.  
  
At that, Duo did look up into those captivating eyes, hope seeping into his heart once again. But still the fear lingered. "What?" He asked, holding his breath without knowing he was doing it.  
  
Heero paused. "I love you, Duo. I was just too scared to tell you before."  
  
Duo nearly fell over, hearing that coming from Heero's lips. He never thought he would ever hear those words. But his worry remained, as Heero broke eye contact and turned away.  
  
"I don't expect you to forgive me Duo. I know you can't possibly love me now. After all, look at all the pain you went through because of my cowardice?" Heero said, letting go of Duo's arm.  
  
Duo just stood there, his eyes welling up with tears. Heero blamed himself, just like Trowa had told him he did. Duo didn't want that, couldn't let Heero continue to blame himself.  
  
He threw his arms around Heero, squeezing as tightly as he could. The pain from his aching ribs was terrible, but he didn't let go. No matter how much it hurt his own body, he had to ease Heero's pain. "I never stopped loving you. Not for one moment." Duo whispered, speaking through the veil of pain, his tears falling from his eyes.  
  
To his relief and happiness, Heero slowly returned the hug, gently wrapping his arms around Duo's trembling body. He smiled, a real smile, for the first time in so long. He couldn't remember the last time he had really smiled. But it didn't matter now. He finally had what he had always wanted. Heero loved him.  
  
When Heero pulled away, Duo became worried again. He looked up into Heero's eyes, and saw love in them. He smiled again and Heero smiled back, even if it was only the slightest of smirks. It was still a wonderful sight to him.  
  
Heero hooked a finger under Duo's chin, tilting his head to one side ever so slightly. He leaned forward, tenderly pressing his lips against Duo's in a gentle kiss. Duo's heart leapt, feeling the warmth of Heero's lips against his, even if it was only for a short time.  
  
"I won't rush you, Duo. I know you're not ready yet, but I'll wait for you." Heero said as he pulled away from Duo. "I'll wait an eternity if I have to."  
  
Heero once again, wrapped his arms around Duo, holding him against his warm body. Duo was happy, finally he was happy. Maybe now he could let go of the pain, let go of the fear. But he would need help, and he knew Heero would always be there for him. Now he knew, and all doubts of Heero's feelings were gone from his mind.  
  
Duo pulled away, hearing a strange grumbling sound. He looked at Heero, lifting an eyebrow. "How long has it been since you've eaten?" He asked.  
  
"It doesn't matter." Heero replied.  
  
Duo didn't like that answer. "Yes it does matter. How long?"  
  
Heero sighed, then answered. "A couple days, I guess."  
  
"Well then, we'll just have to get something for you to eat." Duo said, grabbing Heero's hand and pulling him toward the door.  
  
"You want to go downstairs?" Heero raised an eyebrow, looking at Duo with a confused expression on his face.  
  
"It is a shock, isn't it? But I guess it's time I start doing things again. Can't spend the rest of my life in bed, staring at a wall."  
  
As Duo turned, intending to leave the room, his legs gave out from underneath him. He would have fallen, but Heero caught him in his arms. It hurt, Heero's arms pressing against his sore body, but he didn't let himself cry out. He clenched his teeth shut against it, even though it hurt so much.  
  
"You okay?" Heero asked, as he pulled Duo back up, keeping his arms around him.  
  
"I'm fine." Duo groaned, trying to keep the pain out of his voice.  
  
"Yeah, right." Heero replied. "Maybe I'll just help you anyway."  
  
Duo appreciated the offer, but didn't let it show on his face. He let Heero help him, as they went downstairs. It hurt, just moving, but he wanted to make sure that Heero ate something.  
  
Duo could hear something from the kitchen, as they walked into the dining room. It was the sound of metal hitting metal, as a pot was put on the stove. Someone was already up, and making breakfast by the sound of it.  
  
As Heero helped Duo over to one of the chairs, Sally walked out of the kitchen. When she saw Duo and Heero, she dropped the bowl she had been carrying. It hit the ground, and broke.  
  
"What are you doing here?" She asked, her face showing her surprise to see the both of them there.  
  
"I thought I could use some breakfast." Duo replied, as he sat. "And I'm sure Heero could."  
  
Heero sat beside him. "I guess I could eat something." Heero grumbled.  
  
"What?" Sally gasped, as she was picking up the broken pieces of the bowl. "You both actually want to eat?"  
  
Duo nodded. "Yeah, why not. So, what's for breakfast?"  
  
Sally didn't answer right away, she still looked to be in total shock. Of course she had good reason to be. It had been so long since Duo had even left his bed, let alone his room, and obviously Heero hadn't been eating properly.  
  
Then, Sally smiled. "Oatmeal for the both of you. It's been so long since either of you have had anything substantial, I don't want you starting with something unhealthy."  
  
Duo grinned, slightly. He liked oatmeal, although he didn't know if he'd be able to eat much. Guess he'd find out soon.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Wufei walked down the hallway, wiping the sleep from his eyes. It was his turn to watch over Duo. He didn't know why he had to have the earliest shift. Actually, he did know. Now that Quatre was ill, he and Trowa had to spilt the shift the blonde used to take. So now Wufei had the morning and some of the afternoon, and Trowa had the rest of afternoon and evening. They both knew that Heero watched over Duo at night. Though, neither of them actually saw him either leave or enter Duo's room.   
  
Wufei opened the door and walked into the room, pausing in the doorway to stifle a yawn. When he looked at the bed, his eyes widened. Duo was gone. Wufei looked around, wondering where the American had gone to. But he didn't see any signs of him. Just a stuffed bear laying on the bed and nothing else.  
  
He turned and crossed the hall. He opened Heero's door and walked in, intending to ask if he knew anything. The room was a total mess. Papers, some crumpled others just tossed, covered the floor. An overturned chair lay on the floor, and a broken laptop was against the wall. But Wufei didn't see Heero.  
  
What the hell was going on, he wondered. What had happened here? Maybe Heero had taken Duo somewhere. But why? He couldn't even be in the same room with Duo when the American was conscious. And Duo wouldn't take Heero anywhere. He was still too afraid to get out of bed, the last time Wufei had seen him. What had Trowa said to Duo yesterday? Maybe that had something to do with where Duo and Heero were.  
  
He went back into the hallway. Wufei started going to Trowa and Quatre's room, but stopped himself. Quatre wasn't in good health. He didn't want to risk making Quatre's condition worse with his negative emotions. There was enough of that going around already. He didn't want to contribute to Quatre's suffering.  
  
Instead, Wufei walked down the stairs. He should tell Sally that Duo and Heero were gone. She always woke up before dawn, and was more than likely to be downstairs in the kitchen making breakfast for the pilots. Even though she wasn't a great cook, she insisted that they each eat something every morning.  
  
Wufei heard sounds coming from the dining room. He pulled his gun out, and took a deep breath exhaling slowly, thinking that whoever had taken Heero and Duo might be in there. He rushed into the room, his gun drawn, aiming at the first person he saw. To his surprise it was Sally, holding a pot of oatmeal in her hand and dishing some of it into a bowl in front of Heero. The distinct aroma of apples and cinnamon filled his nostrils.  
  
Duo, who had been sitting beside Heero looked up at Wufei. He cracked a small grin. "Her cooking isn't that bad, is it?" Duo asked, glancing back at the oatmeal in his own bowl.  
  
Wufei was in total shock. Had he missed something? How long had he been asleep? He hadn't seen Heero eat anything for days, and Duo just never left his bed. When had both of them decided to start eating again?  
  
Even though Wufei struggled against it, he couldn't help but smile as he lowered his weapon. "I've tasted better." Wufei replied.  
  
"Hey!" Sally retorted. "I take that personally."  
  
Wufei ignored her and walked over to the table. He sat across from Duo, watching as the long-haired pilot picked up the spoon and poked at his food. "I hate to admit it, but I am glad to see you up and around once again." Wufei said.  
  
Duo looked up at him, apparently shocked. "Did you just say something nice to me?" He asked, over dramatically. "What's next, actual compliments?"  
  
"Don't push your luck, Duo." Wufei replied, successfully stopping the grin that had threatened to spread across his face.  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Trowa rolled over on the bed, the sheets twisting around his body as he moved. He wasn't ready to awaken just yet. The bed was just too comfortable, too warm a nest to leave.  
  
His hand slid across the bed, searching out the body of the man he loved. But he felt nothing but the sheets beneath his hand. He snapped his eyes open, feeling suddenly worried about his love.   
  
Quatre wasn't there. Trowa sat up, and looked around the room, his heart racing with fear. He had never felt so scared in his life. Quatre was sick. Where could he be?  
  
To his relief, Trowa saw Quatre standing in front of one of the windows, gazing out at the scenery. There was something different about him, but Trowa couldn't put his finger on just what it was.  
  
He stood, and walked to Quatre's side. He laid his hand on the young blonde's shoulder. "Quatre?" He asked.  
  
Quatre sighed, as he continued to stare out the window. "Isn't it beautiful, Trowa? Isn't the sky beautiful today?" He asked.  
  
Trowa glanced out the window, looking up at the cloudless blue sky. "Yeah, Quatre. It's lovely."  
  
"I haven't looked at the sky for so long." Quatre said.  
  
Trowa's brow furrowed. Quatre was acting strange. "Are you sure you should be out of bed?" Trowa asked.  
  
Quatre finally turned to him. And now Trowa could see that his skin had gotten some of its color back. He looked a little better. "I feel much better."  
  
"But how?" Trowa gasped, laying his palm against Quatre's warm cheek.  
  
"Duo is better. I can feel it. His pain is not gone, but it has been lessened. And Heero doesn't feel as much hate for himself. It's a great relief to me, to feel things have gotten better." He answered, laying his own hand against the one Trowa had placed on his cheek.  
  
Trowa smiled, "You sure you're okay?"  
  
"I'm fine." Quatre whispered.  
  
Trowa didn't know if he truly believed him. He seemed better, but still, Quatre sounded as if he were out of breath. He looked tired.  
  
Quatre smiled. He looked as if he were about to say something, but before he could utter a sound, he slumped forward. Trowa caught him in his arms, holding him upright.  
  
"Maybe you should go back to bed." Trowa commented.  
  
"No, I want to go downstairs." Quatre replied, trying to pull away from Trowa's grasp.  
  
"But Quatre . . ."  
  
"No. I want to go downstairs." Quatre repeated. "I can sense happiness coming from down there. I want to see."  
  
Trowa gave in, not wanting to deny Quatre anything. "All right. But can we get dressed first? Or at least put on some robes or something?"  
  
Quatre nodded. Trowa helped Quatre over to a chair and left him to sit there, while he went to get dressed. He came back over to him, carrying a robe in his hand. There would be no point in getting Quatre completely dressed. He was only going to be downstairs for a few minutes, then he would be coming right back up and going back to bed.  
  
Trowa kept his arm wrapped around Quatre as they made their way down the stairs. As they neared the dining room, Trowa could hear the sounds of conversation. And if he wasn't mistaken, he heard Duo's voice.  
  
"I hate to admit it, but I am glad to see you up and around once again." Trowa heard Wufei say.  
  
"Did you just say something nice to me?" Duo asked, over dramatically. "What's next, actual compliments?"  
  
"Don't push your luck, Duo." Wufei replied.  
  
Trowa walked into the room at that moment, helping Quatre along the way. "Good morning." They both said, almost synchronized.  
  
"Quatre, should you really be walking around?" Sally asked, placing the pot of oatmeal on the table and walking over to pull out a chair for Quatre.  
  
"That's what I said. But he wouldn't listen." Trowa replied, as he helped Quatre over to the chair. He then sat beside him.  
  
"I feel fine." Quatre said, sounding out of breath.  
  
"Yes. I believe we can all see that." Wufei said, sarcastically.  
  
Trowa watched as a smile appeared on Quatre face's. But, he was still worried, fearing that maybe Quatre shouldn't have come downstairs. He still looked so tired.  
  
Sally set bowls in front of Quatre and Trowa, then dished up some oatmeal. Trowa looked down at it, smelling the apples and cinnamon. As he picked up his own spoon, he kept an eye on Quatre, watching as the blonde slowly ate. Well at least he was eating, Trowa thought, and that was good.  
  
He glanced down at the other end of the table. Both Sally and Wufei were eating normally. And why shouldn't they? They were both perfectly healthy. But Heero seemed distracted as he ate, watching Duo the entire time. Trowa looked at Duo, watching as he slowly lifted the spoon to his mouth, as if it weighed a ton. Eventually, he stopped eating and began stirring the remainder of his oatmeal around in its bowl. It was obvious he was done eating.  
  
Trowa turned his attention back to Quatre. The young blonde looked completely exhausted, his eyes halfway closed. He could just collapse at any moment. Trowa stood, knowing Quatre had to get back to bed.  
  
The others looked up at him, as he stepped over to Quatre's chair. He just picked Quatre up, not caring what they thought. He knew Quatre wouldn't be able to make it up all those stairs. He was still too weak.  
  
No one said anything as he left the dining room, cradling Quatre's body in his arms. He wouldn't have cared even if they had said something. His concern was only for Quatre at the moment.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Duo was done eating. He couldn't force any more oatmeal down his throat. He looked over at Heero. But it didn't look as if he even needed to say anything.  
  
The moment that Duo's eyes locked on Heero's, the other pilot stood and walked to Duo's side, helping him from the chair. "Guess you're done." Heero commented.  
  
Duo didn't reply. He just let Heero help him up the stairs. But when Heero reached out to open the door to his room, Duo stopped him.  
  
"I want to see Quatre." Duo said.   
  
He had to apologize, had to ask Quatre for forgiveness. When Quatre had walked into the dining room, he had seen how tired he looked, the paleness of his skin. He had seen how sick Quatre was, and it was all his fault. If he hadn't kept his emotions bottled up for so long, the Arabian wouldn't be so sick.  
  
"Why." Heero asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion.  
  
"I just have to talk to him." He looked over at Heero. "Please?"  
  
Heero nodded, and wrapped his arm around Duo's waist for support. Duo was tired, so tired. He had only been awake a short time, but it had been so long since he had done anything. The slightest amount of exercise exhausted him. His body ached, especially his ribs, and he just wanted to lie down. But he knew he had to apologize now or he would lose his nerve.  
  
Heero knocked on the door to Trowa and Quatre's room. Only moments later, Trowa answered, opening the door a crack. "What do you want?"  
  
"I need to talk to him." Duo replied, finding it hard to breathe.  
  
Trowa didn't reply. He just opened the door wider and stepped aside, letting Duo and Heero enter the room. Duo immediately walked over to Quatre's bedside, leaving Heero and Trowa standing near the door. He sat on the edge of the bed, eliciting a groan as a fresh wave of pain washed over him.  
  
"Duo, what are you doing here?" Quatre asked, his tired eyes gazing at Duo with confusion.  
  
"I'm sorry I caused you to get sick. I guess I shouldn't have kept everything bottled up." Duo replied, averting his gaze.  
  
"No, you were hurting. You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm just glad your pain has lessened." Quatre said.  
  
Duo turned back to him, and saw the Arabian smile. He couldn't help but smile back, although his smirk was tiny when compared to Quatre's.  
  
A pair of strong arms wrapped around him, and Duo could feel himself being lifted off the bed. "You've said what you came to say. Now you need rest." Heero said, carrying Duo over to the door. Trowa held it open as Heero passed through.  
  
"But I'm not tired." Duo lied, although he was completely exhausted. He didn't want to go back to sleep. Those nightmares would come back, and he didn't want that.  
  
"Don't lie." Heero replied. He opened the door to Duo's room and kicked it shut behind him. He carried Duo over to the bed and laid him down. "Why don't you want to go to sleep?"   
  
Duo felt embarrassed, and avoided meeting Heero's gaze. He unknowingly picked up the stuffed bear that Relena had given to him, and clutched it tightly against his chest. "Nightmares." He replied in a whisper, as if the very mention of the word would hurt him. "I'm afraid they'll come back when you're not here."  
  
"Who said I'm going anywhere?" Heero replied, climbing into the bed. He took the bear from Duo and placed it on the bedside table, then turned back to Duo, opening his arms.  
  
There wasn't much room, but that was okay. It only meant that they had to sleep closer together, and Duo didn't mind that. Heero was the only one he wasn't afraid of, the only one he was sure wouldn't hurt him. Even the other pilots scared him, although he couldn't really explain why.  
  
Duo wrapped his arms around Heero as he did the same to him. Maybe the dreams wouldn't come. They hadn't last night when he had slept in Heero's arms. He closed his eyes, hoping that Heero's presence would chase the nightmares away.  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
  
Duo slowly opened his eyes, his arms empty. A strange, but familiar sound echoed through the room. He sat up, holding his arm against his stomach in an attempt to alleviate the pain. He wondered what it was that he heard and where Heero had gone.  
  
His eyes focused, locking on a form sitting at a desk that was against one of the walls. Heero was typing on his laptop. Duo was confused. Hadn't that thing been completely smashed? He had thought he was free of that incessant typing sound. But now it was back.  
  
Duo smiled, remembering all the nights he had lain awake listening to the sounds of Heero typing. It had constantly annoyed him that Heero always seemed to be typing when he was trying to sleep. The clicking of the keys as Heero moved his fingers over the keyboard always irritated him. Those nights had usually ended in an argument between the two of them about which was more important, the missions or sleep.  
  
Duo reached behind him and grabbed one of his pillows. As hard as he could, he threw it at Heero, successfully stopping him from typing. It didn't hit Heero. Of course, Duo hadn't expected that it would. As it was flying through the air, Heero spun in his seat and caught it, seemingly without the least bit of effort. Duo was always amazed that Heero could do something like that.   
  
Another smile spread across his face as Heero turned to him, glaring. "I see you're feeling better." Heero said, his tone never changing.  
  
"I thought you smashed that thing against a wall." Duo said, pointing to the now beat-up laptop that sat on the desk.  
  
"I did. And then I fixed it." Heero replied, as he stood.   
  
He walked over to Duo's bed, fluffing the pillow as he crossed the room. He put the pillow right back on the bed behind Duo, not saying a word. Then he turned and walked back to the desk.  
  
"Hey, are you here to keep me company or to keep your laptop company?" Duo said as he climbed out of bed and crossed the room to stand behind Heero.  
  
Heero mumbled something in reply, but Duo didn't hear it. He had looked over Heero's shoulder, wondering what the other pilot found so interesting. His eyes locked on the name at the top of the screen. Seeing that name, Carl, filled him with fear again. Duo reached over and gently closed the laptop.   
  
"What? Duo?" Heero replied.  
  
"Heero, let it go." Duo said.  
  
Heero looked up at him. "But I can't just . . ."  
  
Duo interrupted, not needing to hear anymore. "Heero, please!" He blurted out. Then he lowered voice back to normal. "Because if you don't let it go, then I won't be able to . . . And I want to let it go, Heero."  
  
"But he can't get away with what he did to you. He has to be punished." Heero said as he stood, still arguing.  
  
Duo's body was shaking again, trembling like a leaf on a windy day. He couldn't stop it, couldn't control the tears that fell from his eyes. He just lost control of his body, remembering what Carl had done to his body, to his mind.  
  
"Heero . . . please . . . let it go." Duo begged, crumbling to his knees. In an instant Heero was beside him, his arms wrapped around Duo's quivering body. Duo continued to speak, talking as he sobbed onto Heero's shirt. "I'm asking you to please let it go. You love me . . . That's all I need."  
  
"All right, Duo. All right. I'll do whatever you want. I'll let it go if you want me to." Heero replied, not releasing his hold on Duo as he soothingly stroked his back, his fingers running through his loose hair. "But only under one condition."  
  
"What?" Duo asked, his voice shaky.  
  
"Tell me about your past. Let me know your secrets." Heero whispered quietly into his ear.  
  
Duo pulled away, looking into Heero's eyes, searching for any sign of deception. But all he saw was love, compassion. "Heero?" He gasped, not sure if he could tell him.   
  
Heero placed his hands on either side of Duo's head, framing his face. He was so close, Duo could feel his warm breath brushing against his skin. He looked straight into his eyes, piercing Duo's very soul with his gaze. "Duo, no matter what you tell me, I won't think any differently of you. I love you. Nothing you say will ever change that."  
  
Duo let out a shuddered breath as Heero took his hands away, knowing that Heero spoke the truth. He opened his mouth and let the words fall out, telling Heero about everything. He told Heero about being an orphan on the streets, the virus that swept through the colony killing his friend Solo, about Sister Helen and the Reverend, and the destruction of the Maxwell Church. He spoke of meeting Carl, and what the older man had done to his young body, of all the people that had used and abused him.   
  
He couldn't stop the words, as he spoke of the terror that had overwhelmed him when he was caught by Carl again. Duo told of how he had fought, how he had tried to resist, but in the end gave up, letting Carl control him again and get him addicted to drugs. And last he spoke of Jack, and how the little punk had been jealous of Duo's status as Carl's favorite and tried to kill him to get back into Carl's good graces.  
  
Duo was a shivering wreck by the time he had finished speaking, his words almost incoherent. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks. He looked up at Heero, who had never spoken once through all of it. He hoped that Heero hadn't been lying, that he still loved him even after what had happened to him.  
  
"Oh, God Duo. I'm so sorry." Heero gasped. "But it changes nothing. I still love you more than anything."  
  
At the sight of the few tears on Heero's cheeks, he was positive of the truth. Heero still loved him, didn't think any differently of him. He could still see the love in Heero's eyes, but behind that love, he could see the rage that burned like a white-hot flame. He knew that if Heero had the chance, he would kill both Carl and Jack in an instant.  
  
Heero opened his arms and Duo fell into his embrace, not bothering to stop the flow of emotions within him. He just wanted to put Carl behind him, to get on with his life with Heero.   
  
  
Chapter Six  
  
  
Heero looked at the laptop in front of him. He had stopped running searches for Carl, just like he had promised Duo a couple days ago. This was something different. Heero had just received a message, telling him that he had a new mission.  
  
He looked over his shoulder as the door opened and Duo walked into the room, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, the cast around his left arm wrapped in a plastic bag to keep it dry. He held a second towel in his hand and was trying to dry off his long chestnut hair as he closed the door behind him.  
  
Heero frowned, seeing the still healing surgery incision on Duo's abdomen, the fading bruises that covered his sleek body. He wanted to kill that little punk Jack for ever hurting Duo, and that bastard Carl for all the physical and emotional pain he had put Duo through.  
  
As he watched, Duo tore that plastic bag from around his arm. Duo walked over to his bed. That hospital bed was gone, had been for two days. The bed, that had originally been in the room, was once again in its place against one of the walls. Duo didn't need the hospital bed anymore. His health had continued to improve and he hadn't shown any signs of a relapse.  
  
Duo dropped the towel he had been using to dry his hair, and picked up his hairbrush from the bedside table. He began to run the brush through his hair, while Heero continued to watch him.  
  
"You're staring." Duo said, not looking at Heero, as he sat on the bed.  
  
"So?" Heero replied, rising from his seat.  
  
A small smile appeared on Duo's face. Heero missed those large grins Duo used to have on his face, the way he could brighten up a room with his laugh. But he knew it would take time for Duo to recover from what he had been through, so Heero was just happy that Duo was smiling at all.  
  
Duo continued brushing his hair, but he seemed to be having difficulty. His cast kept getting in his way. Finally, he just got frustrated. "Damn cast!" He yelled, throwing the hairbrush to the floor.  
  
Heero retrieved the brush, then sat beside Duo on the bed. "Turn." He said.  
  
Duo didn't argue, he just turned his back to him as Heero had requested. Heero pulled the long chestnut strands from over Duo's shoulder, laying it against his bare back. Then he ran the brush through his hair.  
  
His only thoughts were of Duo. How would he tell him that he was leaving, that he had to go on a mission? He didn't want to leave Duo, not when he was still recovering. What if Duo needed him and he wasn't there?  
  
"Ow." Duo exclaimed. "Careful."  
  
"Sorry." Heero replied. He should have been watching what he was doing, not worrying about how Duo would react to the mission.  
  
Soon, Heero finished brushing Duo's hair then braided it. Duo turned back to him, grabbing the braid and pulling it around so that he could look at it. "Nice job." Duo commented.  
  
Heero looked up at him, knowing that he had to tell Duo now. "Duo, I have to go."  
  
"Where?" Duo asked, a hint of fear seeping into his voice. "Why?"  
  
"I have a mission. There's a military base that needs to be destroyed." Heero replied.  
  
"I'm coming with you." Duo tried to get up, but Heero didn't let him. He grabbed his wrist, pulling him back down to the bed.  
  
"No. You're in no condition for battle. You'd only be putting yourself at risk I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything happened to you."  
  
Duo stared at him, a tear falling from his eye, as he spoke. "But you can't go alone."  
  
Heero brushed that tear away. "I won't be. Wufei and Trowa will be going with me. Quatre isn't strong enough yet, so he'll be staying here."  
  
"But I need you. What if I need to talk to you?" Duo said, lowering his head as if in shame.   
  
"If you need to talk to anyone, talk to Quatre. You know he'll listen." Heero replied.  
  
Duo wrapped his arms around Heero's waist, laying his head against his chest. "I'm afraid of being alone again." He whispered.  
  
Heero didn't like seeing Duo in pain. He stroked the back of his head. But no matter how much Heero wished he could stay, it just wasn't an option. The missions were too important. He had to go.  
  
"You're not alone. Not anymore. Even when I'm not physically here, I'll be with you." Heero replied. "Because I love you, and you know it."  
  
"I love you too." Duo replied.  
  
"And I won't be gone long. A day, maybe less." Heero said.  
  
Duo didn't say anything, so Heero just held him. They stayed there like that, Heero not wanting to let go until Duo was ready. Once this mission was over, he'd return, as quickly as possible. Duo still needed him  
  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
  
Duo sat at the dining room table, picking at the food on the plate in front of him. It wasn't that he couldn't eat it, he just wasn't hungry. That morning, Heero and the other pilots had left on a mission. Duo and Quatre hadn't gone. Quatre was still too weak, and Duo's health was still too poor.   
  
Duo wished he had been able to go on the mission with them. But Heero hadn't wanted him to get hurt, saying that he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if anything happened to Duo on the mission. So Duo had stayed, not wanting Heero to get upset.  
  
"I take it you're done eating?" Sally said, from her seat across the table. Quatre sat beside her, also picking at the food on his plate.  
  
"Yeah." Duo replied, pushing the plate away from him.  
  
He pulled his braid over his shoulder from behind him, and started playing with the ends of his hair. He was nervous, wondering if everything had gone as planned. But at least he knew he wouldn't have to wait much longer to find out how Heero was. They should be getting back in a few hours, at least that's the way it had been planned. Just a quick mission to destroy a military base.   
  
Of course, something could always go wrong. Heero could be killed in battle or he could just not want to come back. But Duo didn't want to think like that. He was trying to keep his spirits high, not letting himself fret about every little thing.  
  
"Don't worry, Duo. I'm sure they're fine." Quatre said.  
  
Duo just nodded, not wanting to get into this conversation. He wished he didn't feel so afraid, that the nagging fear would just leave him alone. It was silly. Heero loved him. He wouldn't abandon him. He'd come back.   
  
There was a knock at the front door, thankfully taking Quatre's attention away from Duo. "I'll get it." The Arabian said as he stood, groaning as he moved.  
  
"You sure?" Sally asked.  
  
"I can make it. Besides, I could probably use the exercise." Quatre replied, smiling.   
  
Duo watched as Quatre moved slowly out of the dining room, heading for the front door. The blonde was still quite weak, but at least he could walk around on his own once again. Duo was glad to see him getting better. He still blamed himself for causing Quatre's unhealthy state, even if Quatre had told him he had no need to feel sorry.  
  
There was a loud commotion, the sound of struggling, and both Duo and Sally rushed into the other room. Duo didn't move as fast, so Sally was able to get there ahead of him.  
  
The sight that met Duo, filled him with renewed terror. Carl was standing inside the house, right in front of the door. His hand was wrapped around Quatre's throat, while with his other hand he held a gun to the blonde's temple.   
  
Duo's heart raced in panic as he gasped, "Carl."  
  
He saw Quatre's eyes, filled with fear. If Quatre had been stronger, he might not have been in this situation. He could have gone on the mission, or fought Carl off. This was all Duo's fault. If he hadn't bottled up his emotions, Quatre wouldn't be so sick.  
  
Carl smiled, venomously. "Glad to see you're still alive, Duo." Carl said.  
  
"No thanks to you." Duo spat out, fighting the fear inside of him.  
  
"I know I was a little hasty, just turning you away like that when Jack hurt you the way he did. You always did earn me the most money. So many clients have been complaining about your absence."   
  
"Like I care." Duo retorted.   
  
"What do you want?" Sally said, stepping forward.  
  
Carl simply aimed his gun at her, and fired. She fell to the floor, clutching the fresh bleeding wound in her leg. Duo knelt beside her, and pushed her hand away from her leg. The wound didn't look too bad. She wouldn't die from it. But she also wouldn't be walking any time soon. Duo tore off one of his sleeves, and wrapped it tightly around her leg, trying to stop the bleeding.  
  
"Please. This is of no concern of yours. Stay out of it." Carl glared at Sally, once again aiming the muzzle of the gun at Quatre's head. Sally just groaned, keeping her mouth shut.  
  
Duo stood and turned back to face Carl again. "What do you want?" He asked, repeating Sally's question.  
  
"You, of course. Like I said, so many clients are anxious to see you again." He smiled again, and Duo shuddered at the thought of all those people touching him again, at all the pain that would come if he went back with Carl.  
  
"No." Duo said, his voice barely coming out as a whisper.   
  
Carl turned his attention to Quatre. He took his hand away from Quatre's throat, but kept the gun aimed at him. As Duo watched, Carl ran his fingers along the Arabian's cheek. Quatre closed his eyes tightly, his body shaking. Quatre looked so scared, as if he were afraid to even move. He just stood there, clenching his fists at his sides.  
  
"Well then." Carl said, moving his hand along Quatre's body, stopping at his hips. "Maybe I'll just take your friend here. Lovely. Soft skin, adorable looks."  
  
"Stop!" Duo yelled. The pained expression on Quatre's face, the way it was tightened with fear, only reminded him of his own pain, of all Carl had done to him.  
  
But Carl continued. "He could earn a lot of money for me." Carl leaned forward, and slid his tongue along one of Quatre's cheeks. "Just as I thought, tastes so sweet. I've got so many clients that would enjoy savoring something as delicious as him."  
  
"Stop it!" Duo repeated.  
  
Carl slid his hand around Quatre's waist, slipping his fingers underneath the waistband of his pants and causing a gasp to escape the blonde's lips. "Maybe I'll be the first to sample his body." He pulled Quatre's body back toward him, and Duo could see the panic on Quatre's face.   
  
Carl looked up at Duo, an evil gleam in his eye. "You remember your first time don't you, Duo. Picture that happening to this friend of yours. He looks too delicate to be able to survive like you have."  
  
Duo remembered. He couldn't forget. He was just a child, and the pain had been horrible. He had felt as if he were being torn in two with each thrust, and with each thrust Carl made it had only gotten worse. Duo couldn't let Quatre feel that pain, experience the agony of thinking you had become something disgusting. He wouldn't let Quatre be afraid of being touched by another human being like Duo had been, like he still was.  
  
Duo shook the memories off. "Leave him alone."  
  
"Only if you come with me." Carl replied. "Of course, your friend will have to come along. Wouldn't want you to get any ideas of escape."  
  
"Duo, no." Quatre said, opening his eyes, and finally speaking out for the first time.  
  
Obviously, that had been a mistake. Carl hit Quatre in the side of the head with the gun, knocking him unconscious. A trickle of blood seeped from the fresh wound in his head as he slumped forward. Carl caught him with his one arm, not taking his eyes from Duo.  
  
"How do I know you won't hurt him?" Duo asked, only concerned for his friend. Duo couldn't allow Quatre to suffer as he had. He wouldn't let him suffer like that, even if that meant going back to that hell he was terrified of. Carl could do all he wanted with Duo, as long as Quatre was safe.  
  
"You have my word. You just have to trust me." Carl smiled.  
  
"I don't." Duo replied.  
  
Carl's smile only widened. "You have no choice."  
  
Duo closed his eyes a moment. But his mind was already made up. There was no other way to save Quatre from the torment he knew so well. Duo couldn't fight Carl one on one. Carl was a stronger man than him, and Duo was still too weak.  
  
He walked over to Carl's side. "I have no choice." He whispered, bowing his head as he walked out of the safe house. Once outside, he noticed that Carl hadn't come alone. Several of his boys were there, one of them holding a syringe in his hands.  
  
Before Duo could ask, the young dark-haired boy, stuck the needle into his arm, injecting the liquid into him. The boy pulled the needle out, tossing it to the side. Duo's world quickly became fuzzy, and he fell into the arms of the dark-haired boy. Somewhere far off, as if it were miles away, he heard Carl laughing. And then there was nothing but darkness.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
I know, I'm a cruel person for ending it there. I apologize. Please, Review.  



	10. Part Ten

Disclaimers: I don't own anything.  
  
Author's notes: Here is another part of what some people have called an epic. I hope I'm still holding everyone's interest.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 10  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Heero and the other pilots arrived at the military base in their Gundams. It was just a simple mission. They had gotten information from a source telling them that a new military faction was growing, preparing to make a move. But for them to do anything, they needed mobile suits. And this base was getting ready to mass-produce the suits. Heero and the others were to prevent them from building any.   
  
"Something isn't right about this." Trowa commented over the communication system.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Heero asked, aiming his weapon at one of the buildings.   
  
Then Heero saw it, there were no people, no mobile suits, nothing. The place was completely empty. It looked to have been abandoned for a long time, maybe several years. What the hell was going on?  
  
"If this base is getting ready to mass produce mobile suits, shouldn't there be someone here guarding it?" Trowa replied.  
  
"I don't like having my time wasted." Wufei said, indignantly.   
  
"Who would go to the trouble of getting us here? And for what possible reason?" Heero asked out loud, although he hadn't meant to.   
  
"Why don't we find out?" Trowa answered.  
  
"Right." Heero replied. "Head back to base."  
  
Something nagged at the back of his mind, telling him that he should hurry. Something was definitely wrong, but he couldn't figure out exactly what it was. All he had was a feeling, a sense of dread. And he couldn't explain why he felt that way. Heero did know, however, that whoever had led them here and wasted his time, would answer to him.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Trowa paced behind Heero as he worked on his laptop. He glanced to his right and saw Wufei standing against the wall, his arms folded over his chest in a normal pose for the Chinese pilot. The three of them had only gotten back to the base a few minutes ago, and immediately Heero had gone to his laptop, checking to see who owned the base they were supposed to have destroyed.  
  
Something in him kept telling him that something was wrong, although he couldn't explain why. It was just a feeling, nothing substantial. Trowa shook his head, trying to push his nervousness away. It wouldn't do any good to get nervous now anyway.  
  
"Anything yet?" Trowa asked, peering over Heero's shoulder.  
  
Heero's hands flew over the keys as he spoke. "Yes. The property, and the building that stands on it, is owned by Tom Carlson. It was a factory manufacturing some unknown substance. There are no records detailing exactly what was made there, but the owner was arrested and the factory was closed down about ten years ago. After that, it seems as if Mr. Carlson just disappeared off the face of the Earth."  
  
Trowa thought for a moment, and then it hit him. Tom Carlson, Carl Thompson. The name of the owner of the building and the one of Duo's tormentor were too similar to just be a coincidence. If this was the same guy that had hurt Duo so badly, then this was just a set up to get them away from the safe house.  
  
"That son of a bitch!" Trowa shouted.  
  
Heero looked over his shoulder with a genuine expression of shock on his face. "What's wrong?" He asked.  
  
Trowa stared down at Heero, debating with himself whether he should say anything. But if Duo was in trouble, he had to. "The name, Tom Carlson. It's similar to the name of the man that hurt Duo. Carl Thompson. I just don't think it's a coincidence." Trowa said.  
  
Heero's eyes widened as the color drained from his face. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Look at the evidence. Ten years ago, Tom Carlson disappeared. He could have changed his name and moved up to the colonies, where, eventually, he first met Duo. That substance that he was manufacturing in his factory could have been the drug he got Duo hooked on." Trowa replied, hoping that he was wrong.  
  
Trowa watched as Heero's eyes narrowed. Heero abruptly stood, flipping over his chair. "That son of a bitch!" Heero shouted, repeating Trowa's comment.  
  
"If you two are finished discussing this, I believe we should hastily make our way back to the safe house." Wufei announced.  
  
Neither Trowa nor Heero replied. They all just left, running to the garage where they took one of the cars. Wufei drove, and it seemed as if the Chinese pilot was worried.   
  
Trowa was a wreck, wondering if anything had happened to Quatre. He just couldn't stop thinking about his blonde angel. Quatre was sick, his body weakened. If Carl showed up, Quatre wouldn't be able to defend himself. Of course he was also worried about Duo and Sally, but it was just that Quatre meant so much more to him. Quatre was his life, the only thing that kept him going from day to day. If it weren't for Quatre and the missions, Trowa would have given up long ago and ended it all. Quatre was the only reason Trowa had stayed alive for so long. Without him, Trowa would have no reason to continue, no reason other than the missions, and eventually they wouldn't matter to him anymore.   
  
He closed his eyes, hoping Quatre was okay. Silently, he prayed to a God he had never believed in, begging for the life of the one that kept him sane, for the life of the angel that kept him alive.   
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Wufei slammed on the breaks in front of the safe house. The three of them jumped out. Wufei hadn't even bothered to turn off the engine. There was no time. If Quatre and Duo were in danger, then they had to move quickly.  
  
The first thing he noticed, was that the front door of the house was wide open. Inwardly he fumed, angry that he had been fooled, that the mission had just been a trick. But he also worried for his friends. He would hate to see anything happen to any of them. Neither Duo or Quatre were at their peak physical condition. And Sally was just a woman, albeit a strong woman, but still a woman. She wouldn't be able to stop Carl if he showed up. Wufei was sure of that, even if he hadn't ever met Carl in person. By reputation alone, this man seemed to be very dangerous. The way that Carl had hurt Duo, a Gundam pilot, proved to Wufei that he wasn't mistaken about this man.  
  
As he entered the house, Wufei stopped short. Sally was sitting on the floor, her hands clutching her leg. Wufei could see the blood covering her hands and the cloth of her pants.   
  
He ran to her side, Trowa and Heero close behind him. Before he could ask anything, Heero spoke. "What happened? Where's Duo?"  
  
Sally looked up and grimaced, obviously in pain. "He took them." Sally answered.  
  
Wufei pulled her hands away from her leg, wanting to see the wound. He had to know if she needed any kind of treatment. But it looked as if someone had already tended to her wounds. A sleeve was wrapped around her leg, stopping the blood loss. Wufei remembered that Duo had been wearing a shirt like that before they had left that morning.   
  
"Who took them?" Heero nearly shouted.  
  
"Quatre too?" Trowa asked, slightly calmer than Heero, although his fear was apparent in his voice.  
  
"What happened?!" Heero demanded.  
  
Wufei looked over his shoulder at Heero. "Please calm down. I wouldn't want to have to sedate you." And he did mean that. If they were going to rescue Duo or even find where he was being held prisoner by Carl, they would need Heero's help.  
  
Heero didn't reply, only glared at him.  
  
Wufei turned back to Sally and placed his hand on her shoulder. "I think you better start from the beginning." He said, waiting patiently for her to begin talking.  
  
"We were eating dinner. The doorbell rang and Quatre went to answer it." She said, taking a deep breath and exhaling before she continued. "We heard a struggle and came out to see what had happened. And there was this guy with a gun to Quatre's head."  
  
"What was his name?" Heero interrupted.  
  
"I think Duo called him Carl." Sally said.  
  
Wufei heard as both Heero and Trowa gasped. But he didn't turn his attention to them. He was listening to Sally.  
  
"What happened after that?" Trowa asked.  
  
"He shot me when I asked what he wanted. I take it that he was the man that hurt Duo?"  
  
"Yes, he was." Heero replied quietly.  
  
"Well, he gave Duo a choice. Either Duo go with him willingly, or Quatre would take his place. Duo went with him. But that bastard took Quatre anyway, to keep Duo from attempting an escape." Sally said.  
  
"How are we going to find them?" Trowa asked.  
  
Wufei turned to him, and saw a single tear fall from the usually stoic pilot's eye. It was strange to see any emotion from either Heero or Trowa. It was quite unnerving to see them scared.  
  
Wufei knew he had to take control of this situation. Heero and Trowa were both too emotional to be able to think properly, and Sally was injured. Sure Wufei was angry too, at the fact that Sally had been hurt, his friends kidnapped, and that he had been fooled, but he kept his calm. He had to think of something quick before either of his fellow pilots decided to do something drastic, something foolish.  
  
"Trowa, why don't you look around outside for any clues? Maybe Carl left some trace that we can follow." Wufei said.  
  
"Yeah. Okay." Trowa answered quietly. He turned and walked to the door. Wufei was glad that he was staying calm. He didn't need both unemotional pilots to go off the deep end.  
  
"Heero, help me with Sally." Wufei said, turning his attention to the other pilot.  
  
Heero didn't move. Wufei could see the fear in his eyes, the worry. His mind was obviously preoccupied with thoughts of Duo. But Wufei couldn't blame him, it was plain to see that Heero cared deeply for the American. And he was so unused to his own emotions. No wonder he had trouble handling this.  
  
"Come on Heero. I do not believe the floor is the best place for Sally to recover." Wufei stated.  
  
Heero finally nodded, not saying a word. He stepped over to Sally and knelt down. Then he and Wufei lifted her, wrapping their arms around her to keep the weight off her injured leg.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Duo awakened on a cold hard floor. No, he thought, Good Lord not again. It hadn't been a dream, some terrible nightmare. It was real. He was back with Carl again.  
  
He pulled his legs closer to his body, the chain around his ankle scraping across the floor as he moved. His hair was loose, and tickling his bare back as it washed across his skin. He was cold, so very cold. His clothes were gone once again, and he lay there shivering. This was how it was before, when Carl had tried to bring him back into the business the first time. First there was the coldness of the room, then the pain began.   
  
Duo closed his eyes against the memories, not wanting to know that pain again. He couldn't allow Carl to turn him into that disgusting creature again, the creature that lived from job to job, having sex with whoever Carl told him to, only hanging on until his next fix of a drug that Carl made himself.   
  
If Carl offered him the option of drugs again, Duo wouldn't take it. No matter what Carl did to him, Duo had to hang on. Heero would come for him, he would save him. Somehow Heero would find him, come get him. Duo had to believe that, or else everything was over. If he gave in, he might as well be dead.  
  
"Finally, you're awake." Carl said, walking over to Duo's side.  
  
"Where's Quatre?" Duo asked, hoping Carl wasn't treating the young Arabian the same way as him.  
  
"Your friend?" Carl replied, kneeling beside Duo. "He's fine. For now."  
  
Duo forced himself to sit up, his arm throbbing in pain. He glanced down and noticed that his cast was gone. But he didn't give it a second thought. It really didn't matter.  
  
"Leave him alone." Duo sneered. He couldn't let anything happen to Quatre.  
  
Carl reached out, running his fingers along Duo's cheek. Duo quickly slapped that hand away, not wanting to be touched by that man. He backed away, trying to get away from the pain he knew Carl would inflict on him for that one small action.  
  
But Carl only smiled. "You really don't care for that friend of yours do you?" He asked. "You should really do what I say, unless you want that pretty young blonde to take your place."  
  
"If you touch him, I'll kill you." Duo replied, glaring as harshly as he could.  
  
"Yeah. I'm sure you will." Carl laughed, grabbing Duo's arm so quickly that Duo hadn't even seen him move. Maybe he was still a little out of it, but he hadn't known he was that bad.   
  
Unfortunately, the arm that Carl had grabbed, was the one that had been in a cast. Duo yelled out as Carl twisted his broken arm. Pain tore through him, pulsing up his arm in unbearably agonizing waves. White spots stole into his vision, making everything blurry. He struggled to breathe despite the horrible pain in his arm.   
  
"Your friends can't help you Duo. No one can." Carl whispered into his ear. "By now, they've realized you're gone, but they can't do anything about it. Even if they find this place, by the time they get here we'll be long gone."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Duo asked, wishing Carl would just let his arm go. It hurt so much.  
  
Carl pulled away from him, still holding his incredibly sore arm in his strong grip. "You don't think I'd stay here, knowing who your friends are, do you?"   
  
Carl finally released his grasp. And Duo just sat there, cradling his throbbing arm close to his chest. He stared up as Carl continued to speak. "In just a few days, once you're broken in again, we're moving. New town, new name, same old jobs."  
  
Duo shuddered, trying to move as far back as he could. Even when he hit the cold stone wall behind him, he continued to back up, pressing himself as close to the stone as he could. The look in Carl's eyes terrified him, made him fear everything about this situation.  
  
Carl stood and backed away, moving swiftly to the door. Duo just watched as Carl left. He heard as the door was locked behind him. Then Duo fell to the ground, sobbing, knowing he might die there. He wouldn't let Carl control him again, couldn't let him.   
  
Still, Duo held on to his hope. He couldn't let Carl's words break him. Heero would come, he had to. Heero would come and save him from this hell he had been returned to.  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
  
Quatre sat there on the small mattress in the corner. It was all he had, not even a blanket or anything. A shackle was around his one ankle, chained to a bolt imbedded in the floor. But he was sure he had gotten more than Duo.   
  
Quatre felt an icy chill, although his own body was quite warm. His clothes were gone, but he didn't feel cold in the least. The room he was in was well heated. It had to be Duo that he was sensing. Duo must be freezing.  
  
A man was standing across from him, guarding the door. No, he wasn't a man, just a boy. He couldn't have been older than sixteen, but his eyes told Quatre that he had seen far more than he should have in his young life. His hair was short and dark, his body well built, but his eyes keep distracting Quatre. They were dark, far darker than they should be, as if his very soul was missing.  
  
Quatre lifted his hand to his forehead. His fingers came in contact with the wound on his head, the bump and gash caused when Carl had hit him with the gun. Dried blood still stuck to his head, since no one had bothered to clean his wound. And why should they? He was just an object to them, something to be used against Duo. Of course Carl could always change his mind and decide to start using Quatre like he was using Duo.  
  
"Where's Duo?" Quatre asked the young man in front of him. He had already asked this question three times, and still hadn't gotten an answer from the boy.  
  
The boy didn't move. He just continued to stare at Quatre, something sinister lurking behind his eyes. There was something about him that scared Quatre, something that couldn't be explained by words, just an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
  
"Why won't you answer me? Please, tell me where my friend is." Quatre pleaded, worry clouding his judgement. He knew that he should keep his emotions down, not let these people see how terrified he was.  
  
"Does it really matter?" The boy asked. "You can't help him."  
  
Quatre was about to reply, when suddenly an intense pain slammed into his chest and left arm. It was Duo he was sensing, Duo was in pain. He clutched his arm, trying to alleviate some of the pain he felt. It was horrible, like a throbbing ache that moved throughout his arm. But Quatre was sure that it was far worse for Duo. He fell to his side, pulling his legs close to his body as the pain filled his mind. Quatre screamed, before he was aware that he had even opened his mouth.  
  
Just as suddenly as it had hit him, the pain subsided. But a terrible gnawing fear took its place. He shivered, not able to stop himself. But even though he felt Duo's pain and fear, he also felt that glimmer of hope. Duo hadn't given up, and that was the only thing that was able to soothe Quatre somewhat.  
  
Quatre didn't know how long he could hold on, how long he could remain strong in this awful place. So many were suffering, so many in pain, and there was such hatred. Although his connection to his friends was stronger, the pain they felt almost like his own, he could sense so many others. This whole hotel was filled with suffering, and even as dull as it was to him, it was still almost too much to handle all at once.  
  
A short time later, the door to his room opened. It could have only been a few minutes, not much longer. A man walked in, and Quatre shuddered, recognizing him as the man that had come to the safe house. It was Carl.  
  
The boy, still standing near the door, turned to Carl and whispered something into the older man's ear. A smile spread across Carl's face, and inwardly Quatre felt as if a cold hand was gripping his heart. Terror entered his mind as the boy left, leaving Quatre and Carl alone in the small room.  
  
Quatre pushed himself up from the mattress, trying to get as far from Carl as he could. Carl only smiled at his futile actions, seemingly enjoying the way Quatre attempted to get away.  
  
He knelt in front of Quatre, reaching out and brushing his rough fingers across Quatre's cheek. Quatre shook with fear, not just his own, but Duo's as well. If it had just been his own fear, maybe he could have done something, but already he was being overwhelmed with the emotions surrounding him. Quatre couldn't move, couldn't breathe, as Carl ran his hand through his hair.  
  
"Amazing. Simply amazing. Seems I have an empath to play with." Carl smiled.  
  
"Leave me alone." Quatre whispered, barely able to even get those few words to leave his mouth. Who knew what Carl would do to him now that he knew that Quatre was an empath. He could do so many terrible things without ever touching him.  
  
"Oh, but I can't. You are going to help me break Duo back in. I think if he sees you suffering, he might give in more easily. After all the trouble I went to, trying to find him, I think I deserve to get him back."  
  
Quatre blinked, a thought occurring to him. "How did you find him?"  
  
Carl's grin only seemed to widen. "I have friends in very high places. Actually clients. And if they want what I provide, sometimes they have to give information, but not just to me though. One of them leaked a little bit of false information for me, leading those pilots away from the safe house just long enough so that I could get my favorite back."  
  
Carl's hand gripped his hair tight. Quatre winced at the slight pain of his scalp being stretched. It was nothing compared to what he felt in his heart, all the suffering of those people in the hotel.  
  
He pulled Quatre down by his hair, forcing him to lie back on the old mattress. Then he released his grip on Quatre's hair.   
  
"Now, let's see what we've got here." Carl said as he looked Quatre over, examining every inch of the Arabian's body. Quatre could sense Carl's emotions, the lust and greed. It was so revolting to him, so frightening.  
  
Quatre shuddered again, moving his hands in an attempt to cover himself somewhat, to preserve some shred of his dignity. But Carl just slapped his hands away. Quatre closed his eyes, clenching his fists at his sides, and hoping that Carl wouldn't do anything to him.  
  
His skin felt as if it were crawling under Carl's touch. Quatre hated it, the way Carl ran his hands over his skin. Carl's hands ran along his hips then dipped below his waist, and Quatre once again tried to move away. However, he didn't get too far. Carl straddled Quatre's body, his hands moving up to tightly grip Quatre's arms, pinning him down to the mattress. Quatre was thankful that this man was fully clothed. But, gasping for breath, he still feared what would happen next.  
  
Carl leaned over him, a smile still on his face, and harshly pressed his lips to Quatre's. He rammed his tongue into Quatre's mouth before he had a chance to close his teeth. Bile rose in Quatre's throat, and he had to force himself not to retch.   
  
If Quatre hadn't feared what would happen to both him and Duo, he would have bitten down on that disgusting tongue. But who knew what this bastard would do if Quatre took any action against him. So he just lay there, his body shivering, his mind screaming out in agony, as Carl roughly invaded his mouth with his tongue.  
  
  
Chapter Six  
  
  
Heero wandered through the halls in a daze. How could he have been fooled? Now because he had been so blind, Duo was in danger again. And not only Duo, but Quatre as well.  
  
He stopped, staring at the door to Duo's room. This was his fault, all his fault. He never should have left Duo's side. Duo had needed him and he had left him. He should have stayed.  
  
Heero opened the door and entered the silent room. He inhaled deeply, breathing in the lingering scent of the man he loved, Duo Maxwell. He walked over to the bed and sat. Grabbing the stuffed bear from the bedside table, he laid down.  
  
How could he forgive himself for this? How could Duo ever forgive him? Heero pulled the bear closer to him, wrapping his arms around it, wishing it was Duo that he was holding.   
  
For the first time in his life, Heero truly didn't know what to do. He was scared and he didn't know how to stop the fear. It surrounded him, invading every pore of his body. He felt as if he was drowning, with no hope of ever being able to pull himself from the dread that covered him. It hurt so much.  
  
He wished he could do something, anything. The others all had something to do. Wufei was getting a description of Carl from Sally. And Trowa was outside, looking for any clue, any sign, that might lead them to Carl. But not Heero, he was left with his thoughts, his doubts of ever getting Duo back.  
  
Heero closed his eyes against his tears, afraid of letting his emotions out. He whimpered as he once again tried to regain control of himself. He had to get a hold on his emotions. He could feel his body shaking, but he couldn't stop it.  
  
A hand gently touched Heero's skin for just a moment. Heero opened his eyes, to see Trowa standing beside the bed. His one visible eye hinted concern, but Heero was oblivious to it. He couldn't think straight, couldn't get a grip on his emotions.  
  
"Heero . . ." Trowa started to say.  
  
"Leave me alone." Heero replied, pressing his face deeper into the pillow beneath him. He didn't want to talk, didn't want any of this. All he wanted was to get Duo back.  
  
Trowa grabbed his shoulders, pulling Heero up and forcing him look at him. "Heero, you've got to let it out."  
  
"I can't." Heero whispered, not wanting to let his emotions out. All the pain and sadness, why couldn't he just be the way he was? Emotionless, happy.  
  
"Yes you can. Cry, damn you! If you don't let it out, you won't be of any use to us when we go to rescue Duo."  
  
"You found him?" Heero asked, looking at that one eye of Trowa's that wasn't covered by his massive bang.  
  
Trowa turned away for just a second, letting his hands fall away from Heero, but that was enough to tell Heero that Duo hadn't been found yet. "No, we haven't. But I did find a syringe outside on the ground. There were a couple fingerprints on it. Wufei lifted the prints and he's running them through his computer right now."  
  
Trowa's news didn't change anything. Heero wasn't any happier, wasn't any sadder. He just felt so horrible there was no way to make it worse. He buried his face in the pillow again, just wishing all the pain would go away.  
  
Trowa lifted him to a sitting position again, forcing Heero to look into his eyes. He spoke, his tone calm. "Heero, you've got to let it out. Duo will need you to be strong when we find him."  
  
The pressure in his heart continued to build as Trowa fixed his eyes on his. Heero opened his mouth to speak, but no words left his lips. Before he had even realized he had done it, he let out a tremendous wail. One so loud it echoed throughout the house. He wept out all his pain, all his sorrow in that one long wail. Tears streamed from his eyes, and as he sobbed he felt Trowa's strong arms wrap around him, holding him close.  
  
Heero wondered how Trowa could be so strong. Why hadn't Trowa shattered like he had? He had lost Quatre. Didn't Trowa love the blonde?  
  
Heero pushed those thoughts aside as he pulled away from Trowa. He felt so embarrassed, crying like that. He wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. He felt so weak, crying like a child.  
  
Trowa only smiled slightly. "Feel better?" he asked.  
  
"I guess." Heero replied, although he did feel relieved. Some of the pain was gone, but so much remained.  
  
"Why don't you get some sleep? I think you could use the rest." Trowa said, walking over to the door. "And I'm going to come back in a few minutes to make sure you did sleep." He added, turning back to glare at him with that one eye.  
  
Heero only nodded, not really having anything to say. He laid back down on the bed, once again wrapping his arms around the stuffed bear. For some reason it felt good to hold it, but he didn't know why. Maybe because it reminded him of Duo somewhat. He closed his eyes, letting sleep overtake him slowly.  
  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
  
Trowa shut the door behind him. Heero had needed to let out that cry, to let his emotions out for a change. He had locked them up for far too long.  
  
Now that he was out of that room, out of Heero's sight, Trowa leaned back against a wall, wrapping his arms around himself. He knew how Heero felt. Knew very well the pain of losing the one he loved, of fearing for his safety. Quatre, his angel, was in danger too. He was in just as much danger as Duo was, if not more. Carl wouldn't kill Duo, but Quatre could be used against him. He could be hurt badly.  
  
Trowa shuddered, thinking of his angel in the hands of the man that had hurt Duo so badly. His own tears dripped from his chin, fear filling his heart.   
  
If this had happened a year ago, even only a few months ago, Trowa would be handling this just as badly as Heero was. Trowa was just getting used to his own emotions, with Quatre's help. How patient Quatre had been with him, letting Trowa take his time. He had let Trowa move at his own pace, allowing him to open up to the love Quatre always showed him and begin to show his own love in return.   
  
It had taken a great deal of time for Trowa to trust Quatre so completely. At first he had feared that he wasn't good enough for the blonde, thought of himself as nothing. But Quatre had shown him that he was far more than he gave himself credit for.   
  
And in the end he had opened up to Quatre, allowing the Arabian to see the pain in his heart. He told him of everything he had gone through, of all the times he wished he had died because of what those mercenaries had done to his young body. If it hadn't been for Quatre, he would have killed himself months ago.   
  
"Was that Heero I heard?" Wufei asked, popping out of his room.  
  
"Yeah." Trowa said, placing his usually calm demeanor back into place. He had to stay strong if only for Quatre's sake.   
  
"It's about time he let that out." Wufei said, as he went back into his own room, not saying one more word.  
  
Trowa smiled, glad that he wasn't the only one to recognize the pain Heero was going through. His smile quickly vanished again, as his worry reentered his mind. They had to get Quatre back, had to find him and Duo before it was too late.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
This part would have been longer, but I didn't want to keep you waiting to find out what was happening to Duo and Quatre. I hope you enjoyed. Please, Review.  



	11. Part Eleven

Disclaimers: I still don't own anything.  
  
Author's notes: Here is another part. And this is a 1+2, and 3+4 shounen-ai story. If you do not like it, do not read it. There is suffering ahead, non-consensual sex, maybe some OOCness. Although hopefully you won't find them too out of character. Well, enjoy.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 11  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Duo shuddered, pushing himself to his knees with one arm. The other arm throbbed in pain. It hadn't stopped hurting since Carl had so roughly twisted the broken arm. He cradled his sore arm against his chest, shivering from the cold of the room. His body hurt, the painkillers he still had to take had worn off so long ago. But at least the pain wasn't too bad yet. But who knew how long it would be until Carl finally started breaking him in again. It was only a matter of time.  
  
Carl walked into the room, closing and locking the door behind him. It looked like the time had finally arrived. Carl was here, would start hurting him again.  
  
"Where's Quatre?" Duo asked, forcing away the terror that caused him to shudder in fear.  
  
"When are you going to stop worrying about that friend of yours? Does it really matter that much to you what happens to him?"  
  
"Leave him alone." Duo demanded. "Don't you dare touch him."  
  
"Oh, but I've already touched him." Carl replied, his eyes gleaming evilly.  
  
Duo's eyes widened in horror. "No. You didn't." He shook his head, not wanting to believe that anything had happened to Quatre.  
  
"It's not what you think." Carl smiled, kneeling in front if Duo. "I just took a taste, nothing more. If you don't cooperate though, I may have to sample him more . . . completely."  
  
"Keep your hands off him." Duo glared, too afraid to strike Carl, too afraid to move.  
  
Carl placed his hand on Duo's shoulder. "Come on, just give in. Then maybe I'll let that pretty friend of yours go."  
  
Duo slapped his hand away, not wanting Carl to touch his body, never wanting him to come that close to him ever again. "Never!" He sneered.  
  
"What, still holding onto a shred of hope?" Carl asked, not visibly upset in the least by Duo's action.   
  
Duo didn't answer. He just lowered his head, fixing his gaze on the floor.  
  
"Your friends will never come. Tomorrow evening at nightfall, we leave, whether you're broken in or not. Then I won't have to worry about them finding you ever again." Carl replied, once again laying his hand on Duo's shoulder.  
  
"Leave me alone." Duo whispered, trying to keep calm, not wanting to believe Carl's words. But in only one day they'd leave. How could Heero find him before it was too late? Duo shook his head. He had to keep hope. Heero would come for him, he knew that. He just had to hold on to that hope a little bit longer.  
  
Carl pulled something out of his pocket and Duo looked up, fear enveloping him once again. He saw what Carl held so carefully between his fingers. It was a syringe, topped with a plastic cap. Duo had no doubts as to what was inside of it. It was the drugs. True, it was a way out, but not a way Duo was willing to take again. He had to hang on, had to wait for Heero to come for him.  
  
"Just give in Duo. Say you'll be mine and I can end this pain for you." Carl said.  
  
Duo didn't speak. He pulled together all his courage, his anger taking control of him for just the briefest of moments, and spit in Carl's face. As soon as he had done it, he regretted it, knowing that this would hurt a lot. Carl would definitely retaliate and hurt him badly for this.  
  
Carl flinched as the spit hit his cheek. He calmly placed the syringe back into his pocket. "That was a mistake." Carl said as he wiped the wetness from his face.  
  
Duo cringed back, as Carl's eyes locked on his. There was a burning rage beneath the dark depths of those eyes. Duo knew this wasn't going to be good.  
  
In an instant, Carl began hitting him. Each blow to his body more painful than the last. Duo fell to his side as a fist connected with his skull. A sharp pain shot up his arm as he landed on his broken arm, but he kept his cries back. He wouldn't give Carl the satisfaction of hearing him cry out, not again.   
  
It didn't seem as if Carl was concerned about leaving bruises on his body like he had been before. He was just punching Duo, kicking him. Each strike would leave a bruise, a cut, a scratch. Somehow, each strike missed the surgical incision on his stomach, his healing broken ribs, as if Carl was missing on purpose. But none of that seemed to matter to Carl right now. He was just taking out his anger on Duo, leaving a permanent mark was the least of his concerns.   
  
Duo smiled despite the pain. He had gotten to Carl, had irritated him so much that he disregarded his own rules of never leaving marks on the body of his employees. Carl was always so concerned about the appearance of his boys and girls. But not today. And for that Duo smiled. Carl was nervous about being found by Heero and the others, about not getting Duo back into his employ.  
  
Even as Carl stopped beating him, and moved behind him, Duo smiled. Carl pushed into him, causing Duo to scream out in pain, but the smile returned. That little bit of anger he had caused Carl was enough for Duo, knowing that he had finally gotten on Carl's nerves enough to make him crack. And the smile remained, until Duo's eyes fluttered shut and he drifted into unconsciousness.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Quatre had been there for hours, the pain in his heart growing as he felt the agony Duo was going through. Carl had left Quatre alone, not doing anything more than putting that disgusting tongue of his in Quatre's mouth, running his hands along Quatre's body.   
  
Quatre shuddered, as more pain entered his heart. Carl was using Duo again, forcing him to do horrible things, hurting him. He didn't know how much longer he could take all of this. This was all already overwhelming him, Duo's pain, the lust and greed from Carl, the darkness he sensed from that dark-haired boy, and a deep sense of hatred directed toward Duo from someone somewhere in the hotel.   
  
Quatre sighed, staring up at the ceiling above him. He no longer had the strength to sit up, not that he really wanted to anyway. He was just so tired. It was all too much for Quatre. He could feel his own mind slipping away as the pain increased, as Duo's pain increased. Quatre's body was weak, his mind slowly drifting away. It was so hard to stay there in reality, to be around so much pain. But he held on, not wanting to leave Duo alone in so much agony.   
  
He felt the hot tears at the corners of his eyes, as a fresh wave of pain washed over him. Quatre clenched his eyes shut, bit into his lip to keep from screaming out. He knew that Duo was still being hurt, abused. And then the pain slipped away, as Quatre felt the darkness overtake Duo. Duo was unconscious, finally released from the agony Carl inflicted on him.  
  
Quatre opened his eyes, fixing them once again on the ceiling above him. He could hardly keep his eyes open, could just barely stay awake. He turned his head, looking to the door as he heard it being unlocked. Only moments later, the door opened and Carl walked in.  
  
If only Quatre had some strength left, he would have tried to move away, would have tried to get as far away from Carl as he possibly could. But he didn't have any strength left. Not one little bit. He just lay there as Carl walked over to him, as Carl knelt beside the mattress. There was nothing else he could do, his body was so weak, so tired.  
  
Carl brushed Quatre's bangs away from his face. "You don't look too good." Carl commented, his voice showing no hint of emotion.  
  
"What have you done to Duo?" Quatre asked, his only concern for his friend. He knew Duo was hurt, that Carl had caused him a great deal of pain.  
  
"Sshh." Carl hushed, laying his fingertips against Quatre's lips.  
  
Quatre could feel himself trembling. He wished he could do something to control the fear, to stop himself from shaking in terror. But it was no use, he was just too tired to fight it. Quatre let out a whimper as Carl moved his hand away and let his gaze travel over Quatre's body. He hated this, not being able to do anything, too weak to move away, too tired to try and cover himself.  
  
Carl grabbed Quatre's wrist and lifted it off the mattress. "Let's see how long you can keep your hand up." Carl said. Then he released his hold on Quatre's wrist.  
  
Quatre held his arm up for as long as he could. However, after only a few seconds his hand began to shake. It was getting more and more difficult to keep it up. In less than a minute, his arm fell back down to the mattress. Quatre had kept his eyes on Carl the entire time, watching as the disgusting man beside him smiled at his weakness.  
  
"Doesn't look like you'll be with us too much longer." Carl commented.  
  
Quatre only sighed, afraid to say a word. Carl was right, Quatre didn't have much time left. It was so hard to sense all that pain, so difficult to keep his mind from drifting away as everything overwhelmed his senses and mind. It was just too much for him to take.  
  
"Guess we'll just have to make the best out of the time we have left." Carl said, once again smiling evilly.  
  
Carl's hands were on him again, running along his torso. Quatre's stomach twisted at the unwanted contact. As Carl slid his callused hands lower on Quatre's body, slowly approaching his hips, Quatre's eyes fluttered shut. He was so tired, so exhausted. But a harsh slap to his face brought him quickly back to consciousness. He snapped his eyes open, focusing them on Carl who had momentarily stopped his ministrations.  
  
"Did I say you could lose consciousness?" Carl asked, his sharp tone almost hurting Quatre as much as the stinging in his cheek.  
  
Quatre's eyes widened in horror as Carl divested himself of his clothes. He dug his hands into the mattress in a futile attempt to push himself back away from the now completely naked man that loomed over him.  
  
Carl laid his body across Quatre's, resting his full weight on his forearms. Quatre trembled, feeling Carl's body against his own. Carl was so close that Quatre could feel the man's hot breath on his cheek and throat. This was wrong, so wrong. Quatre only wanted Trowa's body to be where Carl's was, only wanted Trowa to know his body like this.   
  
"Relax." Carl said, spreading Quatre's legs with one of his knees. He reached down with one hand, rubbing it along the outside of one of Quatre's thighs. He then slid that hand across his leg, caressing the muscles on the inside of Quatre's thigh.  
  
"Please don't." Quatre whimpered, his heart pounding so hard inside of his chest that it felt as if it would burst.  
  
Carl seemingly ignored him, continuing to run his hand along Quatre's thigh. He leaned his head forward, looking straight into Quatre's eyes. "Now, my dear little empath, how much suffering do you feel from Duo? Is he close to cracking?" Carl asked.  
  
Quatre bit his lip, not wanting to help this man hurt Duo. He wouldn't betray Duo like that. He turned his gaze away from Carl's eyes, not able to continue seeing the darkness behind those eyes. He looked to the door, just needing to look at something, anything other than Carl's eyes. It was hurting him just being so close to the man, to sense all the lust and greed, the evil within him.  
  
"Not going to talk, huh?" Carl said, moving his hand further up Quatre's thigh. "I know this is painful for you, feeling all of these emotions, not only mine but Duo's as well. You can't hold on much longer." Carl whispered, speaking softly into Quatre's ear.  
  
"I'll never talk. Do what you want with me, I'll never betray Duo." Quatre answered, struggling to say each word. His voice sounded so weak, strained. "I'd rather die."  
  
Carl moved away from him, quickly pulling on his clothes. He glared down at Quatre. "You won't last much longer." He hissed. "Might as well use you to my advantage."  
  
Quatre watched as Carl left the room, locking the door behind him. He was glad that Carl had left him alone once again, relieved that the disgusting man hadn't gone too far with his body. He sighed, closing his eyes.   
  
"Hurry Trowa." Quatre whispered to the empty room. "I can't hold on much longer."  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Wufei walked through the hallway, just taking a break from the hours he had spent working on finding Duo and Quatre. His computer was still running a search on those fingerprints that had been lifted from the syringe Trowa had found outside.  
  
He stopped outside the door to what had been Duo's room. He opened the door, remembering that he had seen Trowa outside that room a few hours ago, only moments after he had heard Heero's wail.   
  
The door didn't make a sound as Wufei slowly opened it and peeked inside. Just as he thought, Heero was lying on Duo's bed, asleep. It was obvious that the pilot of the Wing Gundam had been crying, his eyes were red and puffy. He was clutching a stuffed bear in his arms. It was a strange sight indeed, seeing Heero holding a teddy bear.   
  
Wufei backed out of the room, silently closing the door as he moved back into the hallway. There was no need to awaken Heero. He needed all the rest he could get.   
  
As Wufei turned around, his eyes caught sight of Trowa's door. It was slightly ajar. Trowa never left his door open, so Wufei's curiosity got the better of him. He cautiously approached the door, not knowing what to expect. If he had seen Heero holding a teddy bear, anything could meet his eyes when he opened the door to the room Trowa and Quatre had shared.  
  
Wufei grimaced, seeing Trowa lying on the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around a pillow. He knew that Trowa was on Quatre's side of the bed, or at least the side Quatre had slept on when he had become ill. Wufei had visited the blonde once, although no one else knew. It would alter his reputation if any of the others found out that he spent his nights checking on the welfare of his fellow pilots, even if it had only been that one time.  
  
"Quatre . . ." Trowa whimpered in his sleep, a tear falling from one of his tightly closed eyes.   
  
Wufei could see that he too had been crying, more than that single tear that Wufei had just seen. He backed away, knowing that he shouldn't have intruded on Trowa's privacy. But as he shut the door, it creaked, awakening the other pilot.  
  
Trowa bolted straight up on the bed, his arms releasing their grips on the pillow he held. "Quatre?" He asked, not yet aware of his surroundings.   
  
Wufei watched as Trowa looked to the door, as if expecting to see Quatre standing there. But once his eyes focused, a genuine expression of heartache crossed his face for the shortest of moments, and he hung his head. "No," He said quietly, so low that Wufei almost hadn't heard it. "It wasn't just a horrible nightmare."  
  
Trowa looked up at Wufei again. "What are you doing here?" He asked, his face once more back to its usual stoic mask.  
  
"I am sorry for invading your privacy." Wufei said, bowing slightly to the other pilot.  
  
"That doesn't answer my question." Trowa replied. He got up off the bed and walked toward Wufei, wiping the remnants of his tears away with the back of his hand.  
  
Wufei sighed, knowing that he had to give an answer of some sort. "I saw that your door was open and I was concerned." He turned, intending to leave. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to work."  
  
"Did you find anything?" Trowa's wavering voice stopped Wufei in his tracks. He had never heard Trowa so upset before. This was really bothering him, he didn't like to see his comrades acting so strangely.  
  
Wufei kept his gaze on the wall across from him. "I am sorry. But I have not finished my searches yet." Wufei replied, once again taking a step into the hallway.  
  
He walked to his own room, not letting Trowa say anything else to him. Once his door was shut behind him, he leaned back. Everything was falling apart, all he had become accustomed to. Trowa and Heero were no longer silent and emotionless, of course he didn't mind that too much. It was unhealthy to bottle up your emotions for too long.   
  
But everything else . . . it was just wrong. Duo was in pain, quiet and suffering, nothing like the carefree, happy pilot Wufei had come to know over the years. And Quatre was ill, no longer as cheerful as he had once been. Wufei didn't like these changes, the ones that were for the worst.   
  
It pained him to know that his friends were in danger, that he might not be able to get to them in time to save them. If the search took too long, by the time they found Quatre, the blonde might be dead, his empathic abilities having left him too vulnerable to survive in Carl's clutches. And if they found Duo too late, even if he wasn't dead, he would most likely be once again hooked on drugs, more than likely broken beyond repair this time.  
  
A loud, incessant beeping pulled Wufei from his thoughts. He walked to his computer, know that was where the sound had emanated. On the screen, he saw that the search had finished. Lines of information filled his screen, along with a picture. "Nick Smith." Wufei read aloud, then added his own comment, "What a terribly phony name if I ever heard one."  
  
He glanced at the picture as he got his computer to print the information. Nick Smith was a handsome young man with short dark hair. He looked to be around sixteen, but Wufei knew that looks can be deceiving. His eyes were strange, grabbing Wufei's attention. It seemed as if something were missing, but Wufei couldn't put his finger on what it was.  
  
He shrugged it off and grabbed the printout. Right on top, on the very first page, was the picture of Nick Smith. He could use that, maybe show it around to find out if anyone knew him. By looking at the printout, he saw that each of Nick's arrests had been in the same general area almost every time. At least he had a place to start, maybe at this bar he saw listed several times. It looked like Nick had been arrested for starting bar fights many times in that establishment.  
  
Wufei left his room quickly, and walked downstairs, pulling on his coat as he waked to the door. He wasn't planning on telling either Trowa or Heero what he had found. Maybe it would be better if he went alone. Neither Heero nor Trowa were in any state to question this person. Either of them could do something rash, like kill Nick, before they were able to get any information out of him.  
  
He reached out to take the doorknob in his hand. But before he could reach it, Trowa called out to him. "Where are you going?" He asked.  
  
"I just have a few errands to run, nothing important." Wufei answered, stuffing the printout into one of his pockets.   
  
Trowa didn't seem to notice. He was obviously distracted, probably by thoughts of Quatre. Wufei just turned and left, not bothering to explain himself further. Trowa didn't need to know where he was going. Besides when he got back, he would have very good news, at least he hoped he would.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Wufei walked along the streets, pulling the collar of his coat tighter around his neck. There was a chill in the air, and Wufei really wasn't enjoying this stroll down the street. He was looking for someone, hopefully the man that would tell him where he could find Duo and Quatre.  
  
He looked up at the sign hanging over the street, reading the name aloud, "The Rusty Nail." Wufei looked at the building. The name seemed appropriate for this dive. It was rundown, with blacked out windows. The paint was peeling, graffiti covered the walls. It had probably seen better days, but not for a long time.   
  
Wufei sighed as he pushed the door open. There was a loud squeaking sound from the hinges that were in desperate need of oiling. He pulled the printout from his pocket, looking at the picture on the front page. He glanced around the barely lit bar, looking for anyone that resembled the picture. Not seeing him, Wufei walked to a person sitting at the bar, the only person that seemed to be aware of anything at the moment. Everyone else looked too drunk to be of any use to him.   
  
He looked the man over, trying to decide whether he might be a threat or not. He looked to be in his thirties, going bald. He was dressed in a crumpled, gray suit, the tie he wore hanging loose around his neck.   
  
Wufei held the picture in front of the man, "Have you seen this man around here lately?" He asked.  
  
The man said nothing. He just lifted the shot glass he held between his fingers and threw his head back, quickly swallowing the liquid.   
  
Wufei grimaced, watching the man in front of him. He did not like being here, not one little bit. Bars were not a place Wufei frequented, and this place was the worst he had ever seen. It smelled awful, something like cigarettes and beer, mixed with vomit. He practically had to force himself not to retch, just being in this place.  
  
He grabbed the collar of the man, pulling him around to face him. Wufei's patience had grown thin. He wanted answers now. "Have you seen this man?" Wufei demanded.  
  
"What's it to you?" The man replied, not drunk as Wufei had assumed him to be. By the odor his body produced, Wufei could tell he had been here for some time, although neither his speech or movements were in any way impaired by the alcohol he consumed.  
  
"Just answer the question." Wufei let go of the man, a strange feeling remaining on his hands. He wanted to rub them off on something, but looking around, he saw that if he wiped his palms off on something they would probably only get dirtier. "Have you seen him?" He asked, deciding not to risk touching anything in this place.  
  
The man held the picture between his fingers, looking carefully at it. "Yeah. I've seen him around. He's a prostitute, works for some guy in the city. He sometimes comes around here looking for new clients or new employees. Picks up the runaways, or the kids that just wander in here off the street. He's a real jerk, wouldn't give me a freebie." The man looked up at Wufei, "Hey, you're kind of cute, wanna hop in the sack?"  
  
Wufei took the picture out of his grip, completely disgusted by him. "Not even in your dreams."   
  
The man turned back to his drink. "Suit yourself." He shrugged, picking up another shot glass from the line in front of him.  
  
"Has he been around lately?" Wufei asked, knowing that he still needed information, and this was the only man in the bar that seemed capable of talking in an understandable voice.  
  
"He's in the back, testing out a new employee." He pointed to a door at the other end of the bar.  
  
Wufei frowned, not liking the sound of that. He pushed the printout back into his pocket, walking to the door. As he approached it, he could hear the unmistakable sounds of someone moaning in pleasure, along with the frightened, pain-filled cries of another person.  
  
He threw the door open, forcing his anger back as he looked upon the scene before him. In the storeroom of the bar, surrounded by cases of liquor, Nick Smith stood, pulling up the zipper of his pants. Lying on the floor at his feet was a boy. At first glance Wufei had thought it was Quatre, but then after blinking a few times, he noticed that this boy's eyes were violet and his hair a slightly darker shade than Quatre's. He was also younger than Quatre or any of the other pilots. Maybe somewhere around twelve, not much older.  
  
The boy shook as he cried, grabbing the tattered remnants of his clothing and hastily putting them on. It looked as if Nick had just ripped them from his body, they were so badly torn. Wufei could see the blood on the inside of the boy's thighs, could see the bruises on his face and body. It did not appear that the boy was a willing employee. Wufei couldn't help but feel sorry for this boy, and an urge to help the boy was quickly welling up inside of him.  
  
"If you want a turn, you'll have to pay." Nick said, bringing Wufei's blood to a boil.   
  
Wufei grabbed Nick, shoving him hard against the cases of liquor. Out of the corner of his eye, Wufei saw the blonde boy try to get up. He turned to him. "You stay there." He said, not bothering to keep his tone calm. The boy cowered back, making Wufei regret his harsh tone. But it was too late to do anything about that now. He had to get the information he needed out of Nick.  
  
"What are you doing?" Nick asked, grabbing Wufei's wrists and trying to push them away from his body. But he couldn't pry Wufei's grip away.  
  
"I just want some information." Wufei hissed, trying to keep his emotions hidden. If he didn't, he would end up killing this man. And he needed information. He couldn't risk Quatre and Duo's lives just to get revenge against this man for the pain he had caused the blonde haired boy, and an unknown amount of other children just like him. Not to mention the fact that Nick had helped kidnap both Quatre and Duo, so Wufei pushed his rage down, struggling against his instincts to deliver justice and kill Nick where he stood.  
  
"Information isn't cheap, my friend." Nick smiled. "However if you are short on cash, I'm sure we can think of some other way for you to pay me."  
  
Wufei punched him, disgusted completely. Did this man have any kindness within him, or was he just scum? "Tell me where to find your boss." Wufei said.  
  
"I don't know who you mean." Nick replied, not bothered in the least by the strike to his face.  
  
"Do not play dumb with me!" Wufei huffed. "I know you were at the safe house when Carl took Duo and Quatre. Your fingerprints were found at the scene."  
  
"Oh, well, why should I tell you anything?"  
  
"Because if you do not, I will have no alternative than to take you back to the safe house with me and let my friends deal with you. They are none too happy that you have taken the ones they care most for. My anger is nothing when compared to theirs." Wufei replied, taking his hands away from Nick.  
  
Nick raised his hands in mock surrender. "Then I guess I have no choice but to tell you. It's not as if I am fond of Carl myself anyway. You'll find them at the Imperial Hotel, only a few blocks from here. But you better hurry. Carl plans on moving by tomorrow evening. Or should I say this evening, it is almost dawn."  
  
Wufei backed away, not needing to talk with this man anymore. He had gotten all the information he had needed. With one swift kick to the head, Wufei was able to knock Nick unconscious. He went down a little easy, but at least now Wufei wouldn't have to worry about Nick warning Carl.  
  
Wufei turned his attention to the blonde haired boy. He still sat there on the floor, his arms wrapped tightly around his legs as he shook in terror. He stared up at Wufei, his violet eyes showing nothing but fear.  
  
Wufei held a hand out to the young man. The blonde just stared at him a moment, then hesitantly reached out and took the offered hand. Wufei helped him to stand. "What is your name?" He asked.  
  
"David." The boy said timidly.  
  
"Do you have any other name? Or is it just David?" Wufei asked.  
  
David's voice was starting to become less frightened. "No. Just David."  
  
"Well, then come along David. Allow me to take you home." Wufei said, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder.  
  
David pulled away. "I have no home." He looked down to Nick. "At least no home that I want to go to."  
  
Wufei knew he couldn't just leave the boy here. He probably needed medical attention, not to mention that Wufei would hate to see him end up like Duo, in so much pain, suffering alone. "Then I might as well take you to a safe place then. At least a place safer than this."  
  
David didn't say a word as Wufei escorted him out of the bar. They walked to the car that Wufei had waiting just a few blocks away. Wufei made sure that he kept his pace slow, knowing that even walking would probably be painful for David. Wufei had seen the bruises, not to mention the blood on David's thighs.   
  
As they walked, Wufei glanced over, and noticed that David was shivering. Quickly, he removed his coat and wrapped it around the blonde's shoulders. David offered a quiet, "Thank you." as he pulled the coat around his body. It didn't fit, was too loose, but at least it would offer him some warmth.  
  
Wufei opened the car door and closed it after David was inside. Wufei had heard him hiss in pain as he had sat, not doubting that the boy was in a great deal of pain. Then he quickly moved around and got into the driver's seat. Starting the engine, they began the drive back to the safe house.  
  
After about five minutes, David spoke, "Why are you helping me?"  
  
"You looked like you could use my assistance." Wufei answered, keeping his focus on the road in front of him.  
  
"But you don't know me. I'm not worth it. You should have just left me there." David replied.  
  
Wufei pulled over to the side of the road and slammed on the brakes, causing David to put his hands to the dashboard to keep his head from hitting it. Wufei switched off the engine and turned to him. "Never sell yourself so short. I do not know how you came to be in such a situation, but I am sure that you have some redeeming qualities."  
  
"Why do you care what happens to me? You don't know me." David said, confusion crossing his face, along with a hint of sadness.   
  
Wufei closed his eyes a moment, deciding he had to tell David something. He was obviously so unused to the idea of kindness that he didn't know why he deserved it. "You remind me of my friend, because of what was happening to you in that storeroom. I could not let you become like my friend, afraid, in pain." He sighed.   
  
"Who is this friend of yours? Where is he?" David asked.  
  
"His name is Duo. Nick's boss has kidnapped him along with another friend of mine. Who knows what he is doing to him now, probably the same treatment he showed Duo when he was a child. I do not know much, only what I have been able to piece together, but it seems as if Duo was hurt in so many ways when he was younger than you. And Quatre's health is even more of a concern to me." Wufei answered.  
  
"Quatre?" David asked.  
  
"My other friend that was kidnapped. He is an empath, which means he may not survive long enough for us to rescue him. Feeling pain from others wears down his health, and he was already ill before he was kidnapped." Wufei said.   
  
"So you were asking Nick where they were being held." David commented.  
  
Wufei smiled slightly. "Yes, and now that I know where they are, a rescue attempt can be made."  
  
"I hope your friends are okay." David said.  
  
"As do I." Wufei replied, starting the car once again. He pulled back out onto the street, continuing on the way to the safe house.   
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
Yes, I know. I still haven't ended it. But as you can tell, the end is almost near.   



	12. Part Twelve

Disclaimers: I still own nothing other than a few models, and a wonderful collection of action figures and posters.  
  
Author's notes: Another part of my long series. No, it still isn't over yet. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 12  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Trowa sat there on the couch, just staring into the steaming hot tea inside his cup. He wasn't going to drink it. He just wanted to hold it, maybe get some warmth back into his hands, to fight off the coldness that threatened to steal his heart away again. Without Quatre, he was losing it. Slowly, his heart was crumbling, his hope fading away.  
  
Quatre was gone. Trowa knew that it was all his own fault. If only he had been there, none of this would've happened. Quatre wouldn't have been taken, Duo would still be there. Everything would have been fine, if only he hadn't gone on that stupid mission. There hadn't been a need for him to go. It was supposed to have been just a simple mission to destroy a base. Heero and Wufei could have handled it, if it had been real.  
  
The sound of a car stopping outside caught his attention, but he didn't look up. It was probably Wufei, back from whatever errands he had gone out to run. But a voice from the top of the stairs did get him to turn around. It was Heero asking, "Who's that?"  
  
"Probably Wufei." Trowa answered, looking at the bear that Heero held in his arms. He was surprised that Heero had brought it out of Duo's room with him. Trowa noticed that Heero looked so different right now, younger somehow. His mask was gone, his emotions showing. It was a strange sight indeed. Heero looked almost like a normal teenager, not like someone who could kill without remorse, an emotionless killing machine, the Perfect Soldier.  
  
The front door opened, and Trowa turned to see who it was, expecting Wufei to walk through the doorway. But it wasn't Wufei. Instead, he watched as Catherine, Hilde, and Relena walked into the safe house. Relena closed the door behind the three of them.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Heero asked.  
  
Relena looked up at him, her brow furrowing in confusion for a moment. It was as if she didn't recognize him, but it seemed to pass after only a few seconds. "Heero?" She gasped.   
  
Heero walked down the stairs, still holding the bear in one arm, the other arm dangling by his side. "What are you doing here?" He asked again, his voice returning to its normal monotone. Trowa could see that Heero was putting his mask back into place, at least for the time being. Maybe it was still too early for Heero to show emotions in front of so many people. Trowa understood very well.  
  
"I called them." Sally said, entering the room from the kitchen, placing most of her weight on her crutches.  
  
"Why?" Heero asked, glaring at her.  
  
"They deserved to know. They are friends of yours, and of Duo and Quatre." Sally replied.  
  
Trowa turned his attention back to the cup in his hand, watching the steam rise from the liquid. For some odd reason, it caused him to think of Quatre. The porcelain teacup reminding him of Quatre's delicate features, of how he appeared so fragile. But inside of him there was the warmth of his love, the heat of the passion he felt for Trowa, almost like the steaming hot tea inside of the cup. It was silly really, to see a resemblance to Quatre within a teacup. Trowa would have laughed if it had not been for the worry in his heart, the desperate hold he kept on his dwindling hope slowly wearing down from his fear of not finding his angel in time to save him.  
  
A firm but gentle hand touched his arm and he looked up to see Catherine's face, her worried expression. He placed the cup on the coffee table, trying to keep his mind off of Quatre. He tried to hide his pain, to put his own mask back into place, as Heero had only moments ago.   
  
Obviously, it hadn't worked. Catherine threw her arms around him, pulling him into a loving embrace. His heart wished that she really was his sister, that he had some family, but he was nothing, nobody. He was back to being nothing without Quatre, back to being that nameless mercenary with no joy in his life. He might as well be dead without his angel, without his dearest Quatre.  
  
"Trowa, I'm here for you." Catherine said, rubbing her hands on his back in slow soothing circles.  
  
Trowa returned the embrace, grateful for the contact, even if they weren't related, even if she only cared for him because of a need to fill an empty gap in her life. He knew that she only loved him out of misplaced affection, because he was the same age as her brother would have been if he were still alive. He didn't deserve her affection, she was of no relation to him. Only her long dead brother should have the privilege of being held by her in such a loving way, in such a sisterly manner. He had no family, no one. But he didn't want to let go of her, didn't want to feel so cold anymore, so alone in the world.  
  
"Catherine." He mumbled into her hair, holding her as close to his own body as he could. "It's all my fault . . . if only I had been here. I should have stayed behind."  
  
"No, it's okay." She whispered back. "You can't blame yourself for any of this."  
  
Trowa just fell into the embrace, not letting his mind register on anything else. He didn't want to think anymore, didn't want to feel. He just wanted all of those emotions to go away again, wanted to lock them up once more. But he couldn't stop it. It was already far too late. Quatre had left too strong an impact on his life and there was no way to go back to the way he had been before he had met and loved the blonde Arabian. He felt the tears falling from his eyes, but didn't stop them. He only clung more to Catherine, not wanting to feel so alone, so cold anymore.  
  
"Where's Wufei?" Sally asked.  
  
Trowa pulled himself together, brushing away his tears and letting go of Catherine. He didn't want the others to see his tear-streaked face, to know that he had silently wept. He still wanted to keep his emotions to himself, the others didn't need to know about his feelings. Only Quatre had ever seen him truly cry, had ever seen him release his hidden emotions. The others had only caught small glimpses of his true emotions, a tear or two, but never as many as Quatre had been privileged to witness during the time they had spent together.  
  
"I don't know." Heero replied, shrugging. "Trowa, do you know where Wufei is?"  
  
"He said he had a few errands to do." Trowa answered.  
  
"He just left?" Heero asked, a definite trace of anger in his eyes. "What about the searches he was running? Did he finish them?"  
  
"I don't know." Trowa snapped, not really knowing why he was yelling. He wasn't angry, not at Heero anyway. "I didn't ask him."  
  
"Please, calm down both of you." Relena said, standing between the two pilots.  
  
"Yeah." Hilde said, standing beside her. "It won't help any of us if we fight amongst ourselves."  
  
Trowa snapped his head to the side, hearing someone clearing their throat. Wufei was standing in the doorway, one of his eyebrows raised, his arms folded against his chest. "Am I disturbing something? I go out for a little while, and you two are practically at each other's throats. I'd love to explain to Duo and Quatre that you couldn't save them because you had killed each other. That will go over very well, I think." Wufei said with a tone of sarcasm.   
  
"Where have you been?" Heero nearly shouted.  
  
"Just as I told Trowa, I had a few errands to run." Wufei answered, still standing in the doorway.  
  
Trowa stood from his seat. "And what exactly does that mean?" He asked. "Just where were you?"  
  
"I finished my computer searches. They were successful, and I was able to locate the man whose fingerprints were found on the syringe. I went and questioned him." Wufei replied.  
  
"Without us? You went alone?" Heero glared.  
  
"Neither of you were in any state to be of help. I did not want to take the risk that you would kill the man before we acquired the knowledge we were seeking." Wufei answered.  
  
Wufei's high-and-mighty attitude was really getting on Trowa's nerves. But he kept his anger down. "Did you find out anything?"  
  
Wufei nodded. "Yes. I know where Duo and Quatre are being held."  
  
Heero took a step forward. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go."  
  
Wufei held up his hand. "We should come up with a plan first."  
  
"But . . ." Heero started.  
  
Wufei cut off his sentence. "It will do no good for us to just rush in there without knowing what will be waiting for us. We need to be prepared. It will not help either Duo or Quatre if we are killed before we can reach them."  
  
Heero bowed his head in defeat. Trowa just nodded, knowing that Wufei was right. They would only be putting Duo and Quatre's lives in danger if they just rushed in. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.  
  
"Who's that?" Hilde asked, once again getting Trowa's attention.  
  
Trowa looked up, his gaze traveling over to where Hilde was pointing. Someone was standing, or actually hiding, behind Wufei. A face peeked out from behind the Chinese pilot. At first glance, he looked like Quatre, the blonde hair getting Trowa's attention immediately. But after a second, he saw that the shade of his hair was slightly darker than Quatre's, his eyes violet instead of Quatre's wonderful blue color. The face ducked back behind Wufei, apparently afraid.  
  
Wufei turned slightly. "This is David. I found him when I questioned Nick Smith, the man whose prints were found on the syringe." He held his hand out and gave a small smile, "Come along David, no one here will hurt you."  
  
David slowly stepped out from behind Wufei, keeping his gaze locked on the floor. He took small, slow steps, as if moving caused him pain. He held tightly to the jacket draped around his shoulders, keeping it wrapped around his body. Trowa recognized it as Wufei's jacket. He could see how tattered and torn the boy's clothes were, where Wufei's jacket wasn't covering him. He could also see a number of bruises and cuts on David's face, arms, and legs, the blood sticking to his skin and hair. Trowa wondered just how and where Wufei had found him. By the look of him, the boy had been in one hell of a fight.  
  
"David, these are friends of mine." Wufei said, then introduced everyone to the frightened boy.  
  
"Oh, he is so adorable." Hilde commented.   
  
Wufei seemingly ignored her. "Sally, I believe David here might need your medical assistance." He laid his hand on David's shoulder.   
  
Trowa couldn't help but notice that David shuddered slightly at Wufei's touch. Sally stepped forward, moving slowly because of the crutches. "Catherine, can you go get my bag? It's in my room, upstairs, last door at the end of the hall. It's on my bed."  
  
Catherine didn't reply, she just nodded, and walked to the stairs. A few minutes later she came back down, carrying Sally's black bag in her hand. She put it on the coffee table then stood beside Trowa, taking his arm in hers.   
  
Wufei stepped over to Sally, keeping David between the two of them. He leaned over and whispered something into her ear. Sally nodded, then looked down at the boy, a hint of sadness on her face. Trowa couldn't help but wonder what was going on. It was obvious that Wufei was keeping something to himself, some piece of knowledge he wasn't sharing with the rest of the pilots, only sharing it with Sally.  
  
Sally turned her attention back to the others. "Okay, everyone out. I don't want David here to feel like he's being put on display." She said.  
  
"Where are we supposed to go?" Heero asked.  
  
Hilde spoke up, "Into the dining room. I believe it's time for breakfast."  
  
"I'm not hungry." Heero stated.  
  
"I don't care. You look like you could use a good meal. Besides, I think you could all use all the extra energy you can get, considering you're about to go on a rescue mission." Hilde said.  
  
"Don't argue with her." Relena stated, placing her hand on Heero's arm. He just shrugged her off. But Relena continued, "Besides, we have to leave Sally and David alone for a few minutes."  
  
"Fine." Heero replied.  
  
Trowa and the others walked to the dining room. Catherine let go of him, walking a few paces ahead of him. At the doorway, Trowa stopped and turned back, wanting to make sure that Heero was following him. He watched as Heero walked over to David. Sally was busy opening her bag and pulling out equipment, so Trowa doubted that she saw what was going on.   
  
David looked up at Heero, who now stood in front of him. His eyes were filled with fear, his body shaking. Hesitantly, Heero held out the bear he held. David took it, timidly, as if it might hurt him.   
  
"I'm just loaning it to you. It belongs to a friend." Heero said. He smirked, then turned and walked to the dining room, passing Trowa without saying a word. David just watched Heero as he left, then smiled for a moment, hugging the bear against his chest. Trowa sighed and followed the rest of his friends into the dining room.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Quatre opened his eyes, hearing the door opening. Carl stepped into the room, leaving the door wide open behind him. He knelt beside Quatre, and unlocked the shackle that was around his ankle. Then he pulled something out of his pocket. Quatre's eyes widened, seeing a syringe being so carefully held between the man's fingers. His mind was filled with fear, wondering what Carl had in store for him now.  
  
"Just a mild stimulant." Carl smiled. "Don't want you to lose consciousness, when I'm having my fun."  
  
Quatre felt the stinging of the needle as it penetrated his skin. He winced, although it didn't really hurt that much. After a few moments, he felt wide awake, as the drugs had obviously begun to kick in. He felt some of his strength return, not much. He still wasn't strong enough to fight Carl off, to try and escape, but at least now he wasn't so weak that he couldn't move.  
  
Carl grabbed his wrist, and pulled him up. Quatre stood there for a moment, trying to stop himself from swaying. His legs felt like jelly beneath him, and moving so quickly had made him quite dizzy. Then Carl took hold of his arm, his grip tight, and forcefully pulled him from the room. Quatre stumbled several times, trying to keep up with Carl as he quickly walked down a long hallway. A chill ran through his body as they walked farther down the hall. It felt as if someone had turned the heat off.  
  
Finally, Carl stopped in front of a door, still holding tightly to Quatre's arm. He unlocked and opened the door, then shoved Quatre inside. Two pairs of hands immediately grabbed him, keeping him from falling to the floor. Quatre looked up, wondering who held him, but the faces were unfamiliar to him. One was a girl, maybe in her twenties, her dark roots showing through her bleached blonde hair. Her eyes were green, but seemed empty. She wore a red halter top and a black leather miniskirt. A man with flaming red hair stood next to her, a number of freckles covering his face. He was dressed in only a pair of plain black jeans.  
  
"He's pretty." The girl smiled.  
  
"Very pretty." The man agreed, taking one of his hands and lightly running his fingers through Quatre's hair.  
  
Carl's deep voice pulled Quatre's attention away from these new people. "Where is he?"  
  
"I'm right here." Said a shaky voice. Quatre turned, looking to the man that had just walked into the room.  
  
The man was dressed the same as the one holding Quatre, in only a pair of black jeans. But this man was definitely hooked on drugs. There were track marks, caused by the drug needles he used, on his arms. It was obvious by the way his body shook, by the sweat covering his face, that he was going through withdrawal symptoms.   
  
Quatre could see a slight resemblance to Duo in this man. He had the same color hair, although his was only shoulder length, and was greasy and unkempt. Seeing him, standing in front of Carl, holding his arm out in a silent plea for a fix from Carl as his body shook, make Quatre shudder inwardly. It scared Quatre, thinking about Duo. He had seen Duo just like that, shaking, sweating, wanting a fix from Carl, during those days at the safe house.   
  
Carl sighed. "Fine." He reached into a pocket, pulling out yet another syringe. Quatre couldn't help but wonder just how many he had on him. Quickly, Carl readied the syringe and injected the liquid into the man.  
  
Quatre gasped at the memories that resurfaced as he watched Carl inject the drugs into his employee. It reminded him of Duo, of how sick he had been, of how weak and hurt he was.  
  
Carl turned to Quatre, a smirk appearing on his face. "Desperate people will do anything if only to get away from the pain I can inflict. And yes, my dear little empath, Duo was that desperate!" Carl sneered.  
  
Quatre struggled against his fears, holding them back. He didn't want to say anything, do anything that would anger Carl. It would only get him hurt, and possibly Duo as well.  
  
"What do you want me to do, Boss?" The man asked, after a few short moments as his drugs kicked in.  
  
"Just hold him from behind." Carl answered, pointing to Quatre.   
  
The man took his place behind Quatre, grabbing his arms and pinning them to the sides of his body, as Carl walked further into the room. Quatre followed Carl with his eyes, for the first time getting a look at the rest of the room. But when he saw what was across from him, just lying on the floor only feet away from him, he took in a sharp breath.  
  
"Duo?" He gasped, looking at his friend who lay helpless on the floor. Duo was naked, sprawled on the floor face down, his hair a tangled mess around him. His left arm looked odd. Quatre remembered that had been the broken arm. Carl must have done something to it. By the looks of it, he must have twisted it or broken it again. Duo's entire body was covered in bruises and scratches, the one side of his face looked to be just one huge bruise.  
  
Carl walked over to Duo and nudged him with his foot. Duo groaned, as Carl had obviously hit a sore spot. He looked up, his hair falling away from his face. His eyes widened. "Quatre?" He asked.  
  
Quatre watched as Duo pushed himself from the mattress, lunging at the trio that held Quatre. Carl had obviously anticipated this, and he just grabbed Duo by the hair, yanking him back. Duo fell back to the floor, panting from the pain he was apparently in.  
  
"Now, now . . . don't spoil my fun here." Carl smiled, letting go of Duo's hair.  
  
Duo stared up at Carl, his eyes burning with rage. "Bastard!" He shouted. "You said you wouldn't hurt him!"  
  
"That's why I brought him here." Carl replied. "I haven't touched him, other than a few tastes. He's perfectly all right. See?" He gestured toward Quatre.  
  
"Liar! I can see the hand print clearly." Duo snarled, mentioning the red mark on Quatre's cheek from when Carl had slapped him before. Quatre could feel Duo's anger, along with a great deal of pain from within him. He didn't know where Duo was getting all of this energy. He was so tired, Quatre could sense his weariness.  
  
"You should thank me. The little morsel was about to leave us." Carl replied.  
  
"Why the hell did you bring him here?" Duo asked, "He doesn't need to see me like this!"  
  
"Why, Duo . . . I thought you wanted to see him. That is what you wanted, right? You asked about him enough." He glanced to Quatre, "And he's asked about you. I figured that you'd appreciate my generosity toward a street urchin like you once were. You know what they say, 'Once a street rat, always a street rat.' You ought to be grateful." He knelt beside Duo, brushing the strands of long, chestnut hair over his shoulder. Duo moved away, but didn't get too far since there really was nowhere for him to go. "Now, if you'll just give in, your little friend can go home unscathed."  
  
Quatre couldn't just stand by and listen anymore. He was already losing what strength he had left, what the stimulants had given back to him. His breathing was becoming ragged, making him sound as if he had just run a race. "No! Duo . . . don't . . . I wouldn't be able . . . to live with . . . myself if you . . . did that!"  
  
Duo looked up at him, smiling slightly. "It's okay Quatre." He turned to Carl, glaring, his smile vanishing in an instant. "I'd rather die!"  
  
"That can be arranged, Duo." Carl said, smiling once again. "Pity, you were my best employee. However, we won't kill you until after this little one's spirit has fled. He's so close now, Duo."   
  
Carl walked over to Quatre, grabbing his hair and pulling him forward slightly. Quatre gasped, feeling his scalp being stretched, but he didn't let himself cry out, didn't let himself make a sound.   
  
"Can you see that? The little light in his eyes is dying. The flame within him is flickering and soon it will go out." Carl said, keeping his eyes locked on Duo. "You know, it's your fault." He released Quatre's hair. "Had you given in, I might have sent him someplace where he could have been found. But no . . . you had to be stubborn."  
  
Quatre watched as Duo hung his head. Carl was getting to him, he could see it. He opened his mouth, but before he could utter a word, a hand clamped over his mouth from the side. He knew the hand belonged to the red-haired man, since the man behind him already had his hands on Quatre's arms.   
  
He couldn't do anything but watch as Carl moved in front of Duo, grabbing him by the hair and pulling him up. Carl backhanded him, almost knocking Duo to the ground once again. If it weren't for the grip he held on Duo's hair, Duo would have fallen. A few more strikes to Duo's already swollen face, and Carl was done hitting him.   
  
Carl moved behind Duo, keeping one of his arms wrapped around Duo's waist to keep him standing. Quatre closed his eyes, not wanting to watch this. He didn't want to see his friend suffer any more. But he reopened his eyes quickly when that girl bit him on the ear. He could feel the warm blood trickling down his throat from his ear. Obviously, he was supposed to watch.   
  
Duo raised his head, his eyes looking directly into Quatre's. Quatre could sense his fear, all the pain within his beaten body. But something stuck out, guilt. Quatre knew that Duo felt this was all his own fault, everything that had happened to Quatre and himself. Duo completely blamed himself for everything. Quatre wished he could say something, to tell Duo that he didn't blame him. But with that hand covering his mouth, he couldn't form a single word.  
  
Then Duo let out a scream, as Carl forced his way into his body. He clenched his eyes shut, lowering his head to hide his face beneath the waves of hair that draped around him. Quatre clenched his teeth shut, feeling the intense pain along with Duo. His legs gave out from under him as he completely lost his strength. However, the man behind him kept him from falling by keeping his hands firmly on Quatre's arms.  
  
"Look up, Duo." Carl said, between his own moans, as he roughly used Duo's body. "Look at your friend. Just look at what you've done to him."  
  
Quatre's body shook uncontrollably, shuddering from the pain of his friend, from the feelings he sensed from him. Duo lifted his head, his face a mask of pain. Quatre almost couldn't bear to see the agony in his eyes, to feel all of that sorrow and shame. But he held on, knowing that Duo would want him to try to, at least a little longer.  
  
With just a few more thrusts, Carl had finished with Duo. He just let go of Duo, letting him fall to the floor in a heap. Quatre could see him shaking, as his own body shook. But Duo still forced himself to his knees and looked up at Quatre. "I'm sorry." He whispered, his eyes full of shame.  
  
Carl pulled his pants back up, and walked over to Quatre and the trio that held him. He turned back to Duo for a moment. "It's time for my friends to have some fun now."  
  
"No!" Duo yelled, trying to stand, but he fell back to the floor, all his strength apparently gone.  
  
Carl turned, facing Quatre and the three that held him. "Do it." He ordered.  
  
Quatre's eyes widened, feeling the hands running along his body. He balled his hands into tight fists, clenching his teeth shut. His eyes brimmed with tears as their hands wandered to places he really only wanted Trowa's hands to go. There were kisses, savage and rough against his skin. But at least they never kissed him on the lips, only on his arms, his neck, or wherever else they felt like kissing him. They groped him, their hands going in places he didn't want them to go. But no matter how much he wished to get away, he just didn't have the strength.   
  
And then there were the emotions he sensed, the wanton sexuality of the girl, the red-haired man's lust, and even a hint of regret from the man holding his arms. But the strongest feelings he sensed came from Duo. Duo was filled with rage and guilt, with sorrow and self-hatred. To Quatre, those emotions were almost like daggers, so painful, so exhausting to keep sensing over and over again.  
  
Duo's voice cut through the haze of emotions that once again overwhelmed Quatre. "What's the matter, Carl? You know it too, don't you?" Duo said, his voice strangely calm. "They're close to finding where we are, and you know you're a dead man when they do get here."  
  
Carl smiled and turned to Duo. "Maybe, but you will be dead, and this little one as good as dead before they can even discover the name of this place." He paused. "And I was having that house watched, while you were recovering from those injuries Jack gave you. How will that sweet-eyed Japanese boy take your death? How will the emerald-eyed acrobat take it if this one never returns?" He had gestured to Quatre as he spoke that one sentence. Then he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "And that Chinese boy won't last long on his own. A mission will come that he can't handle alone and he'll die. They'll all die, Duo. All of them . . . All because of you."  
  
Quatre watched as Duo bowed his head. He couldn't believe that Duo was letting Carl's lies get to him. Quatre wanted to say something, to let Duo know that Carl was lying, but his voice was gone. Duo lifted his head once again, as Carl turned back to Quatre.  
  
Carl walked over to Quatre, a lustful gleam in his eyes. He snapped his fingers, and immediately the red-haired man and the woman moved away from Quatre. However, the man behind Quatre stayed where he was, since he was the only thing keeping Quatre from falling.  
  
As Carl stood in front of him, he stared Quatre down, his lust-filled eyes boring into him. Without uttering a single word, Carl reached out and groped him. If only Quatre had some strength left, he would have tried to escape that invasive touch. He futilely tried to imagine that it was Trowa who was touching him. But that was impossible. Carl was being so rough, Quatre could never pretend it was his gentle, silent Trowa.  
  
Carl continued his harsh ministrations. His terrible hands were on him, rubbing Quatre in places that would feel good if it were Trowa's gentle hands touching him, his dearest Trowa instead of the terrifying man that stood in front of him.  
  
Quatre could feel it, the last shred of his grasp on reality slipping away. His hands fell limply to his sides, his fists dropping open. A chill ran up his spine, as panic welled up inside of him. His mind struggled madly against it, not wanting to fade away, not wanting to leave Duo alone in this horrible place.  
  
"Duo!" He called out, forcing his voice to work once again, for that one desperate cry for help.  
  
"Carl, stop it! Stop it now!" Duo screamed on Quatre's behalf.  
  
But it was already too late. As a single tear fell from his eye, Quatre lost that last desperate hold connecting him to the world. His consciousness lost its grip as it retreated deep into his mind, maybe never to return.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
I know, I'm cruel to just leave you hanging there like this. Please, review.   
  
Oh, and thanks once again to Tenshi-Chan for all your help in writing this fic. People, please thank her by reading her first Gundam fic, "Operation: Lost Boys." It really is a great series. This story of mine wouldn't have been as good without all her wonderful comments and ideas.   
  
  



	13. Part Thirteen

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.  
  
Author's notes: More Duo suffering in this story. It pics up with Duo's perspective of what was happening to Quatre. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 13  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Duo watched helplessly as Carl's employees fondled Quatre, moving their disgusting hands along his shivering body. Duo knew two of these people, how perverted and sick they were. He had met them sometime after Carl had brought him back the first time. They both had very bad reputations.   
  
The red-haired man was Todd, a guy who had a thing for innocent looking people, like Quatre. Of course, after meeting Todd, those boys and girls were no longer innocent, and sometimes no longer living. And the girl with the bleached-blonde hair, was Ivy. She was known for how much she liked to "play" with the other employees, especially the ones that didn't want to be in this business in the first place. Both of them could always be found around another of Carl's employees, a man named Nick, doing anything Nick ordered them to do.  
  
Duo silently pleaded for Quatre to get through this, to hold on if only for a little while. Duo knew he had to do something to save his friend. He had lost so many already . . . he didn't want any more people to suffer because of him.  
  
"What's the matter, Carl?" Duo blurted out, doing the only thing he could think of. He struggled to keep his voice calm, knowing he couldn't show fear at a time like this. "You know it too, don't you? They're close to finding where we are, and you know you're a dead man when they do get here."  
  
Carl turned to Duo, a smile on his face. "Maybe, but you will be dead, and this little one as good as dead before they can even discover the name of this place." He paused for a moment, his smile widening. "And I was having that house watched, while you were recovering from those injuries Jack gave you. How will that sweet-eyed Japanese boy take your death? How will the emerald-eyed acrobat take it if this one never returns?" He gestured to Quatre as he spoke that last sentence. Then he crossed his arms in front of his chest and turned back to Duo, speaking once again. "And that Chinese boy won't last long on his own. A mission will come that he can't handle alone and he'll die. They'll all die, Duo. All of them . . . All because of you."  
  
Duo bowed his head as Carl's words sunk in. This was all his fault. He should have given in, then none of this would have happened to Quatre. He wouldn't have been hurt like this, wouldn't have been fondled or forced to watch as Duo was beaten and raped. It must be so painful for the blonde to sense all the suffering, to be a witness to all the pain and feel it along with Duo.  
  
Duo lifted his head and watched as Carl walked over to Quatre. Carl snapped his fingers. Todd and Ivy backed away from Quatre, their heads bowed and looking slightly disappointed that they couldn't finish what they had started. The third person, who Duo didn't recognize, was obviously there to hold the blonde up.  
  
Quatre looked so tired, so weak. His body was shaking and covered in a sheen of sweat, despite the coldness in the room. He was so pale, the blood dripping from the bite mark in his ear a dark contrast to his almost grayish skin.  
  
Carl just stood there for a moment, no doubt looking Quatre over. Then, abruptly and without a word or warning, Carl reached out and groped him. Duo had a perfect view of everything, although he wished he didn't. Quatre was his friend, Duo didn't want to see him suffer, to see that man touching his already weakened body.  
  
As Duo watched, hating himself for not having the strength to save his friend, a panicked look spread across Quatre's face. "Duo!" He yelled out, before once again becoming silent.  
  
"Carl, stop it!" Duo shouted frantically. "Stop it now!"  
  
But even as he said the words, Duo noticed the change. A single tear trailed down Quatre's pale face as his eyes went blank, as something within his eyes disappeared. Something was terribly wrong, Duo was sure of that. No, not Quatre, it couldn't be true, he had to be all right. Duo screamed out Quatre's name in denial, a memory resurfacing in his mind of yelling out in just the same way when Sister Helen had died. He didn't want to believe it, although the truth was apparent. Quatre was gone, his mind had finally slipped away.  
  
Carl took a step back, away from Quatre. He waved his hand in front of Quatre's empty eyes, snapping his fingers a few times. But there was no reaction from Quatre. He didn't even blink or twitch in any visible way.  
  
"What a pity." Carl said, turning to Duo, a playful smile on his face.  
  
Duo lowered his gaze to the floor, crying for the loss of his friend. He couldn't stop himself. It was all his own fault that Quatre was the way he was. Why hadn't he just stayed with Carl? Why hadn't he died in the streets after Jack had those men beat him? Everything would have been so much better if he had. Quatre wouldn't be in that condition, he would never have gotten sick in the first place, and he never would have known what it was like to be touched by that disgusting man.  
  
"Can we play with him now, sir?" Ivy asked.  
  
Duo raised his head, looking on in shock and disgust, as Ivy and Todd both stepped toward Quatre. He couldn't believe this. Even though his mind was gone, these two still wanted him? How could they be so disgusting, so sick?  
  
"No. Leave him be." Carl replied, his tone commanding. He turned to the man holding Quatre up. "Take him back to his room. I have no further use for him."  
  
Duo watched as the man lifted Quatre from the floor, carefully carrying him in his arms. He looked like he was sorry for Quatre's current condition, a hint of sadness in his red-rimmed eyes. Most likely, he was only doing this to get his fix of drugs, as Duo himself had once done not too long ago.  
  
"What about him?" Todd asked. He pointed to Duo.  
  
"Go ahead. Have fun." Carl smiled.  
  
Duo shuddered, trying to move away from them as Ivy and Todd approached him. As they walked, each of them removed their garments, leaving them both completely naked by the time they reached Duo.  
  
Todd moved behind Duo, lifting him to a kneeling position. He held him up, pressing his body close to Duo, Ivy did the same from the front. He was stuck between the two of them, unable to fight them off because he had no strength, feeling an unbearable need to retch at the disgusting nature of these two people.  
  
Todd's arm moved around Duo's waist, keeping him from falling, his other hand stroking Duo's thigh. Ivy leaned forward, sliding her tongue along Duo's chest, while her hands snaked down to fondle his genitals. Duo groaned at her touch, not wanting his body to react the way it was. But he couldn't stop it, it was a natural reaction to what she was doing.  
  
"Wonderful." She moaned, as she lifted herself onto his lap, impaling herself on him. Behind him, Todd pushed up into him, causing Duo to cry out in pain. The two of them moved in perfect rhythm with each other as they both enjoyed using Duo's body. Duo bit into his lip, turning his face to the side as he clenched his eyes shut, not wanting to look at Ivy, while his own body reacted in a natural way. He could feel it as he approached the edge, as he came closer to his own climax. He bit into his lip, hard enough to draw blood, not wanting to give either of them the satisfaction of hearing him make a sound.  
  
Ivy screamed out an excited, "Yes!" as she reached her climax, and Duo's back arched as he hit his own climax, as he released his fluids into her. He didn't even realize that Todd had finished with him until he was so roughly pushed to the floor. Duo landed on his side, a sharp pain shooting up his arm as his broken arm hit the hard floor.  
  
Todd and Ivy moved away from him, picking up their clothes and putting them on as Carl stepped forward. Carl stood over Duo, "Honestly, Duo . . . I don't see why you put up such a fuss. You actually enjoyed it this time. Just look at yourself, trembling from the remnants of the pleasure that coursed through your body. You can't possibly have any excuse now." He paused, leaning over Duo to whisper into his ear. "There might be some time to save that little blonde. Maybe he's not too far gone just yet. All you have to do is come back to me and stop being so difficult."  
  
Duo turned his face to Carl, sneering. "Go to hell!" He yelled, not allowing himself to give up, not after all that Quatre had sacrificed for him. Even if he didn't think he deserved his life, he wasn't ready to just throw it away yet.  
  
Carl chuckled, standing up straight once again. "Duo, Duo, Duo . . . you just signed your own death certificate." He turned to his two employees. "Get Jack. Tell him to finish the job this time."  
  
Ivy answered meekly, adjusting her halter top. "He's with a client, boss."  
  
"Then tell him to come see me when he gets back. Tell him I have a job for him." Carl replied, then turned back to Duo as he continued to speak. "This piece of trash isn't going anywhere." Carl smiled, then pulled back his arm. An instant later, a fist collided with Duo's eye and darkness enveloped him, sending him back into unconsciousness once again.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Wufei stared across the table at Heero. The pilot was glaring at him, as if he wanted to kill him. He looked as if he just wanted to leap over the table and beat Duo's location out of Wufei.  
  
Hilde looked over, as she walked out of the kitchen, carrying a plate in each hand. "Heero, if you kill Wufei now, you will never learn where Duo is. So just sit there and be patient." She said.  
  
Wufei was surprised at her playful tone, but then he noticed how badly her hands shook as she held the plates. She was probably just as upset as the rest of them. After all, she and Duo were very good friends and had gotten pretty close. Duo treated her like she was a sister to him, although Wufei suspected that she felt more for Duo than just friendship.  
  
Wufei could smell the bacon, could see the eggs and toast that Hilde had made for breakfast. She set the plates on the table, one in front of Heero, the other in front of Trowa. Then, Relena came out, carrying more plates. Catherine followed, doing the same. Hilde went back into the kitchen, and brought out the last two plates, setting them down in front of two empty seats. They were obviously for Sally and David.   
  
"Come on guys," Hilde said, sitting in a chair and picking up her fork. "Eat it before it gets cold."  
  
Wufei picked up his fork, not really hungry. He was still too concerned about Duo and Quatre, not to mention David. The young boy had just been assaulted. Who knew how much damage had been done to both his body and mind. But still, even though Wufei wasn't really hungry, he ate. There was no need to further upset Hilde or any of the other girls, and it might cause both Trowa and Heero to consider eating something.  
  
After only a few bites, which took him a lot longer than it should have, Heero put his fork down on his plate. "Why are we siting here eating, when Duo and Quatre still need our help?" He asked.  
  
"We need to come up with a plan, and I want to make sure young David is well before we go anywhere." Wufei answered after swallowing a bite of food.  
  
"How did you find the boy?" Trowa asked, pushing his own plate away from himself.   
  
"I do not wish to get into that until I find out how his health is. So let us discuss the plan for getting Duo and Quatre out safely." Wufei said, avoiding the topic Trowa had brought up.  
  
"Fine. But you will have to tell us where they are, so we can come up with this plan." Heero said.  
  
"They are at the Imperial Hotel, in the city. And we have a time limit. It seems that Carl is moving his business." Wufei replied.  
  
"When?" Trowa asked.  
  
"By nightfall, tonight." Wufei answered, not looking at either of the pilots that sat across from him.  
  
Heero opened his mouth to speak, but any words he had to say were cut off when Sally entered the dining room. David wasn't with her. She stayed by the door, and Wufei saw that her grip on her crutches was unusually tight. Her knuckles were turning white from the strong grip she held. Her face was twisted in anger, and it looked as if any minute she could explode from her rage.  
  
Sally took several deep breaths, in an obvious attempt to calm herself. Then she looked to Wufei. "You were right." She said quickly.  
  
Wufei lowered his head after hearing Sally's news, although he had already known it had happened. Maybe he just hadn't wanted to believe it. David was just a boy. It was too horrible a thought to know what Nick Smith had done to him.  
  
"About what?" Relena asked.  
  
Sally glanced down at Wufei again, silently asking for permission before she spoke. Wufei only nodded his head, not able to find the words to speak. Sally sat in a nearby chair, before saying anything.  
  
"David is undernourished. There are numerous bruises on his body, various cuts and lacerations . . ." Sally said, her words trailing off. Then her face grew pale as she looked down to the table. "He's been sexually assaulted." She said in a choked voice.  
  
Wufei watched the expressions of the people sitting around the table. Both Heero and Trowa looked furious. Catherine covered her mouth with her hands, stopping the gasp before it left her mouth. Catherine then turned to Trowa, burying her face in his shoulder, as her own shoulders shook from her sobs. Relena bit into her bottom lip, as tears began to stream down her cheeks, and Hilde just bolted out of the room, her hand flying to her mouth.  
  
Trowa wrapped his arms around Catherine, but still stared at Wufei. "How did you find David?" He asked.  
  
"I discovered that Nick Smith was frequently arrested at a sleazy bar in the city, so I went there to find him. I questioned one of the patrons, and he told me that Mr. Smith used the bar as a way to find new employees and new clients for Carl. The man then told me that Mr. Smith was in the back room testing out a new employee." Wufei paused, trying to determine the best way to put what he was thinking into words. "I opened the door, and I saw David lying on the floor. Mr. Smith had apparently just finished with him. I could not just leave David in that place, so I brought him with me."  
  
Wufei stood, feeling a need to leave the room. If anyone said anything, he didn't hear them. He just wanted to get away for a moment, some time to himself. As he walked, he passed by the bathroom. He paused, hearing the unmistakable sounds of someone crying. It must be Hilde, he thought, as he reached out to the doorknob. But he stopped himself, as he heard her words, her choked up sobs.   
  
"He's just a baby." Hilde cried. "What kind of perverted bastard would do that to such a sweet-looking kid?"  
  
Wufei backed away, not needing to hear anymore. Maybe he should just let Hilde be alone. She obviously didn't want to let others see her tears, or she would have stayed in the room. If she needed to talk, she could always say something to someone later.   
  
Wufei stepped back into the dinning room. He saw David standing in the doorway to the living room. He noticed that David held onto a teddy bear, and he wondered when Heero had given it to him. But the jacket was gone from around David's shoulders, and his tattered clothing hung loosely on his shivering body. The boy looked frightened, biting his fingernails and looking at the group that sat around the table as if they would hurt him.  
  
"David?" Wufei said, trying to keep his voice calm, but it was difficult after having to tell the others about what had happened to the boy.  
  
David backed away into the living room, whimpering slightly as he moved, taking his fingers away from his mouth. He looked absolutely terrified, and whispered in a quiet voice, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do anything wrong." He continued backing away as everyone stood, his body trembling in fear.  
  
Catherine stepped toward him slowly, motioning with her hand for the others to stay back. She crouched down a few feet away from David, and smiled sweetly, holding out her hand to him. "It's okay, we're not mad at you, just at what happened to you." She said.  
  
David hesitantly stepped forward, taking her hand slowly, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. He still didn't look as if he trusted anyone. But Wufei couldn't blame him for his lack of trust. After what he had been through, it was a miracle that he had taken Catherine's hand at all.  
  
"Are you hungry?" Catherine asked.  
  
David nodded once.  
  
"Good. Then why don't you sit and eat? Hilde made some food for you." Catherine said, leading David over to the table. Wufei followed them, going back to his own seat, which was next to David's. He couldn't help but notice the pained expression on David's face as he sat in the chair, the small gasp that escaped the boy's lips.  
  
Everyone seemed to be watching David as he picked up his fork. David's eyes darted around nervously at the people surrounding him. Slowly, he began eating, at first only picking at his food. Then he began to relax a little, taking larger bites of food.  
  
"So, now that you know where Duo and Quatre are, how are you gonna get them out?" Hilde asked as she entered the dining room. It was an obvious attempt to get everyone's attention off of David, and it worked.   
  
The pilots and the girls all looked up at Hilde when she spoke. Wufei noticed the red, puffy eyes, caused from all her tears. "Yes. We should come up with a plan." Wufei said, deciding that she did have a good idea. They did need to think of a plan, and soon.  
  
"We could go in as clients." Trowa said.  
  
"No, I absolutely refuse to degrade myself in such a manner." Wufei huffed, not even wanting to hear more of that plan. It would be too demeaning.  
  
After a short silence, Relena suggested, "Could you climb the walls, get in a window somewhere?"  
  
"Too complicated, and too much of a risk of being seen." Heero replied.  
  
"What about an aerial approach?" Wufei asked.  
  
"No." Trowa answered. "It would be too risky for Duo and Quatre. If they saw us coming, Carl might hurt them."  
  
Wufei frowned, trying to think of another idea. Another silence fell upon the group, this time lasting several minutes, long enough for David to finish eating. He just sat there beside Wufei, listening to the conversation, still clutching that bear with one arm.  
  
David spoke, his voice quiet, timid. "Why don't you guys just bust in there with guns blazing?" He asked.  
  
"This is pointless!" Heero shouted, almost immediately after David had talked. He stood up, slamming his fist on the table, causing the various dishes and glasses on the table to clatter.  
  
David jumped from his seat and ran from the room. Wufei had noticed the fear return to his eyes just before he left. Wufei turned to Heero, glaring. "Are you insane?" He shouted. "Do you not remember how frightened he already is? You should learn to control your temper! Especially around that boy."   
  
Wufei stood and walked away from the table, going after David. "David?" He called, entering the living room. But he didn't see the boy anywhere. He had to admit, that even when he was hurt, David was very fast.  
  
Quickly, he returned to the dining room. "He's gone. Help me find him." Making it sound more like a demand than a plea for assistance.  
  
Everyone stood, except for Heero, and Relena who sat beside him. The others walked out of the room, passing Wufei on their way out. Wufei just stood there in the doorway. As he watched, Relena threw her arms around Heero without saying a word. And to Wufei's surprise, Heero didn't pull away from her. In fact, he bowed his head, silent tears falling from his eyes.  
  
"I don't know what I'll do without Duo." Heero sobbed. "I didn't mean to yell at David like that. I didn't mean it." He wrapped his arms around Relena, returning the embrace as he continued to cry.  
  
Wufei backed away from the door, regretting his earlier words. Heero just didn't know how to control his anger yet. He was nearing the edge of all control, and he didn't know how to handle it. Wufei knew he should have been kinder. It was hard for Heero to go through this, first opening himself up to emotions only to have the one he loved taken away from him. Wufei turned and walked away, starting his search for David, and knowing that he should apologize to Heero later for his hasty words.  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Trowa climbed the stairs, thinking that he might have heard a noise coming from the second floor. When he reached the top of the stairs, he saw that his bedroom door was open. He knew that he hadn't left it open. He never left it open. David must have gone in there.  
  
He quickly walked down the hallway. Slowly he pushed open his door, and entered the room, flicking on the light switch as he passed by it. He scanned the room with his eyes, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. Everything seemed to be in place, and there was no sign of David anywhere. Then a sound from under the bed caught his attention.  
  
Trowa knelt down, and leaned over, looking under the bed. There was David, curled in a fetal position under the bed, staring at Trowa with those big, frightened violet eyes of his. He looked ready to scream in terror, and Trowa wondered if it was just because he had been found.  
  
"Come on out, David. No one's going to hurt you." Trowa said calmly, trying to get the boy to come out on his own. Sure, he could just reach in and pull him out. But he knew he couldn't force David to come out. Doing that would only scare him more.  
  
"No." David answered, his voice quavering. "He's mad at me. He'll hurt me, just like everyone else."  
  
"Who, Heero?" Trowa replied, "Yes, he was mad, but not at you. He just misses Duo very much and he's angry that we can't come up with an idea to save him."   
  
"No." David said. "He's angry at me, I heard it. He's angry that I made that stupid suggestion."  
  
"Your suggestion was not stupid. It's just that Heero has problems with controlling his emotions. I'm sure he didn't mean to shout like that." Trowa said. "Now will you please come out?"  
  
"No." David replied, ducking his head down so that his face pressed into the teddy bear that he clutched so tightly against his body. His body was shaking, but Trowa suspected that it was not because he was cold, but because he was completely terrified.  
  
Trowa stood, knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere this way. He just had to think of some way to calm David down, to get him to come out on his own. Trowa looked around at his room, searching for anything that could be of use.   
  
He walked over to the closet and opened it, looking inside. He immediately saw the case for Quatre's violin resting on a low shelf. He ran his hand over the case, a faint smile crossing his face for a moment as he thought of how much Quatre loved to play the violin. Beside the violin case, was another case, and in it was Trowa's flute. He remembered playing with Quatre that first time, the duet he could still hear in his mind.   
  
Both instruments, along with several changes of clothes, had been brought from the base by a courier. Trowa and the other pilots had sent for their stuff while Duo was recovering, knowing that none of them would be leaving any time soon. And when Quatre had taken ill, sensing all those emotions within the safe house, Trowa had played his flute for him, in an attempt to help him feel better. Of course, he didn't play often. And those few times he had played, it had helped only a small amount, making Quatre sleep peacefully for only a few hours. But when Quatre's health continued to get worse, not even Trowa's flute playing made Quatre any better, and he eventually stopped trying.  
  
Trowa opened the case and pulled out the flute. He then walked back over to a chair and sat across from the bed. He sighed, then lifted the instrument to his lips starting a soft melody, one that he hoped would calm David's nerves. All the time he played, he watched the bed, waiting for any sign to tell him that David was coming out.  
  
After a few minutes, a face peeked out from beneath the bed, watching Trowa with fascinated eyes. Slowly, David crawled out, his clothes nearly falling off of him as he moved. He sat in front of Trowa, crossing his legs in front of him as he listened intently to every note that was played.  
  
Trowa smiled as he finished the tune. "I see you've come out of hiding." He commented.  
  
"That was pretty." David said.  
  
"Feel better?" Trowa asked, laying the flute on the table beside the chair.  
  
David nodded. He tried to pull his clothes back over his shivering body. But they just kept falling again.  
  
Trowa stood, slowly walking over to a dresser. He opened one of the drawers and pulled out a pair of pajamas. They were Quatre's, so they shouldn't be too big on David. Quatre was smaller than the rest of the guys. "Here," Trowa said, turning back to David. "You look like you could use something warm to wear."  
  
David stood and took the clothes from him. Trowa smiled as he watched the boy run his fingers over the soft material. "Is this silk?" He asked innocently.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Wow, I never felt silk before. It's soft and smooth." He commented.  
  
"Why don't we get you cleaned up, and you can put them on." Trowa said.  
  
"Really? I get to wear these?" David said, looking up at Trowa with a hopeful expression.  
  
"Of course. Come on." He ushered David to the bathroom, being careful not to touch him. He really didn't want to scare the boy again.  
  
David stayed by the door, as Trowa walked in and turned on the water in the bathtub. He placed his hand under the flow of water, checking to see if it was warm enough. When the temperature satisfied him, he plugged the drain. Then he set about getting everything that David would need, towels, soap, washcloths, shampoo. He took the pajamas from David, setting them on the lid of the toilet. Then he waited for the tub to fill, before turning off the water.  
  
"I'll leave you alone to get cleaned up. You can lock the door if you don't trust me. When you're done, I'll be waiting outside to take you back down to the others. I'm sure they're all pretty worried about you." Trowa said.  
  
David nodded. He looked up at Trowa, then slowly held out the bear. "Will you take care of it for me?" He asked.  
  
"I'll keep and eye on it, until you get back." Trowa replied, taking the bear from his hands.  
  
David walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Trowa heard the door lock from the inside. But he wasn't really surprised. David still didn't trust anybody, and it would be a long time before he did. Trowa knew that from personal experience. He himself hadn't trusted anyone for so long, not until he met Quatre. But maybe it wouldn't take David so long to learn to trust again. He knew that none of the pilots would turn David away when he needed help. Trowa and the other guys would all be there to help David, showing him the kindness that Trowa had never received when he had truly needed it so long ago.  
  
A short time later, Trowa looked down at his watch, wondering what was taking David so long. Just as he dropped his hand back to his side, he heard the door being unlocked. Slowly the door opened and David walked out, dressed in Quatre's pajamas, the blood and dirt cleaned from his body and hair. The pajamas were light blue, and just a little bit too big on him, but at least they covered him more completely than the tattered clothes he had been wearing.   
  
His hair seemed lighter now, probably because the dirt and blood had been cleaned from it. Now it looked almost the same shade as Quatre's, maybe just the slightest bit darker, but still so close to Quatre's shade. Seeing David standing there, with the combination of the shade of his hair and the fact that he was wearing Quatre's clothes, Trowa couldn't help but think about his angel. He felt a tear fall from his eye.  
  
"You okay?" David asked, looking up at him with confusion on his face.  
  
"Yeah." Trowa answered, not wanting to upset the boy. "It's just that you remind me of Quatre. You look so much like him."  
  
"You love him, huh?" David said, staring down at the floor.  
  
"Yeah. He's the only one that's ever been able to see the real me, the only one I've let into my heart. Before I met him, my life was empty. I was no one. And without him, I'm nothing again." Trowa answered, not understanding why he was saying any of this to David. There was just something about the boy that made him want to talk to him, something unexplainable.  
  
"You'll find him, I'm sure you will." David replied, a small smile crossing his face for the shortest of moments. Then he bowed his head. "You can't lose hope. If you do, there's nothing left."  
  
"Here." Trowa smiled and gave the bear back to David. He didn't like the expression on David's face, the way it had just gone so pale, as if horrible memories were resurfacing in his young mind. Trowa felt that he had to do something to distract him. "Come on. The others are probably wondering where we both got too."  
  
"They're not worried about me." David said quietly, his head still bowed.  
  
"Yes they are. I was worried, and I'm sure my friends are too." Trowa replied, leading David back down the stairs. David remained silent as Trowa led him, not saying one more word.  
  
As they entered the living room, Trowa noticed Wufei opening a closet and looking in, before walking to another closet and doing the same. "I found him." Trowa said, calmly.   
  
Wufei looked up, then walked over. "Where was he?"  
  
"Under my bed." Trowa replied. "Where are the others?"  
  
"Sally and Catherine are outside looking for David, Hilde is searching the cars, and Relena and Heero are in the dining room."  
  
Trowa glanced down at David. "See, I told you they were worried about you."  
  
David smiled slightly. Then he turned his head, his gaze settling on the door to the dining room. His smile disappeared almost immediately.  
  
Trowa placed his hand on David's shoulder, gently pushing him toward the dining room. "Come on."  
  
David ducked away, running to hide behind Wufei. "No, he hates me." He said. "He'll hurt me."  
  
Trowa knelt down and Wufei turned to see David. "No" Trowa said. "He doesn't hate you, and he would never hurt you. I'm sure he'll apologize when he sees you."  
  
"No, he won't. He'll hurt me." David insisted.  
  
Wufei placed his hand on David's shoulder. "Do you think I would let you get hurt? Heero will not hurt you. I know he did not mean to yell like that. Go and see for yourself. And if Heero makes a move to hurt you, I'm sure that Trowa will protect you from him."  
  
David slowly stepped out from behind Wufei. "All right." He said quietly. Trowa noticed that David seemed to listen to Wufei more than anyone, no doubt because he was the one that rescued David in the first place.  
  
David walked ahead of Trowa, taking slow small steps. When they finally reached the door, Trowa was surprised to see Heero in Relena's arms. He was crying, but it seemed as if he was struggling against the tears.  
  
"Heero?" Trowa said, trying to get his attention.  
  
Heero turned to them, wiping his tears from his face. He looked at David, apparently fighting against his emotions once again. "I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to yell like that. I wasn't mad at you. I'm mad at Carl, mad at this whole situation, at my own uselessness." Saying, "uselessness," with an unusually venomous tone. He smiled slightly at David. "But I was never mad at you."  
  
Relena turned Heero to face her. "Why don't you use your laptop and get the layout of the hotel? I'm sure that will be of some use."  
  
Heero smiled. "Yes. I'll do that." He said, regaining his composure. He stood and left the dining room, passing by an amazed Trowa and an even more surprised David. Trowa turned, watching as Heero walked to the stairs.  
  
Then Trowa and David left the dining room, with Relena following them. Just as they entered the room, Wufei walked in from outside. Trowa hadn't even noticed that he had left. Behind Wufei were Catherine, Sally, and Hilde.  
  
Trowa and David sat on the sofa, while the others also took seats around the living room. Relena spoke up, "Wufei, Trowa, why didn't either of you give Heero something to do? You know he's not the type that likes to be idle."  
  
Wufei glared at her from his seat. "His judgement was seriously impaired . . . His frantic state would have caused him to overlook things we did not have time to overlook. Trowa, although upset, understood that there are some things more important than personal pain."  
  
Trowa was surprised that Wufei had stood up for him. But he didn't like the way he had spoken of Heero. "Wait, Wufei, don't be too harsh when judging Heero. You know he is just learning to feel again. He was trained to see his emotions as a distraction, just like I was. He thought that he was never supposed to fall in love with Duo. And finally when he let somebody in, the only thing keeping him sane was taken from him. I know how he feels, so don't judge him when you can't possibly understand what it is like for him, or for me." Trowa said, rising to his feet.   
  
He quickly walked away from the sofa, going over to stand in front of a nearby bookcase, pretending to find something interesting, although nothing on the shelves appealed to him. He just didn't want the others to see him like this, to see the tears that had fallen from his eyes.  
  
Arms wrapped around his waist, a head lay against his back, but Trowa didn't have to turn to know that it was Catherine holding him. "It's okay, Trowa. I'm sure Quatre is fine. You'll see him soon."  
  
Trowa wanted to believe her, but didn't know if he could. There was just something telling him that a terrible thing had already happened. It was a feeling he couldn't explain.  
  
He wiped away his tears as he turned to Catherine. "Thanks." He said quietly, not wanting the others to overhear.  
  
"Carl has nothing to worry about." David said. Trowa looked to him and saw him lower his head as he continued to speak. "You guys are so busy fighting with one another, he'll be long gone by the time you get a good plan."  
  
"I got it!" Heero shouted, running down the stairs, waving a printout over his head.  
  
"That was fast." Hilde commented.  
  
"Not really." Wufei replied, looking at his watch. "I expected him about two minutes ago."  
  
"At least now, we can come up with a decent plan." Trowa said, walking back over to the sofa. In his mind he hoped that Catherine was right, that he would find Quatre all right. Trowa didn't know what he would do if he didn't have his angel in his life.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Duo was aware of the coldness of the room, but for the moment that was all he felt. Carl had only punched him that last time, but now it seemed as if all his injuries were catching up with him, everything seemed to hurt. Everything around him was still black, as he struggled to open his eyes. A distant sound pulled him closer to his goal. It was the sound of the door opening, the sound of footsteps approaching him. Must be Carl, he thought, or maybe Jack coming to kill him.  
  
Finally, he was able to open his eyes. The person before him was vague, as Duo's vision remained fuzzy. Whoever it was didn't look familiar to Duo. Maybe Carl had sent somebody else, maybe he didn't want to wait for Jack to get back.  
  
The man knelt down beside Duo, rolling him over onto his back. The way he moved Duo, it wasn't rough, wasn't like anyone that had come to hurt him before. It was almost as if this person cared about not hurting him. But Duo pushed those ideas away for the moment, no one in this place cared about him. Only Quatre had cared, but now his mind was gone.  
  
Something stinging touched Duo's skin. If Duo wasn't mistaken, it smelled like an antiseptic of some kind. But why would anyone care enough to tend to his injuries? He closed then reopened his eyes, trying once again to focus them. But his vision was still too clouded, the man before him was just a dark blur.  
  
A voice spoke to Duo as his injuries were treated. "I always admired you. You got out of this Hell hole, not just once, but twice. You're a good guy, Duo. I hope that whoever you're waiting for finds you and gets you out of here." He leaned closer, but still Duo couldn't make out his face. "Get out a third time, and they won't bother coming after you again. You'll be too much of a hassle. Hear me? Survive this and get out of here." The man moved away. "I'd get you out of here myself, but I got someone else to worry about besides myself and I don't want Carl getting him. I'll see about getting your friend out because Carl doesn't want him anymore. But I can't make any promises."   
  
The man stood and moved away from Duo. "Why?" Duo asked, finally able to choke out that single word.  
  
"I told you, Duo." The faceless voice said. "I admire you. You did something I only wish I could do. You got out."  
  
Duo searched his mind for a face to go with the voice he had heard. He went over the names and faces of people that had actually been nice to him, but always he drew a blank. All that time he had spent as Carl's employee a few weeks ago, he had usually been stoned out of his mind. He would have forgotten the names of anyone that was nice to him the moment he walked away from the person, maybe even sooner.  
  
"I think I'll just keep you company for a little while. I can't help you escape, but maybe I can help in some other way, keeping you conscious for example. You seem to have a concussion, probably why your eyes can't focus properly. If you fall asleep, you may not wake up again." The vague formed sat on the floor across from Duo, only a few feet away.  
  
"How do you know my eyes can't focus?" Duo asked, trying to sound brave, as if he wasn't hurt that badly.  
  
"I can tell. I've seen people with concussions before. Just last week Jack walked in with one. No other injuries, just the huge bump on his head. One of his clients got a little violent, I guess."   
  
"Jack?" Duo asked, wondering why Jack had been hurt by a client. If Duo remembered correctly, Jack had never had any violent clients.   
  
"You don't know, do you?" The voice asked. "Well, of course you wouldn't know. It happened because of what he did to you."  
  
Duo squinted his eyes, still trying to focus them. He really wanted to know who this guy was. "What happened to him?"  
  
"Carl was furious after he found out what Jack did to you. He brought Jack down here and showed him the same kind of treatment he usually gives to new employees. He was put through a great deal of pain, all the time begging for forgiveness and saying how he just wanted to be the favorite again. But Carl only wanted him to feel the pain, and in the end Carl forced Jack to accept the drugs. Then Carl went one step further, giving Jack the more violent clients, the ones that are into bondage." The voice said.  
  
Duo smiled, not feeling sorry in the least for the little punk. It was Jack's own fault that he had been punished. Duo turned his head, looking to the ceiling. "Talk about more pleasant things." He said, not wanting to hear of pain for the moment, even if it was Jack's pain.  
  
"Okay, let's see." There was a slight pause, as the unknown man was obviously thinking of something to say. "How about something amusing? It's a little known fact that there is not a single fortune in a fortune cookie out there that can't be improved by adding the words, 'in bed,' to the end of it. I'm dead serious, every fortune makes way more sense if you add those two little words."  
  
Duo let out a chuckle, thinking of some of the various fortunes he had received in fortune cookies. Each one that he could remember, did indeed get better when he added those two words. "Thanks." He said, appreciating this stranger's kindness.  
  
"How about recent news next? I know something you may find interesting." The voice said.  
  
Duo nodded, curious.  
  
"I noticed something when I was in the computer room a few minutes ago. Someone was hacking into our computer system. He was very skilled, but Carl employs the best and has several hidden traps within his systems. I assumed it was one of your friends, since they only took the layout of this building, so I casually stopped the source from being traced."  
  
"Heero." Duo gasped, knowing that he was the only one it could have been. But Heero was too skilled to ever get caught. Maybe he was distracted, thinking of Duo's safety. But Duo pushed the thought away, nothing ever got in Heero's way when he wanted something, not even Duo.  
  
"Your friend is very skilled, far greater than me. I am trying to improve my hacking, maybe to help myself get out of this Hell, but that's not important now. Anyway, I believe I caught it just in time, if I had walked into that room a few seconds later, Carl would probably already know that your friends were looking for you." The voice said.  
  
"Thank you." Duo replied, grateful that this stranger had stopped Carl from finding out about Heero's hacking. His heart leapt, knowing that Heero and the others were on their way. Soon, he'd be free, if Heero got to him in time. But he had to keep up his hope, had to stay strong. Heero was on his way. He would rescue him, he had to.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
Not much longer. Hope you're still enjoying this story. Please, Review.  



	14. Part Fourteen

Disclaimers: I still don't own anything. David is mine, but no one else, at least no one that I'd want to call mine. Who would want Carl or Jack anyway?  
  
Author's notes: Yes, the end is near. Here is the mission to save Duo and Quatre. I hope you enjoy.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 14  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Wufei half-listened as Heero once again explained the plan. It was the third time they had gone over it. Wufei really didn't need to listen to it again, he already knew what his job was to be.  
  
"Everyone got it?" Heero asked, finishing his speech, his voice back to its usual monotone. He was back to the Heero that Wufei had grown accustomed to, if only for a short time. Right now, the only thing on his mind was this mission, the most important mission of his life, saving the man he loved. Trowa was the same, completely focused on the task ahead. Wufei found it encouraging to see both of them so ready for this. At least neither of them looked as if they were ready to crack.  
  
"We all got it the first two times you told us." Wufei replied.  
  
"I just want to be sure that everything goes well." Heero said, pacing across the floor in front of the sofa.  
  
"I want to come." David said.  
  
"No." Wufei said, keeping his tone low, so as not to scare the boy. They didn't need to waste precious time searching for the boy if he decided to run and hide again.  
  
"But I want to help." David almost whined.  
  
Wufei stood. "It's too dangerous."  
  
"But you're just going to go in there shooting. What if you kill some innocent person? Not all of the people that work there are bad like Nick." David protested, also rising to his feet, although somewhat slower than Wufei.  
  
"We'll only kill those people that make an attempt to stop us. All others will be given every opportunity to escape unharmed." Heero replied, sounding cold and emotionless.  
  
"But . . ." David said.  
  
"Why is this so important to you?" Trowa asked.  
  
David lowered his head, staring at the floor. "No reason. I-I just don't want to see any innocent people get hurt." He replied.  
  
"Such a sweet kid." Hilde sighed. "He's concerned about innocent people getting hurt."  
  
"Yeah, he's real sweet." Trowa replied. "Now let's get ready to go."  
  
"Okay. Trowa, you and I will get the weapons. Wufei you get the car ready, and Sally, could you get some supplies ready. First-aid kits, blankets . . . and anything else you can think of." Heero ordered.  
  
"Wufei, I'll need the other car." Trowa stated.  
  
"Why?" Catherine asked.  
  
"I can't bring Quatre back here. If Duo's going to be here, Quatre won't be able to be around him for too long, because I'm sure he's already sick by now. Who knows what condition we'll find him in when we get there." He lowered his head, obviously thinking of the possibilities.  
  
Catherine took hold of his hand, and Trowa turned to her. For a moment, Wufei thought he saw a smile, but it disappeared so quickly. Then each of them went their separate ways, each of them going about the jobs they had to do. Relena went with Sally, to help her get the supplies ready, while Hilde stayed with David. And Catherine went upstairs, obviously to pack Trowa and Quatre's belongings.  
  
A few minutes later, Wufei walked back into the safe house. He had just gassed up the cars, making sure they were ready for a quick escape if they needed one. He saw Sally and Relena walking back into the room, Relena carrying two black backpacks. Catherine was standing near the door, dropping a large bag on the floor beside a small group of other bags, most likely the bags all contained Trowa and Quatre's belongings.   
  
Heero and Trowa walked down the stairs, each with a gun in one of their hands. Heero also carried a large black bag with him, but he tossed the bag to Wufei. Wufei didn't need to look inside, he knew it was full of explosives and detonators, along with a weapon for him and a few spare ammunition clips. They were going to make sure that no one was ever hurt in that place again.  
  
Wufei looked over to the sofa, and saw David yawning. "I believe it is time for our young friend to go to sleep." Wufei stated, carefully laying the bag on the floor.  
  
"But I'm not tired." David said, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Besides, where would I sleep?"  
  
"Well, since Quatre and Trowa won't be coming back here, then there will be a spare room." Hilde stated. "Duo and Heero could share a room, since I doubt Heero will want to leave Duo alone. Relena could take Trowa and Quatre's room, Catherine could take Duo's, Wufei and David could share theirs, and I'll bunk out here on the couch."  
  
"But you're a girl." David stated. "You should sleep in a bed. I'm smaller, I'll sleep on the couch."  
  
"Look, I am not sharing a room with Wufei, no matter how attractive he is." Hilde said, and immediately afterwards, her face turned a bright shade of red. "I can't believe I just said that."  
  
Wufei couldn't help but feel flattered at her remark, even if she wasn't his type. He struggled against the blush that threatened to spread across his own face. He had never received such a comment, no one had ever complimented his looks before.  
  
"Well, you could stay with Sally." David replied, yawning once again.  
  
"No, you really should sleep in a bed. It won't do your bruises any good if you sleep on a sofa." Relena said.  
  
"Okay, now that we have that settled, we should get going." Trowa said.  
  
"I'll take David upstairs." Wufei announced. He turned to the sofa. "Come on, David." But to his surprise, he found that David was already asleep.  
  
Wufei smiled slightly, seeing David sleeping there. He gently lifted the boy into his arms, deciding it would probably be better if he carried him. David must have been exhausted, he did have a long and hard day.   
  
He didn't say a word as he walked past the other pilots, going up the stairs. He walked down the hall, and without much difficulty was able to open the door to his own room without awakening the boy he cradled in his arms.  
  
As he laid David on his bed, the boy's eyes fluttered open. "You're going now?" He asked, sleepily.  
  
"Yes, but unlike Trowa I will return." Wufei said, pulling the blankets up to David's chest. He could see a hint of fear remaining in David's half-closed eyes. "Do not worry, if you need anything, the girls will be here. They will not hurt you."  
  
"I'm sorry." David said, hugging the bear he still held.  
  
"For what?" Wufei asked.  
  
David looked away. "For being so much trouble."  
  
"There is no need to be sorry. What happened to you was not your fault, and helping people is what I do." Wufei answered.  
  
"What's going to happen to me now?" David asked, looking up at Wufei with a fear filled expression. "What are you going to do with me?"  
  
Wufei smiled. "We are going to help you, make sure you grow up to be a strong person. But of course, that is only if you want our help. Do you want our help?"  
  
"Yes." David nodded, timidly. "I'd like that." He yawned, his eyes closing slightly more.  
  
Wufei backed away from the bed. "I will see you soon, David. Sleep well."  
  
Wufei moved to switch off the lights, but David stopped him. "Please leave them on." He said, a hint of fear remaining in his voice.  
  
Wufei looked at him kindly, wishing he could offer the boy some amount of comfort. But he knew there was really nothing he could do. "There is nothing to fear here, David. But if it will make you feel better, I will leave the lights on."  
  
"Thank you." David said.  
  
Wufei turned and left the room, closing it behind him. He walked through the hallway again, going back down the stairs. As he entered the living room, he saw that he had walked into the center of an argument. Trowa and Catherine were glaring at each other. Hilde was standing between the two of them in an obvious attempt to calm both of them down.  
  
"What's going on now?" Wufei asked, as he approached the group.  
  
"Catherine wants to come." Trowa said.  
  
"I don't remember asking your permission. I'm telling you that I'm coming with you. No matter what you say, I'm still going to come." Catherine replied, not backing down.  
  
Trowa sighed. "Catherine, we don't have time . . ."  
  
"To argue." She said, finishing his sentence. "I know that. I also know that you're going to be too worried about Quatre to drive. You can't take care of him and drive at the same time. So I'll do the driving for you."   
  
Trowa raised his hands in defeat. "Fine. Just don't get yourself hurt. Stay in the car." He held his gun out to her. "Just in case you need it." Catherine tried to push the weapon away, but Trowa just pushed it back into her palm. "Don't argue with me about this. I just want to be sure you have some sort of protection, even if you don't use it."  
  
Catherine wrapped her fingers around the weapon, looking at it as if it were a snake ready to bite her. "All right, but I'm not going to use it." She said.  
  
"Fine." Trowa replied as he pulled a second gun from behind his back. Wufei wasn't surprised that he had more than one gun. Wufei himself usually carried several with him.  
  
"Time to go." Heero said, snapping Wufei's attention to the pilot standing by the door.  
  
Quickly, they each said their goodbyes to the girls, then went to the cars. Trowa and Catherine grabbed the bags that she had left on the floor and took them out to one of the cars, placing them in the trunk. Wufei picked up his own bag from where he had left it earlier, placing it in the trunk of the other car, before he got into the driver's seat. Beside him, Heero sat in silence, never uttering a single word throughout the drive to the Imperial Hotel. Soon it would be over, Wufei thought. And hopefully they would find their friends still alive.  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Trowa looked up at the building that towered over them. "So this is the Imperial Hotel?" He said, not really caring if anyone replied. It just seemed like any ordinary building. To the passerby, it was just a hotel, not a home for prostitutes, a brothel where people sold their bodies for money, some of them unwillingly.  
  
Trowa turned, feeling something brush against his arm. He grabbed the black backpack that Wufei was holding out to him, slinging it over his shoulder. He noticed that Heero was also ready, his gun drawn, the other backpack hanging at his back. Wufei also carried a bag, his filled with explosives and detonators. At least no one else would ever be hurt in this place ever again, not after tonight.  
  
Wufei nodded, in a silent statement telling Trowa that it was time to get started. "Remember." Wufei warned. "Only kill those that deliberately try to stop us."  
  
Trowa drew his gun. "Right." He agreed. He took one look back at one of the cars, seeing Catherine sitting in the driver's seat. She smiled at him, offering a small hint of encouragement in her shimmering eyes.  
  
Trowa turned back to the hotel, beginning the short walk to the building with Wufei and Heero walking on either side of him. They walked through the doors, into the lobby. Trowa noticed the lack of people. Apparently, Carl had already begun moving his employees out. But none of these people looked to be in very good condition. Many of them were shaking, just lying around on the couches or sitting in chairs around the lobby. Trowa knew the signs, these people were all addicts. Carl must have moved out his best employees first, saving the rest for later, unless he never intended to take any of them with him at all.   
  
"Everybody out!" Heero shouted. Several faces turned to look at them, but none made a move. "Now!" Heero added, raising his gun. He didn't fire, however.  
  
Even though he didn't fire it, seeing the gun was apparently enough to scare these people. They started running, all of them heading for the doors that the three pilots stood in front of. However, one person stopped in front of them.  
  
She was just a girl, roughly twelve years old, no older than David. She wore a pure white dress. It was sleeveless and simple, just a plain white dress cinched tight at the waist. The hem was slightly frayed, pieces of thread hanging down at the edges. Trowa could see that there was a bow at the back, but he couldn't see much of it. Her long ebony hair was tied back in an intricate braid, with a white bow decorating it. By looking at her features, Trowa thought that she looked to be of Chinese descent. Her eyes were warm and brown, and they told Trowa she was not one of Carl's willing employees.   
  
He wondered how much this girl had suffered. There was so much pain reflected in her eyes, although they still retained a strong warmth. She, unlike the rest of the people that had been in the lobby, was not an addict. She looked perfectly healthy, a little thin, but otherwise, healthy. And there was an innocent quality about her, some strange feeling that Trowa just could not explain.  
  
"You're looking for Duo, right? And that blonde?" She said, without a single hint of fear.  
  
"Where are they?" Heero demanded, grabbing her left arm roughly.  
  
The girl only smiled, her hand reaching up to her chest to grab the necklace that hung from around her neck. It was a sterling sliver dream catcher, with three silver feathers hanging from the bottom of it. A small piece of Amber was set in it, slightly off-center. The girl played with the silver feathers, sliding her small fingers around the pieces of metal.  
  
Trowa turned his attention to Heero. Anger was burning in the pilot's blue eyes. He was obviously losing what little patience he had. Trowa knew that if this girl didn't answer soon, Heero might do something that he'd regret later.  
  
"Where are they?" Trowa asked, repeating Heero's question, while he looked back at the girl.  
  
"I'll only answer if he lets go of my arm. He's hurting me." She said, her voice devoid of fear and emotion.  
  
Heero didn't let go. Trowa turned to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Let go." Trowa said.  
  
"No, she might get away." Heero answered, staring intently at the girl.  
  
Wufei stood on Heero's other side. He grabbed Heero's arm, the one that held so tightly to the girl's. "Don't be like the bastards that hurt Duo. You are hurting the girl. Can't you see that?"  
  
Heero visibly flinched, the words apparently sinking in. He closed his eyes for a moment, then dropped her arm. Trowa saw the huge red mark that Heero's grip had left on her arm, the imprint his fingers had made on her skin. She took her other hand away from her necklace and placed it over the fresh bruise that was forming.  
  
The girl turned her head. She pointed to a door with one of her hands. "That door leads to the basement." She said, her voice totally calm, as if she weren't afraid of Heero or what he might do to her. "They're both down there."  
  
"How do we know this isn't a trap?" Heero asked.  
  
The girl smiled again. "All you need to know is that I'm a friend and that they're in the basement. Bye." She waved slightly, then took off running. She was quick, faster than Trowa had expected, and she was able to get past all three of them.   
  
It didn't really matter where she went anyway, they were only here to get Duo and Quatre. He looked to the door the girl had pointed out. "So, should we believe her?" Wufei asked.  
  
"We have no choice." Trowa answered, knowing that it was the truth. Her information was the only lead they had to go on.  
  
"We'll split up here." Heero said. "Trowa and I will go down to the basement. Wufei, you set the explosives and get any remaining people out of this building. We don't need any innocent people getting hurt."  
  
Wufei nodded and walked away, as Trowa and Heero made their way to that door. Heero kicked it open, not even bothering to check if it was locked or not. Trowa didn't see anybody, just a set of stairs. The two of them quickly walked downstairs, their guns always ready.  
  
Only minutes later, they reached another door. And Heero once again kicked it open. There was a long hallway before them. But again, they didn't see any people. However, Trowa did notice that there was one open door.  
  
"Look." Trowa said, pointing toward the open door.  
  
"I see it. Should we check it out?" Heero replied.  
  
"Might as well, someone must have opened it." Trowa answered, taking a step out into the hallway.  
  
They approached the open door slowly, Trowa expecting at any minute that someone would jump out at them. But of course, that was a natural reaction. When raised by mercenaries, you tend to believe that there is always someone ready to ambush you.  
  
Trowa reached out, pushing the door open all the way. At the sight before him, his legs gave way and he slumped to the floor, nearly passing out from the shock. Lying on an old mattress across from the door and covered slightly by a thin blanket, was his beloved Quatre. His beautiful blue eyes were staring up at the ceiling above him, his pale face expressionless and blank.  
  
"Oh, God, no." Trowa mumbled, pushing himself up and stumbling over to his angel's side.   
  
Quatre looked dead, lying there so still. Trowa reached out, pressing his fingers to Quatre's throat, praying to a God he didn't believe in that his love was still alive. Tears burned the corners of his eyes and he sighed in relief when he found the pulse, weak but persistent. But within that relief was a new terror. His Quatre was not responsive in any way. He didn't blink, didn't make a single move, nothing.   
  
"Quatre?" Trowa said, his mind bordering on sheer panic. What had happened? How much suffering had he sensed?  
  
But there was no answer.   
  
Trowa grabbed Quatre's shoulders, frantically shaking him. He desperately wanted him to snap out of it, to do something, anything to tell Trowa that he heard him. "Quatre?! Answer me! Please!" He begged, his tears now falling freely from his eyes.  
  
A hand grabbed his shoulder from behind, pulling hin back away from Quatre. "Trowa, calm down. Quatre does not need to feel any more negative emotions right now. You have to get control of yourself." Heero said.  
  
Trowa took several deep breaths, knowing that Heero was right. He had to calm down, if only for Quatre's sake. He looked to his blonde angel, trying to suppress the hatred that boiled within him, the hatred for that bastard that had hurt Quatre so terribly.  
  
He took hold of one of Quatre's hands, and noticed that it was balled into a fist. He looked down at it carefully. Something white was sticking out from between his fingers, a piece of paper. Trowa carefully opened his hand, frowning when he felt no resistance, and took out what Quatre had held. It was a small note and two keys.  
  
Quickly, he read the note. "Duo is at the end of the hall. Hurry! Jack is going to kill him!" It was signed, "A Friend."  
  
Trowa handed the note and the keys over to Heero, and watched as a hate filled expression crossed the other pilot's face. "You get Quatre out of here." Heero said. He turned. When he got to the doorway, he turned back. "Take care of him, Trowa."  
  
"I will." Trowa answered quietly, hoping that his angel would be able to find his way back sometime soon.  
  
Trowa looked back to Quatre. He slid the backpack he had carried off his shoulders, and opened it, searching around the inside for anything that would be of use. He pulled out the first-aid kit and opened it.  
  
He had seen the blood on Quatre's ear, the bruise on one of his cheeks. That bastard Carl had hurt him, not much physically, but still he had made Quatre suffer. Trowa wanted to beat the crap out of him, to make him pay for everything he had done, not only to Quatre and Duo, but to all those nameless others as well.  
  
Trowa pushed his anger away, forcing it back. He didn't need Quatre to feel his anger, to suffer because of his negative feelings. He took the antiseptic out of the first-aid kit and opened it. He then took some gauze and dampened it with the antiseptic. Carefully, he cleaned the blood off Quatre's throat, off the bite mark in his ear.  
  
Once he was done, he tossed the backpack over his shoulder, after having thrown the first-aid kit back in. Carefully, he lifted Quatre into his arms, keeping the blanket wrapped around his bare body. He left the room, and walked back up the stairs, all the time wishing for Heero to make that bastard pay.  
  
He passed by Wufei on the way out. The Chinese pilot was pushing some kid toward the door, telling him to get out while he still could. But when he saw Trowa, he stopped. "Is he okay?" Wufei asked, gesturing to Quatre's motionless body.  
  
"I don't think so." Trowa answered, keeping the fear and anger out of his voice. "He's not responsive."   
  
"I suggest you get him out of here then. I expect to see him well the next time we meet." Wufei answered, offering the slightest of smiles.  
  
Trowa didn't respond. His only concern was Quatre. He took the Arabian out of the hotel, walking straight to the car awaiting him. Catherine hopped out of the driver's seat and ran around, opening the back door. Trowa said nothing, not even thanking her, as he got into the seat. He let Catherine close the door when he was all the way inside, with Quatre curled up against his body. He held Quatre so gently against himself, as if he would break if Trowa held on too tightly.  
  
She got back into the driver's seat and started the engine. No one said a word as she pulled out onto the street. No one said anything as she drove away from the hotel. All that time, Trowa only stared at his love, gently caressing one of his pale cheeks with his hand, wishing for him to get better soon.  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Duo turned his head, hearing the door opening. His unknown friend had left several minutes ago, saying that he couldn't be caught helping Duo, even if he had only been talking to him. What an odd coincidence, Duo thought. Now that his eyes could focus, that guy was gone. Now he probably would never know who had been so kind to him, who had risked his life to help him by keeping him awake.  
  
Duo's eyes widened, seeing who now stood over him. It was Jack, the bleached blonde punk that had nearly gotten him killed. His one eye was twitching, his hands fidgeting. Apparently, it was almost time for his next scheduled fix. Duo could see that there were mild rope burns on his wrists, probably caused by one of Jack's new, rougher, clients.  
  
"Still alive?" He asked. "I should have made sure you were dead back then."  
  
He brought his foot up, then kicked Duo hard in the side. The force of the kick caused Duo to roll over onto his side, struggling to take in a breath. But he didn't get a chance to breathe, as Jack continued to kick him, over and over again. Finally, after only a few short, but agonizing minutes, Jack stopped. Duo struggled to push himself up, knowing he had to try and defend himself. But yet another kick to his stomach toppled him once again.  
  
"Did I tell you to get up?" Jack hissed, slamming his foot down on Duo's arm. If it hadn't been broken before, it sure was now. Duo heard the loud snap as the bone in his arm broke. He coughed, unable to scream as a wave of fresh pain shot up to his shoulder.  
  
Jack took his foot away. Duo pulled his arm against his chest, coughing, gasping for breath, the pain in his arm so intense. He felt something warm and wet touch his arm, and he looked down at his body. His eyes widened, seeing the blood flowing from his stomach. Jack had kicked him hard enough, and so many times, that he had reopened that surgery incision that had been healing.  
  
Jack leaned over him, dangling something before his eyes. Duo looked up, seeing the rope that Jack waved in front of his face. Jack walked around Duo, standing behind him. He pulled Duo up by his hair, lifting him to his knees. Duo shuddered, hearing the sound of a zipper being undone. He fought against the scream that ached to be let out as Jack pushed up into him.  
  
"I hate being tied down, Duo. And that's what all those clients do." Jack said, as he used Duo's body. "My father used to tie me down. Used to tie me down when he wanted me for his own pleasure. But I killed him. Just like I'll kill you."   
  
Duo gasped, feeling the rope being wrapped around his throat. "No." Duo mumbled, before the rope was tightened, before any other words he wanted to say were stopped.  
  
"This was the rope he used, my father." Jack said, still pleasuring himself with Duo's broken body. "And this was the rope I killed him with. I saved it, never knew why. But now I'm glad I did." With that last word, he pulled the rope even tighter, cutting off all air.  
  
Duo lifted his one good hand, trying to pry the rope away from his throat, but he just couldn't do it. His fingers kept slipping away from the rope. He kept losing his grip. Duo struggled for air, but couldn't take in a single gasp. And soon, his vision started going dark.  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Heero walked down the hallway. He had just left Trowa in that room where they had found Quatre. Heero had seen the condition the blonde was in. He knew that it must have taken a great deal of suffering to make him retreat into his own mind like that. He must have been feeling so much, too much for him to handle. And if Quatre was in that condition, then Duo must be worse, maybe even dead by now. Heero prayed that he wasn't too late. Who knew how long ago that note had been left?  
  
Heero quickened his pace, deciding that he couldn't waste any time. Duo needed him. And whoever had hurt him, had to pay, had to die for all he had done.   
  
Heero stopped, staring for a second at the door in front of him. It was the last door at the end of the hall. Hopefully this was the one he was looking for. He pulled out the keys that had been found along with the note. One key was smaller, obviously not for the lock on this door, so he shoved it into his pocket. Then he pushed the remaining key into the lock. Once unlocked, he took a breath, preparing himself for the worst, hoping he would find Duo alive.  
  
He turned the doorknob, pushing the door open. His heart nearly stopped as he looked into the room, seeing what lay before him. Duo's body was horribly beaten, his bruised face almost unrecognizable. If not for the long chestnut hair, Heero might not have realized it was him. A man was standing behind Duo, raping him, strangling him. He hadn't noticed Heero yet. The man's eyes were closed, his attention probably more focused on the pain he was causing Duo, than on the man that stood in the doorway.  
  
As Heero stood there, his body unable to move from the shock of seeing his love being hurt so badly right before his eyes, Duo's eyes closed shut. He had been pulling at the rope that was cutting off his source of air. But now, his fingers slipped away from the rope around his neck. His hand fell limply, just dangling there a few inches above the ground, swaying as that bastard continued to use him.  
  
Heero leapt forward, the rage inside of him exploding. He dropped his gun, not caring where it landed, and grabbed that bastard. He pulled him away from Duo and down to the floor, hitting him over and over again, not giving him a chance to attempt to defend himself. Heero didn't hear anything, didn't see anything, but the bastard that had hurt Duo. He didn't know how long he had punched him, how many times he had struck that hideous face, and it truly didn't matter. He had to die for hurting Duo, for ever causing him to suffer.   
  
Heero's hands found their way around the bleached-blonde punk's throat, showing him the same treatment he had given Duo by forcing all air out of him. The man struggled against him, but it was no use, Heero already had the upper hand. Heero kept squeezing, not stopping until he heard a distinctive snap, telling him that the man's neck was broken.   
  
And even after he knew that the man was dead, he didn't stop. Tears formed in his eyes, falling onto the lifeless body beneath him. Heero's hands were still around the man's throat, his fingers still digging deep into the skin of his neck. The man's death had been too easy. He should have suffered more, should have felt more pain. It was too easy.  
  
Something at the edge of his perception moved, and Heero turned. Heero gasped in delight, seeing that Duo was still alive. His eyes were still closed, but he was reaching up, moving his hand toward the rope that was tightly wrapped around his throat.  
  
Heero let go of that bastard he had just killed, and half stumbled, half crawled, over to Duo's side. He pulled a knife from his pocket, flipping it open quickly. Just as quickly, he pulled the rope slightly away from Duo's throat. But he moved carefully as he cut off the rope, not wanting to risk hurting Duo.   
  
He pulled the rope from around Duo's neck, and laid the knife on the floor. Then quickly, he pulled that other key from his pocket, unlocking the shackle around Duo's ankle. Gently, he shook Duo's shoulder, trying to rouse him as gently as possible. Heero didn't want to hurt him, he already looked to be in so much pain.  
  
Duo's eyes slowly opened. He looked up at Heero, fear reflected in their cobalt depths. It was as if he weren't seeing Heero, as if he thought he was somebody else. Duo pushed him away, pressing his own body against the wall behind him, as he struggled to get away from Heero. He was panicking, his breath ragged, as he whimpered in fear.  
  
"Duo." Heero said, gently grabbing Duo's shoulders. "It's me, Duo. It's Heero."   
  
Duo looked up at him, as if examining him closely. His eyes squinted, but at least he had stopped his struggles. He reached out with a shaky hand, touching one of Heero's cheeks with his fingers, as if to make sure that Heero was truly there. "Heero?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper, sounding gravelly.  
  
"It's me." Heero replied.  
  
An instant later, Duo threw himself at Heero, wrapping his one arm around him, holding him as tightly as he possibly could. Heero could feel the tears against his shoulders, the shivering of Duo's beaten body. He wrapped his own arms around Duo carefully, afraid to hold too tightly.   
  
After letting Duo calm down a little, Heero gently pushed him away. Duo was looking at him with fear in his eyes, as if trying to understand why Heero wouldn't hold him. "It's okay Duo." Heero tried to reassure him. "I just want to make sure that you're all right. Then we can leave. Okay?"  
  
"No." He struggled to say, his voice hoarse and cracking. "Quatre?"  
  
"Trowa got him out." Heero said, then his mind immediately thought of the condition they had found the blonde in. "What the Hell happened to him?"  
  
Duo was crying, his tears falling from his chin as he fought to speak. "Carl . . . found out . . . that he was an empath . . . He . . . made him . . . watch." He shivered, pulling Heero closer to him. "It's so cold."  
  
Heero's eyes widened, hearing what had happened to the blonde. But he kept his arms around Duo, pushing his rage down. He didn't want to scare Duo, didn't want him to think that he was mad at him. All his rage was directed toward Carl, to that bastard that had hurt Duo and Quatre. Heero wanted to find him and make him suffer, but Duo was more important at the moment. He had to keep the long-haired pilot calm, had to get him out of this place soon.  
  
After a few moments, he gently pushed Duo away once again. "I just want to take a look at your wounds. Okay?"  
  
Duo nodded.  
  
Heero laid him down on the floor, wanting to get a look at as much of him as he could. Duo's body trembled, as Heero looked him over.  
  
Heero frowned, seeing all the bruises, all the cuts and scratches. Duo's left arm was broken, and the surgical incision in his abdomen had reopened. Heero pulled the backpack from off his shoulders, and pulled out the first-aid kit from inside.  
  
He knew he had to stop that bleeding, or at the very least try. If he didn't do anything, Duo wouldn't make it back to the safe house. He pulled out some gauze, then helped Duo to sit up. He wrapped the gauze around Duo's body tightly, trying to stop the flow of blood. Duo gasped at the pain, but didn't move away, didn't try to stop him.  
  
Then Heero turned his attention to the broken arm. It must hurt like hell, he thought as he looked at it. "This is going to hurt." Heero said as he lifted the broken limb. "You ready?"  
  
Duo nodded.   
  
Heero placed his hands on either side of the break and quickly pulled on the arm, setting the bone. Duo flinched, his whole body going rigid for a moment before he fell limply to his side, unconscious. Heero caught him as he fell, lowering him slowly to the floor, as he still held on to Duo's arm so that he wouldn't have to set it again. Quickly, he pulled items out of the first-aid kit, creating a makeshift splint. It would be good enough for now, at least until they could get to Sally and have her make him a new cast.  
  
As Heero was throwing things back into the bag, Duo's eyes fluttered open. His eyes darted around wildly for a moment, until they finally settled on Heero. He reached out to Heero, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to him. Heero frowned, seeing Duo so scared of being alone, thinking that Heero would have left him in this awful place. Heero held him gently, waiting for him to calm down again.  
  
"So, this is the sweet-eyed Japanese boy that has your heart. He doesn't look like much to me." Someone said from behind him.   
  
Heero turned and faced the unknown man, feeling Duo begin to tremble even more as he pressed himself even closer to Heero's body. "Carl." Duo shuddered, digging his fingers into the back of Heero's shoulder as his body shook.  
  
Heero's eyes narrowed in hatred as he watched the man walk into the room, a gun in his hand. Heero regretted tossing his own gun away, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He would just have to wait for an opportunity to kill this bastard, without risking Duo's safety.   
  
Heero stood as Carl approached them, keeping his body in front of Duo. He couldn't let Duo get hurt, not by this man, not again. He had to protect him, even if it meant getting himself killed in the process.   
  
Carl smiled, "I guess I can see it now." He said, his eyes looking Heero over from top to bottom and then back up. "He has a sort of dark beauty . . . dangerous . . . almost like a wild panther ready to strike. He could make me a great deal of money. There are people who would pay for such beauty . . . "  
  
"I'd never do anything for something as disgusting as you." Heero spat, interrupting Carl. He didn't want to hear any more. It was bad enough that he was in the same room as this monster.  
  
Carl stood in front of Heero, his eyes staring deep into Heero's. Without saying a word, Carl raised his hand. He brought the back of that hand down across Heero's cheek, causing his head to jerk slightly to the right. Heero didn't even flinch at the slap, it only stung a little.   
  
However, Heero's eyes widened, as Carl's hand traveled over his chest, moving down along the front of his body. Heero didn't move, not wanting this bastard to hurt Duo instead. If this had to happen for him to save Duo, then so be it. He would sacrifice his own life if it meant Duo would get out of this alive.  
  
Heero struggled to keep his breath normal, completely disgusted by the man that was touching him. However, when Carl's fingers dipped underneath the waistband of Heero's shorts, Heero lost control. He violently shoved Carl away, for a moment not thinking of the possible consequences of his actions. He was just so totally disgusted that he had to get that man away from his body.  
  
"Feisty, huh? I like that. It'll be so much more fun to break you in." Carl smiled, evilly.  
  
Carl took one step, and then a loud bag rang out. Heero looked at Carl, his mouth hanging open, as he saw the bleeding gunshot wound in the man's chest. There were several more shots, the bullets all hitting Carl in the chest before he had a chance to fall dead to the floor.  
  
Heero looked down at Duo, watching as the American repeatedly pulled the trigger, not stopping even after all the bullets were gone. Heero hadn't even realized that Duo had picked up his gun, hadn't even known where he had dropped it himself.  
  
He knelt beside Duo, listening to the clicking sound as Duo continued to pull the trigger on the empty weapon. His eyes were staring at Carl, and he was speaking, babbling in a raspy voice. "I couldn't let Carl do that. Heero didn't do anything to deserve that. He couldn't hurt Heero. I couldn't let him." He continued on like that, just going on and on.  
  
Heero laid his hands on Duo's, prying the gun away from his trembling fingers. He reached over to the backpack, and pulled out a blanket. Quickly, he wrapped it around Duo's shoulders, knowing he couldn't waste any time. He had to get Duo out quick. He was obviously going into shock.  
  
Heero slung the backpack over his shoulders, then lifted Duo into his arms. As he walked past Carl's dead body, Duo leaned over and spat on it. "I told you I'd kill you." Duo whispered.  
  
Heero just kept walking, looking down at Duo every few seconds. After walking a short way, Duo slipped into unconsciousness. Heero wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Hopefully, Duo would survive this. He didn't want to lose Duo now.  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
  
Wufei stared at the doors to the hotel, wondering if Heero had found Duo yet. He turned the detonator over in his hands, waiting impatiently. He remembered how Quatre had looked, staring at nothing, his eyes vacant. How much suffering had he witnessed? How much had it taken to drive his mind away? Wufei hoped that Heero had found that Carl person and killed him.  
  
Wufei's thoughts were broken as he saw Heero walk out of the hotel, carrying Duo in his arms. There was a distinct hand print on Heero's cheek. Someone had obviously hit him. And whoever it had been was probably dead now.   
  
Wufei then looked at the American, a frown spreading across his face, as he saw the condition of his friend. Duo was covered in bruises and wounds. There was a deep red mark around his throat where his skin had been rubbed raw, most likely by a rope of some kind. That would turn into a nasty bruise soon.  
  
He opened one of the doors to the backseat. Heero carefully climbed in, holding Duo protectively against his body. Once both were inside, Wufei closed the door. He turned and walked around the other side of the car.   
  
As he looked up at the hotel again, he pressed the button on the detonator. An instant later the hotel was destroyed by a massive implosion. A cloud of dark smoke and dust filled the sky, as the building crumbled. Wufei knew just how to set explosives so that an implosion was made. It seemed appropriate in this circumstance, no innocent people needed to get hurt when the building was destroyed. He had made sure to get the people out as he was setting the explosives. Hopefully, he hadn't missed anybody. But it was too late to dwell on that thought. The building was already destroyed.  
  
Quickly, he climbed into the driver's seat. "How is he?" Wufei asked, looking in the rearview mirror to see Heero's face.  
  
"Not good. He's gone into shock." Heero replied, his voice filled with worry.  
  
Wufei didn't waste a second. He started the car and sped away from what remained of the hotel. Duo needed medical assistance, and only Sally could help. They had to get back to the safe house quickly.  
  
As he drove, Wufei heard Heero talking. "Don't you leave me, Duo." He whimpered. Wufei glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed a tear fall from Heero's eye. "Don't leave me, not after all we went through getting together. If you die, I'll die."  
  
"No." Duo mumbled, as he slowly pulled himself back into consciousness.  
  
Wufei split his attention between the road ahead of him and the pilot in the backseat. Duo flailed out, his one hand colliding with Heero's face. Heero merely grasped the hand, holding it in one of his own, as Duo continued to move around. He thrashed about, trying to get out of Heero's grasp, as if Heero was hurting him in some way. Wufei stopped the car, deciding that he had better help Heero before Duo hurt himself further.  
  
He leaned over the backseat, grabbing the bag that Heero had beside him on the seat. He reached in, pulling out a syringe and a small glass bottle. Without wasting a moment, he unwrapped the syringe and filled it with liquid from the bottle, then he finished preparing the needle.  
  
As he grabbed Duo's arm, the American cried out, his voice raspy and fear-filled. "No, Carl, please don't." He whimpered, thrashing about in an attempt to get away from both Heero and Wufei.  
  
"He's delirious." Wufei commented, although he hadn't needed to say it. It was plainly obvious. "He still thinks that Carl has him."  
  
Wufei struggled to hold on to Duo's arm as the pilot fought against him. He pushed the needle into his arm, injecting the liquid into him. Hopefully, it wouldn't take too long for the sedatives to work. Duo did not need to hurt himself further with his own actions. He was hurt badly enough as it was.  
  
Slowly, Duo calmed down, his eyelids closing once more. "Heero?" He whispered as sleep overtook him. "Where are you? Why won't you save me?"  
  
Wufei noticed the frown spreading across Heero's face. But he had nothing to say, nothing that could offer even the tiniest bit of comfort to the other pilot. So, instead, he just turned around, taking his place in the driver's seat and once again starting the car.  
  
"I'm right here, Duo." Heero said, as Wufei pulled out onto the road. "You're safe now."  
  
But Duo was already asleep by then, murmuring a few last sentences before he completely slipped into unconsciousness. "No, Carl. Please don't make Quatre watch. He doesn't need to see me like this." He said, his words trailing off, becoming so quiet that Wufei almost hadn't heard.  
  
Inwardly, Wufei fumed, wishing he could have beaten that Carl bastard himself. Duo and Quatre were his friends, and no one hurt his friends without being punished severely. Hopefully, Heero had killed him, shown him just the smallest bit of the treatment he had shown Duo.  
  
Wufei turned his attention back to the road, and pressed his foot down on the accelerator. No need to worry about getting a ticket. Only Duo's health mattered at the moment. Hopefully they would get back in time to save him. He was in serious need of medical attention.   
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
  
  
Carl and Jack may be dead, but that doesn't mean the story's over. There's still one more part to go. Please, Review.  



	15. Part Fifteen

Disclaimers: I only own David. The rest don't belong to me.  
  
Author's notes: Here it is, the final installment of Painful Memories. And thanks once again to Tenshi-Chan for all your help. I truly appreciate all your assistance. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
Painful Memories  
Part 15  
  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Wufei slowed the car to a stop outside the safe house. He glanced in the rearview mirror, once again checking on the welfare of his friends. Duo still lay curled up against Heero, who held him so carefully in his arms, as if he were afraid that Duo would shatter if he held too tightly. Heero's eyes were red-rimmed from all his tears and half-closed, his entire body telling Wufei that he was exhausted. It was only by sheer will that Heero had stayed awake so long, obviously not wanting to take his eyes from Duo for a second.  
  
"We're here." Wufei stated, opening the door and stepping out. He opened the back door for Heero, offering a hand of help.  
  
Heero just shook his head, saying, "No, I can do it myself."  
  
"Fine. But I am here to help." Wufei replied, respecting Heero's wishes, even though he saw how tired the pilot looked.  
  
Heero got out, still cradling Duo against his body. Wufei walked ahead of him, rushing to the front door to open it for them. He looked back, frowning as he saw Heero swaying with each step he took. Heero didn't look as if he could continue for much longer. Wufei might have to step in and help, whether Heero wanted his assistance or not, if it became necessary.  
  
Heero walked past him, into the safe house. Wufei followed close behind, shutting the door once he was inside. He heard a gasp and looked up. Sally stood over the portable gurney that they must have set up while Wufei and the pilots were rescuing Duo and Quatre. It was in the center of the living room, and Wufei didn't remember it being there when he had left.  
  
Sally looked furious, her hands tightly clutching her crutches once again. However, the gasp he had heard hadn't come from her. It had come from Hilde, who stood to Sally's side. Her hand was at her face, obviously fighting back her tears. Relena stood next to her. However, she looked far calmer then either of the other two women.   
  
Heero carried Duo over to the gurney, laying him down as gently as possible. "Take care of him." Heero said. Then he promptly fainted, all the stress of the night finally catching up with him.   
  
Wufei rushed forward, catching Heero before he hit the ground. "I will take him upstairs." Wufei stated.  
  
Sally only nodded, as she pulled the blanket away from Duo's body and examined the wounds. "Hurry down. I might need your help."  
  
Wufei slung Heero over his shoulder, and quickly climbed the stairs. He glanced to Heero's door, then turned, deciding instead to take the pilot into what had been Duo's room. Maybe the lingering scent of Duo would be of some comfort to Heero. This was really the only thing Wufei could do for Heero, try and make him as comfortable as possible while Duo's wounds were tended to.  
  
He dropped Heero onto the bed, carefully. Then he covered the unconscious pilot with the blankets. There was nothing else he could do. Besides, he had to get back downstairs and help Sally with Duo.  
  
When he turned back to the door, he saw David standing there. He still clutched that bear in his arms. "What are you doing awake?" Wufei asked.  
  
"I couldn't sleep." David answered. He pointed to Heero. "What happened to him?"  
  
Wufei offered a slight smile. "He was just tired. But he will be fine." He gently ushered David out of the room, and back to his own. "Now, go back to sleep."  
  
"What's going on downstairs?" David asked, as he climbed back into bed. "Did you find your friends?"  
  
Wufei covered him with the blankets. "Yes." Wufei smiled. "Trowa took Quatre with him. We are trying to help Duo right now. That is what is going on downstairs."  
  
"They were hurt?" David asked, sounding concerned.  
  
"Yes." Wufei sighed. "Now I must go. Sally needs my help."  
  
David sat up. "Can I help?"  
  
"No. Duo is very badly hurt. I would not want you to see him in that condition. It would be best if you stay up here."  
  
David looked down at the bed. "Okay." He whispered, his voice sounding dejected.  
  
Wufei turned away and left the room, rushing downstairs. When he got down there, he saw Duo lying on the gurney, just where Heero had placed him. Sally was leaning over him, examining the wounds on his body. Hilde was behind Sally, holding her up, since she couldn't really use her crutches and examine Duo at the same time. And Relena was standing by the medical instruments, ready to hand Sally whatever she needed.  
  
Wufei sighed, dreading what was to come. Duo needed surgery, that incision in his stomach had reopened and there might be some internal bleeding. Slowly, Wufei walked over to Sally, wondering what she would need his help with.   
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Trowa looked down at the angel he cradled in his arms. The blonde was catatonic, not responsive in any way. If only they had reached the hotel earlier, if only they had discovered where Carl had taken them sooner, maybe they could have gotten there before this had happened.  
  
Trowa looked up from gazing at his love, wondering just how much longer it would be until they arrived at their destination. They had already been driving for several hours. In the back of his mind, he also worried about Duo, wondering if Heero had been able to save him.  
  
"We're almost there, Trowa." Catherine said, a fake smile on her face.  
  
"Thanks." Trowa replied, glad that she had come. If he had come alone, then who would have held Quatre, who would have taken care of him?  
  
He looked back to Quatre, wishing that the blonde's eyes would focus on something or at the very least blink. But there was nothing. His consciousness was gone, retreated deep into his mind. Trowa felt a tear on his cheek, but thoughtlessly brushed it away, trying to keep his emotions buried. Quatre would need him to stay strong. Trowa couldn't let negative emotions hurt Quatre any further.  
  
Only minutes later, they drove through the gates of one of Quatre's many estates. Trowa knew that this was a place where Quatre could recover, if he recovered. Everyone here probably already knew of his empathic abilities and had experience in dealing with it.  
  
"We're here, Quatre." Trowa said, as Catherine stopped the car. "You're home."  
  
Catherine opened the door for him, and he climbed out, still cradling Quatre against his body. He looked up at the sky, noticing that the sun was beginning to set beyond a lake that was on the grounds of the estate. "It's beautiful here, Quatre." He said, trying to get through to him. "The sun is setting. There are pinks and golds, spreading across the sky. I wish you could see it."  
  
Trowa heard Catherine, as she stepped beside him. She was struggling to stop her tears, to keep her emotions back. It wasn't easy for her to block out all the pain. Of course, it wasn't easy for Trowa anymore, not after all that Quatre had done to help him, all the love he had shown him to bring him out of his shell.  
  
Rasid walked out of the front doors, quickly approaching Trowa. Trowa wondered why the man was here. Didn't he have a group of men to lead? "What are you doing here?" Trowa asked, his arms aching from holding Quatre for so long. But he wouldn't let go, couldn't let go, not now.  
  
"I called him." Catherine said.   
  
Trowa turned to her. "When? How did you know his number?"  
  
"Quatre once told me that if there was ever an emergency, I could contact him through Rasid." Catherine answered. "So, when I was upstairs packing your stuff, I decided to call. Rasid deserved to know."   
  
Trowa looked back at Rasid as the man asked. "What happened to Master Quatre?"  
  
Trowa grimaced, not wanting to discuss this now. He had to get Quatre inside. He had to get him into something warm, check for other injuries. "Not now." Trowa replied, walking around Rasid to go inside.  
  
He carried Quatre right upstairs, going straight to the room he knew was Quatre's. He and Quatre had spent sometime here once, not too long ago. Trowa still remembered how to get around the large house.  
  
He laid the blonde down on the bed and pulled that thin blanket away from his body. Carefully, Trowa checked Quatre's body for injuries, hoping he wouldn't find any. He sighed in relief when all he found was that bite on his ear and the bruise on his cheek. At least there were no signs of sexual assault. But that was of little consolation, considering that his angel was just a hollow shell that would slowly waste away if he didn't come to his senses.  
  
Trowa left Quatre's side, although he hadn't really wanted to. He went into the bathroom, preparing a bath for Quatre. He had to get him cleaned up and into some clothes. He walked back over to the bed and scooped Quatre into his arms, carrying him back into the bathroom.   
  
He took his time washing Quatre, carefully scrubbing away all the dirt from his body. Last he washed his hair, all the time making sure that Quatre didn't fall over. He wasn't absolutely sure if Quatre could stay sitting up without help, and Trowa wasn't about to take that chance just yet. Then he drained the water out of the tub and reached over to grab a towel.  
  
"Quatre, please say something . . . Do something." Trowa pleaded as he wrapped the towel around Quatre and lifted him from the tub.  
  
Once again, Trowa placed Quatre on the bed, this time in a sitting position. As he began drying Quatre off, Rasid walked into the room. Trowa didn't take his eyes from Quatre, didn't stop drying him off, as the large man walked over to a dresser and opened one of the drawers. He pulled out a pair of Quatre's silk pajamas.  
  
Rasid walked over and dropped the white garments on the bed beside Quatre. He laid a hand on Quatre's dripping wet hair. "What happened to Master Quatre?" He asked, repeating his earlier question.  
  
Trowa sighed, deciding that he better tell him now. He started with the beginning, telling him about Duo's disappearance, although he left out a few things like why Duo had left. That really was none of Rasid's business. Then he went on to talk of Duo being found and how the American's lack of recovery had begun to steadily wear down Quatre's health. He told Rasid of Duo and Quatre being kidnapped. Then finally, he told him of how he had found Quatre in that room, just staring blankly into space.  
  
"He's retreated into his own mind, because he couldn't stand to feel all of that suffering anymore." Trowa said, as he finished speaking.   
  
All while he had been speaking, Trowa had been dressing Quatre. He had needed to do something with his hands, to keep himself distracted, to keep his emotions away. Now, with Quatre cleaned and dressed, he laid Quatre on the bed, pulling the blankets up to his chest.  
  
A firm hand grasped his shoulder and he looked back to see Rasid standing behind him, his face full of distress. But then he spoke, "If anyone can bring Master Quatre out of this, it would be you. I can see the affection you feel for him in your eyes. You must love him a great deal."  
  
Trowa nodded, finding himself to be suddenly mute.  
  
"I will have the servants stay out of your way. I do not need their emotions interfering with his recovery. If you need anything, just call me." Rasid said. He took his hand away and turned, leaving the room.  
  
Trowa looked down at his beloved Quatre. He lifted one of his hands, holding it gently. "I'll help you, Quatre. No matter how long it takes. I won't leave your side."  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Heero awakened, wondering where he was, and what had happened. Then in a flash, everything came back to him. Rescuing Duo, bringing him back to the safe house. It was all so clear in his mind now.   
  
He jumped from the bed he had been laying in, instantly regretting moving so quickly. His head throbbed in pain, his legs nearly gave out on him. He had to grab the bed to keep from falling over, as everything around him began to spin.  
  
"I don't think you should be getting up so fast." A timid voice commented from the doorway.  
  
Heero turned, his eyes focusing on David after a moment. "What happened?" He asked, wondering why he felt so lightheaded.  
  
"Wufei brought you up here yesterday afternoon. He said you were tired. Then Ms. Sally came up here and stuck a needle in your arm because she said you needed sleep."  
  
Heero narrowed his gaze in anger, but at the sight of David flinching, he pushed his anger aside, not wanting to frighten the boy again. He had learned that lesson earlier, when he had so rashly let his anger flash out in frustration, slamming his fist on the dining room table. The boy had run away from him then, to hide somewhere in the house. It had made him feel so horrible, knowing he had terrified the boy so much.  
  
"Who's the guy with the long hair?" David asked, after a few moments.  
  
"Duo." Heero gasped, remembering the condition the American had been in when he had found him. "Do you know where he is?"  
  
"Yeah." David answered. "Right across the hall."  
  
Heero swiftly walked out of the room, not even stopping as a wave of dizziness struck him. He crossed the hall, quickly opening the door and walking into what had been his room. Sally was standing there, beside a hospital bed in which lay Duo. They must have brought the bed up last night, Heero thought. But the thought was quickly pushed aside, as his heart raced in fear and worry.  
  
Duo looked positively horrible, his face covered in bruises and wounds, his body wrapped in bandages. Heero could hear the beeping of a heart monitor that Sally was busy fiddling with. He could see all the tubes and wires sticking in and out of Duo. An IV dripped fluid into one of his arms, and a tube was shoved down his throat to keep him breathing.  
  
Sally turned, and smiled slightly. "Heero, what are you doing out of bed?" She asked as she approached him, using her crutches to walk.  
  
"How is he?" Heero asked, not bothering to answer her question.  
  
Sally's smile disappeared, her tone dejected. "I won't lie to you, Heero. It doesn't look too good. While we were operating, he stopped breathing and I found it necessary to hook him up to a ventilator. But the longer he hangs in there, the better his chances."  
  
"Can I . . ." Heero started, but his voice caught in his throat.  
  
"I'll leave you alone." Sally said, stepping past Heero. "If you need anything, just call me."  
  
Heero didn't reply. He just stepped further into the room, closer to the bed. Tentatively, he reached out and laid his hand on one of Duo's, frowning at how cold that hand felt.   
  
"I'm sorry, Duo. I should never have gone on that mission. I shouldn't have left you." Heero whispered, a silent tear falling from his eye as he watched the face of his love, hoping for him to awaken.  
  
"Will he be okay?" David asked from behind Heero.  
  
Heero turned, wiping the tear from his eye, to face the young boy. "I don't know." He answered.  
  
Heero watched curiously, as David took in a deep breath. Slowly, David approached him. When he was only a few inches away, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around Heero, pulling him into an apprehensive hug. After only a few seconds David pulled away and ran back to stand in the doorway once again.  
  
Heero appreciated the show of trust. That simple, and short, action by the timid boy, showed Heero that he was beginning to trust him. It cheered him up far more than a hug from any member of the Maguanac Core, or even from Relena, would.  
  
"What was that for?" Heero asked, staring intently at the timid boy.  
  
"You looked like you could use a hug." David replied. "Feel better?"  
  
"Yes." Heero smiled slightly. "Thank you."  
  
"David?" Wufei's voice called out from the hallway. A moment later, the Chinese pilot stepped into the doorway, right behind David. "David, it is time for you to eat. Hilde has made lunch for you."  
  
"Okay." David replied. He turned and stepped past Wufei, leaving the room.  
  
Wufei looked over at Heero. "I did not know you were awake." Wufei said, stepping into the room.  
  
"Yeah, well . . ." Heero replied, not really knowing how to respond to that. He turned back to Duo, gazing at the battered features of the man he loved.  
  
"I am sure Duo will recover. He is a strong person. If anyone can pull through this, Duo can." Wufei said.  
  
"Thank you." Heero said, appreciating Wufei's words. "Could you leave, please? I want to be alone with him."  
  
"Of course. If you get hungry, I am sure that Hilde or one of the others will bring you something. All you have to do is ask."  
  
"No thanks. I'm fine." Heero replied.  
  
"Then I will leave you be." Wufei stated. "I am sure he will be fine."  
  
Heero felt another tear run down his cheek as he looked at Duo. He brushed a stray strand of chestnut hair away from Duo's eyes, hoping that Wufei was right. He didn't know if he could live without the long-haired pilot anymore. Duo brought so much joy to his life, so much excitement. If he died now, what reason would Heero have to live anymore?  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Trowa was kneeling next to Quatre's bed, brushing his fingers through the Arabian's blonde locks. "Please, wake up soon, my Angel." Trowa whispered, placing a gentle kiss on Quatre's forehead.  
  
There was no reply, no answer to Trowa's statement. Quatre remained still, his eyes vacant and staring at nothing. Trowa could only hope that Quatre could hear him, that he was fighting his way back to reality. Hope was all that Trowa had left now.  
  
Someone knocked on the door. "Come in." Trowa said, not looking up as Catherine walked into the room.  
  
"I brought something for Quatre to eat." Catherine said, walking over to the bed, with a bowl of soup in her hands. "It's only chicken broth. Considering the condition Quatre is in, I didn't think it would be wise to bring something that needed to be chewed."  
  
"Thanks." Trowa said. He rose to his feet and carefully lifted Quatre to a sitting position, propping him up against the headboard.  
  
Trowa sat on the edge of the bed. Catherine held a cloth napkin out to Trowa, then set the bowl of soup and a spoon on the bedside table. He once again thanked Catherine as she firmly grasped his shoulder. "He'll be okay." Catherine said with a comforting tone.   
  
Trowa watched her leave, then turned back to Quatre. He placed the napkin over his chest, tucking it up under his chin. He picked up the bowl of soup and the spoon. But he wasn't sure if this would work. Would Quatre eat, or would he have to be given food intravenously?  
  
He sighed as he lifted the spoon the Quatre's mouth, hoping this would work. This was probably about to get very messy.  
  
Trowa dipped the spoon into the soup, then lifted it to Quatre's lips. He was expecting the soup to just spill from Quatre's mouth, seeing as how the blonde was completely catatonic. But to Trowa's delightful surprise, Quatre actually swallowed it, only a few drops falling from the corners of his mouth.  
  
Trowa couldn't contain his happiness about that one small moment. He placed the bowl of soup on the beside table. A single burst of laughter left his mouth as he wrapped his arms around Quatre, knowing that it would probably help Quatre to feel the love and joy coming from Trowa at that moment.  
  
The door flew open and Trowa turned to see Catherine and Rasid burst into the room. "What happened?" Rasid asked.  
  
"He's not as far gone as I thought." Trowa smiled, pulling away from Quatre. "He ate the soup on his own."  
  
Catherine gasped, a smile crossing her face as she covered her mouth with her hand. She and Rasid both crossed the room, coming to stand beside Trowa.   
  
"That is wonderful." Rasid commented.  
  
Catherine took her hand away from her mouth and brushed it affectionately through  
Quatre's hair. Trowa could see the hope on her face, the happiness in her eyes, as well as the affection she felt for Quatre.  
  
"I know he'll come around soon, Trowa. I just know he will." Catherine said positively, still smiling brightly.  
  
"Yeah." Trowa replied, keeping that hope in his heart.  
  
"Hey, I have a great idea." Catherine announced. "We want as many positive emotions around Quatre as we can get, right?"  
  
"Yes. Positive emotions would go a long way in helping Quatre right now. He needs to know that he's safe, around people that care about him and love him, and that no one will hurt him." Trowa replied.  
  
"Then how about we get our circus troupe to come here? That would cheer up so many people. Quatre would pick up on all those emotions, and maybe he'd get better faster." Catherine said.  
  
"Good idea." Rasid said.  
  
"Yeah." Trowa replied.   
  
"I'll get in touch with the Manager. I'm sure he'll come right away." Catherine said. She turned and hastily left the room. Rasid slowly followed her.   
  
Trowa turned back to Quatre and once again picked up the soup bowl and the spoon. He began feeding Quatre once again, a smile on his lips as Quatre repeatedly swallowed the soup. At least he wasn't totally lost. Maybe he would wake up soon. Trowa held onto that hope, not letting himself think anything negative.  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
  
Heero sat on his bed, across from Duo's. He just sat there, staring intently at the unconscious American. Duo had been in a coma for three days now, his body hooked up to various pieces of machinery to keep him alive.   
  
Heero hadn't left his side in those three days, not unless it was absolutely necessary. He hadn't eaten, hadn't slept, nothing. All he did was sit there and watch him, wishing for him to awaken. He couldn't leave Duo now, not when he had failed to protect him.   
  
He totally blamed himself for this. If he had only moved faster in the hotel, that bastard wouldn't have hurt him so badly. That man that had been strangling him, might not have done as much damage if only Heero had done something other than stand in the doorway in a state of shock.  
  
He wiped a stray tear from his eye as he thought of Duo never waking up. He tried to keep hope. But it was so difficult when he saw how badly hurt Duo was.  
  
Once again, he looked over to Duo's bed, and for an instant he thought he saw the other pilot open his eyes a fraction of an inch. But Heero pushed that thought away. Duo was in a coma, it had to have been his imagination.  
  
Then, Duo moved again, and Heero jumped to his feet, knowing that it wasn't his imagination. However, he wasn't happy, because he saw the way Duo was struggling. Duo was coughing all of a sudden, thrashing about on the bed.  
  
Heero nearly panicked. There was something wrong. He called out for Sally, knowing that he needed help. He didn't know what to do. Duo was having some kind of a seizure. He grasped Duo's shoulders, trying to hold him down so that he wouldn't hurt himself further.  
  
Sally rushed in, moving as fast as her crutches could carry her. She pushed Heero aside gently, as she stepped over to Duo's bedside. Heero could only watch with a horrified expression as Sally began to laugh, tears streaming down her cheeks. He couldn't understand what she had found so funny at such a moment.  
  
But then Sally spoke. "He's okay Heero." She said, unhooking Duo from the ventilator. "He was just trying to breathe on his own and the machine was counterproductive in that."  
  
Heero couldn't help it. The tears came forward, as relief swept over him. He laughed once, not knowing why he was doing it. And then the room began spinning. An instant later, he felt himself falling and then there was the sensation of crashing to the floor. But if he felt any pain, it was dulled by the happiness in his heart. Duo was breathing on his own, and that was the last thought that went through Heero's mind before darkness descended on him.  
  
  
********************  
  
  
The next thing Heero was aware of, was a bright light shining in his eye. He turned his head, wondering what had happened, trying to get away from that offensive light. Someone turned his head back, and that light was in his eye once again.  
  
"Are you okay?" Sally's voice asked.  
  
"I will be, once you get that light out of my eyes." Heero replied, trying his best to glare, despite that light she shone in his eye.   
  
After his vision cleared, he saw Sally sitting on the floor beside him, her crutches next to her. It must have taken a great deal of effort for her to get down on the floor.   
  
Then his thoughts returned to Duo. "How is he?" Duo asked, pushing himself up off of the floor and standing. He didn't hesitate and helped Sally to stand.  
  
As she adjusted her weight, so that most of it was on her crutches instead of on Heero, she spoke. "He's sleeping normally now." She said, as she started giggling. "And to think, a boy who never believed in miracles was just the subject of one." Then she added more seriously, "I'll tell you the truth, Heero. I never thought he'd pull through. I'm glad I was wrong."  
  
Heero hadn't really been paying attention to her anymore. If she said anything else, he didn't hear. He stepped over to Duo's bed, looking down at the face he loved so much.  
  
As he watched, Duo's eyes slowly opened, and after a moment focused on him. Heero couldn't speak, knowing that Duo probably hated him. He had heard for himself in the car while bringing him back to the safe house that Duo thought he had abandoned him. His words still rang in Heero's ears, "Heero? Where are you? Why won't you save me?" Duo had asked, as he had slipped into unconsciousness. And Heero knew that Duo hated him, for ever leaving him, for abandoning him when he needed him most, just for some stupid mission.  
  
He watched as Duo opened his mouth to speak, but only a strangled gasp came out. His throat was probably still too sore to speak.  
  
Heero couldn't just stand there anymore. He didn't want to look into Duo's eyes, to risk seeing hate or anger in their cobalt depths. He turned away, knowing that Duo would be better off without him. He left the room, silent tears trailing down his face as he stepped into the hallway.  
  
He quickly walked through the hall, going downstairs as fast as his legs would carry him without running. Just as hastily, he left the house, not answering either Relena or Hilde's questions as to where he was going. He didn't even bother to stop and grab his coat. He just walked outside, and over to a large oak tree.  
  
Heero pulled back his arm, then sent it crashing forward, hitting the trunk of that oak tree. The pain surged up his arm, but he didn't cry out. He was just so angry at himself, so frustrated. Why had he gone on that mission? It had been for nothing, and Duo had needed him at the safe house. He should have stayed behind.  
  
He pulled his hand away from the tree, cradling it against his body. It didn't matter that his fist was throbbing in pain, that blood was dripping from fresh cuts in his knuckles.  
  
He just turned and leaned back, letting himself slump to the ground, his back against the tree. Tears stung his eyes, and this time he let them come. He cried for the love he had lost. Duo would surely hate him now, thinking that Heero had abandoned him. And in Heero's mind, that's just what he had done. He had abandoned Duo when the American had needed him the most. Heero could never forgive himself for that.  
  
"What are you doing out here?" Wufei asked, as he walked toward Heero.  
  
Heero looked up, noticing that David walked beside Wufei, wearing a very loose set of clothing on his body, along with a coat that Heero recognized as Quatre's. It looked as if Catherine had left some clothes behind when she had packed Trowa and Quatre's belongings. It wasn't really a surprise to Heero. Quatre's clothes would fit David the best.   
  
"Nothing." Heero replied, wiping his tears away with the back of one hand. The other remained in a fist, held gently to his own body.  
  
"I do not believe you." Wufei said.  
  
David stepped forward, still holding that bear close to him. "What happened to your hand?" He asked, sounding so innocent.  
  
"It's nothing." Heero said, not wanting to upset the boy.  
  
Wufei stepped over and grabbed Heero's wrist, pulling the bruised hand up so that he could see it. Heero didn't try to take it back. It didn't really matter to him.   
  
"You hit that tree, didn't you?" Wufei asked.  
  
"So what if I did?" Heero said, then he tried to change the subject. "Where are you two going?"  
  
"David needs clothes. He cannot wear Quatre's forever. So we are going shopping." Wufei replied, but then his face grew serious. "Now, do not change the subject again. Why are you out here?"  
  
Heero looked away. "Duo woke up." He sighed, gazing up and watching as a leaf fell from one of the lower branches of the tree.  
  
"Then, I ask again . . . Why are you out here?" Wufei asked, letting go of Heero's hand.  
  
"He hates me." Heero said, a fresh tear escaping his eye.  
  
Wufei frowned, and crouched down beside him. "Did he tell you that?"  
  
Heero didn't turn to look at him. There really was no point. "He didn't need to. I know he hates me. How can he love me after I abandoned him, after I allowed Carl to get him again?"  
  
Wufei's hand grasped his shoulder, and he forced his head to turn. "You did not abandon him. We all had a mission to go on. We had no idea that it was fake, that Carl had set us up. I am sure he does not blame you."  
  
"But . . ." Heero began.  
  
Wufei raised his hand, stopping Heero's words. "If you do not believe me, then see for yourself. Ask Duo, talk to him. If he hates you, then you will know for sure. But if he doesn't, you are only hurting him by doing this, by not being by his side when he needs you."  
  
Heero saw the truth in Wufei's words. If Duo did still love him, then he had just hurt him by leaving like that. He had to go back, had to apologize for the fool he had been. "Thanks." He said, as he stood and walked away.  
  
As he strolled to the house, he heard Wufei speak from behind him. "And have Sally look at that hand."  
  
Heero entered the house, and immediately was stopped by Sally. "Why did you just leave like that?" She demanded, her face contorted in anger. "Do you know what you've done? He's up there crying because of you? Why the Hell did you leave?!"  
  
Heero lowered his head, guilt and shame filling him entirely. He had hurt Duo, definitely this time. "I didn't mean to hurt him." He whispered.  
  
Sally grabbed his wrist, looking at his bruised fist. "You punched something hard, didn't you?" She asked.  
  
"Yes." He replied quietly.  
  
"Come on, I'll bandage it up for you. But then you are going upstairs and apologizing to Duo for what you did." Sally said.  
  
Heero only nodded, and followed as Sally turned and walked over to the couch. She sat, laying her crutches down on the floor as she grabbed the black bag that still sat on the coffee table. She opened it, pulling out gauze and anything else she might need.  
  
As she finished bandaging his hand, she spoke again. "You're very lucky this isn't broken." She commented. "It looks like it's just a bad bruise, with a few minor scrapes."  
  
Heero hadn't really listened to her. Once she let go of his hand, he stood and walked upstairs. He quickly entered the room he and Duo now shared, having every intention of telling Duo how sorry he was. But his voice was stopped as he stepped over to Duo's bedside. The American was asleep, streaks marring his face where his tears had run.  
  
Heero laid his palm against Duo's bruised cheek, hoping he wasn't hurting him with his touch. Duo mumbled something in his sleep, too low for Heero to hear. Heero couldn't help but fear that Duo hated him. He might now, if he hadn't before.   
  
Heero yawned, and for the first time realized just how tired he was. In three days he had gotten no sleep, except for those few minutes when he had lost consciousness, but that could hardly be called sleep.  
  
Hesitantly, he stepped back away from Duo, letting his hand drop to his side. He backed away to his bed, not wanting to take his eyes off of Duo, for fear of losing him forever this time. When the backs of his legs hit the bed, he sat, then lay on his side, always keeping his gaze firmly locked on Duo. And Duo was the last thing he saw as he drifted off to sleep.  
  
  
Chapter Six  
  
  
Duo slowly awakened, pain surrounding and filling him completely. The physical pain of all his injuries was terrible. But even more painful than all of his injuries combined, was knowing that Heero no longer loved him. That knowledge left a horrible ache in his heart.  
  
And he was sure that Heero didn't love him. Why else would he have just walked away like that? Heero was so disgusted with him that he couldn't even look at him. It was plainly obvious.  
  
Duo felt a tear at the corner of his eye, but tried to push the depressing thoughts from his mind. Thinking like that wouldn't be good for his health, and he did want to get better. He wanted to recover. Maybe then he could win Heero's love back, maybe he could do something so that Heero wouldn't hate him anymore.  
  
He turned his head, glancing around the room, at first wondering where he was. Then he realized that he was in Heero's room. Why did Sally have to put him in there? Couldn't she see how much Heero hated him? After a moment of looking around, his eyes settled on the bed across from his, and the form that was lying in it.   
  
There was Heero, sleeping peacefully, in his own bed. Duo couldn't help but notice how beautiful he was. But quickly, he turned away from looking at Heero. It was just too painful to see that face and know how much Heero hated him. He closed his eyes against his own tears, not wanting to disturb Heero's sleep with his sobs.  
  
"Oh, you're awake." A timid voice whispered.   
  
Duo looked to the door, to see a young blonde haired boy standing there. He noticed the resemblance to Quatre, and wondered who he was. In the boy's arms was the bear that had been given to Duo by Relena. But how had that boy gotten it?  
  
He snapped his head to the side, quickly looking to Heero's bed to see if the other pilot had awakened. Duo sighed, seeing that Heero was still asleep, a light snore escaping from his unconscious form.  
  
When Duo turned his head back, he saw that the boy had approached his bed. "I'm David." He said quietly.  
  
Duo opened his mouth, struggling to get the words out. "Where . . . did you . . . come from?" He asked, each choked out word making his throat burn in pain.  
  
"You shouldn't be talking." David whispered, standing right next to Duo's bed. Then David, looked down, keeping his eyes on the floor below him. "Wufei found me, when he was questioning someone about where you were. But before he got there, Nick had already . . ." His words trailed off.  
  
However, Duo didn't need to hear anymore. If this was the same Nick that worked for Carl, then Duo already knew what had happened. Duo reached out, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder, hoping to offer some form of comfort to him. He forced a smile, trying to be reassuring.  
  
David looked up, smiling at Duo. Duo could see a great deal of understanding in David's violet eyes, understanding and suffering, too much suffering in eyes so young. "Do you need a hug?" David asked.  
  
Duo blinked, unsure of just how to react to that. However, the mention of that hug, did make Duo think of Heero. He turned his head, looking longingly at the sleeping pilot. How he wished that Heero would hold him again. Duo missed having those strong arms around his body, holding him close. He missed the warmth of Heero's body against his, the feel of his hot breath on Duo's neck. He let out a long breath, a tear slipping from his eye as memories of Heero's touch ran through his mind.  
  
Duo blinked the memories away and turned back to David. "What?" He gasped, not sure if the boy had said anything else while he had been daydreaming.  
  
"I asked if you needed a hug." David said, then he glanced over to where Heero was sleeping. "He needed one when he got back. I think he still needs one . . . but I don't think he wants it from me."  
  
Duo's brow furrowed as David turned back to him. "Not me, either." Duo gasped, the words barely recognizable. "He doesn't care."  
  
"Yes he does. Mr. Yuy stayed by your side and hasn't really slept since he brought you back. He's also been crying a lot. He doesn't want anyone to know, but I've seen the tears." David replied, his voice quiet. He held the bear out to Duo. "Here, you can have this now. Mr. Yuy said I could borrow it, that it belonged to a friend. I guess you were the friend. Here."  
  
Duo took it slowly, not sure why the boy was doing this. He looked to Heero again, wondering if David was telling the truth. Had Heero stayed by his side all that time? Did he still love him? As he gazed at Heero, he noticed it, the distressed expression on Heero's face, the way his eyes were closed so tightly. His skin was pale, and he looked so tired, even though he was already asleep.  
  
Duo placed the bear beside him on the bed. He then grabbed the side of the bed, and pulled himself up, biting his lip to keep his cries in. Moving even an inch hurt so much, but he had to do this.  
  
"What are you doing?" David asked, holding his hands up in an attempt to stop him.  
  
Duo heard the beeping of the heart monitor increasing in speed, but paid no attention to it. "Help." Duo whispered.  
  
David stepped forward. "This isn't a good idea. You should stay in bed." David replied.  
  
"No." Duo gasped, dangling his legs over the side of the bed.  
  
"Wait." David said.  
  
Duo looked at him, wondering why. Then he watched as David walked over to the heart monitor and switched it off, moving quickly to the other machines and doing the same. "If you're going to get up, you should turn those off first." He said. "Ms. Sally will come running if the alarms start going off."  
  
"How?" Duo asked, wondering how the boy knew what to do with those machines. It wasn't knowledge that every boy had.  
  
"When Papa was in the hospital, he was hooked up to machines like these. I watched the doctors. And then . . ." He paused what he was doing, and stared straight ahead, his eyes brimming with tears. But he didn't continue that sentence. "Come on, I'll help you." He said, plastering a smile on his face as he turned back.   
  
Duo knew a fake smile when he saw one. He had placed enough of them on his own face, but he didn't bring the subject up again. It obviously pained David to speak of it.  
  
David pulled all of those patches from Duo's skin, the ones that connected him to the heart monitor and the other machinery. Duo just sat there, breathing in and out, preparing himself for the pain that would come when he got out of that bed.  
  
"Come on." David sighed, slowly grabbing Duo's arm and helping him out of bed. Duo clenched his teeth shut, the scream within him aching to be let out.  
  
David wrapped his arm around Duo, helping him to walk as much as he possibly could. With his other arm, he pulled Duo's IV along, keeping it close to the both of them.   
  
Each step was agony to Duo. But he kept the cries back. White spots speckled across his vision, everything else growing fuzzy as dizziness washed over him. He tried to hold on. Just a little longer, he thought to himself. He was almost there. He could see the bed in front of him, only a few more steps away. And on that bed was Heero, his warm body seeming to beckon to him although it was out of focus.  
  
Moments later, David helped Duo down onto the bed, making sure that Duo's IV didn't get tangled, or that it was in danger of being pulled from his arm. Duo laid down, pulling his pain filled body as close to Heero's as he could. Behind him, he heard as quiet footsteps headed toward the door, a moment later, also hearing as the door closed shut with the slightest of sounds.   
  
He was pleasantly surprised when Heero's arms gently wrapped around him. He heard Heero's voice and looked into his face to see if he had awakened. He hadn't, but in his sleep he murmured, "Duo."  
  
Duo smiled, so happy to hear that Heero had spoken his name. Maybe Heero still loved him. Slowly, Duo draped his one arm over Heero's side, keeping his broken arm between their two bodies. He curled as close as possible, the pain in his body not as bad as it had been only moments before. He sighed, enjoying the warmth of Heero's body again, loving the feel of Heero against him.   
  
Heero's hot breath brushed across the top of his head as he nuzzled his face into Heero's chest, just under his chin. Hopefully, when Heero woke up, he wouldn't push him away, wouldn't hate him. He prayed that David had been right, that Heero still cared.  
  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
  
Trowa looked up at the sound of the door opening. Catherine walked in, carrying a couple coats in her arms. She laid them on the bed. "I got one for each of you." She said, pleasantly.   
  
Trowa smiled, appreciating her kindness. "Are they all set up out there?" Trowa asked, referring of course, to the circus troupe that had arrived earlier that day. Trowa noticed that she was already wearing her costume. However, Trowa wouldn't be joining in the performance this time. He couldn't leave Quatre's side.  
  
"Yup, just waiting for you to arrive." She replied.  
  
"Come on Quatre, time to get your coat on. They're waiting for us." He smiled, as he grabbed one of the coats and pulled Quatre's arms through the sleeves.  
  
"Oh," Catherine said. "I got some news from Wufei. He says that Duo woke up from his coma."  
  
"I didn't know you were in contact with the safe house." Trowa replied, as he buttoned Quatre's coat.  
  
"Well, I wanted to know how Duo was doing, and I'm sure you did too." She replied.  
  
Trowa smiled. He had been wondering about the American's health, but had been too afraid to ask. If he got bad news, it would only hurt Quatre to feel his sorrow. He was glad to hear that Duo was better, though.  
  
Quickly, Trowa pulled his own coat on, then returned his attention to Quatre. He pulled the blonde to his feet, and was getting ready to sweep Quatre into his arms, when he noticed something. Quatre was standing on his own, he wasn't swaying, didn't seem to be in danger of falling over.  
  
Trowa took hold of Quatre's hands, deciding to try an experiment. Gently, he pulled Quatre forward. Just as he had hoped, Quatre took a step. Trowa resisted the urge to leap up and down, and instead just wrapped his arms around Quatre, tears of happiness falling from his eyes.  
  
He felt Catherine's hand grab his shoulder from behind. Slowly, and reluctantly, he pulled away from Quatre, turning to look at Catherine's smiling face. "Did you see?" He asked, happily.  
  
Catherine reached out and brushed the tears from his cheeks. "Yes." She smiled, a single tear falling from her own eye. "Come on, we don't want to keep everyone waiting too long."  
  
Trowa nodded, and wrapped his one arm around Quatre's waist, while with his other hand he held on firmly to one of Quatre's hands. He led Quatre along, smiling with each step that the Arabian took. But always, when he looked at Quatre, Trowa's gaze traveled up to his vacant eyes. Trowa found it difficult to keep the sorrow away, seeing that the light that used to shine so brightly within Quatre's eyes, was no longer there.  
  
As they walked out of the mansion, Trowa made sure that he didn't move too fast. He really didn't want Quatre to trip because he had rushed him. Trowa saw Rasid holding the door open for them, and they stepped out of the mansion. Trowa stopped next to the large man, and saw a smile form on his lips.  
  
Rasid reached out, and laid his palm against Quatre's cheek. "It's good to see you walking around again, Master Quatre." He said, speaking to the catatonic Arabian.  
  
Rasid took his hand away, as Catherine walked around to face Trowa. "I'll see you two after the show." She smiled, then promptly ran off toward the tent. Trowa followed her more slowly, helping Quatre along. If Rasid was following or not, Trowa didn't care. His attention was solely focused on the blonde Arabian.   
  
They stepped into the tent, and immediately the laughter of children caught his attention. People from the nearest town had been invited to come to the circus, free of charge. The Manager had been against a free performance at first, but then when he met Quatre and saw his condition, he quickly agreed. They did need as many happy people as they could get, and making the show free would definitely bring happy people to it.   
  
He looked out into the ring, and saw a group of clowns doing their act. Quickly, he found a place to sit. As the night wore on, the jovial atmosphere of the circus continued. There were the trapeze artists, the tightrope walkers, and many others all doing their acts. Trowa described each and every performance to Quatre, hoping that this was having a good effect on the catatonic blonde.  
  
"It's Catherine." Trowa said, describing the final act of the evening. He turned, smiling at Quatre who only stared ahead with his vacant eyes.  
  
Trowa watched the performance, with a sense of fascination, while he described it to Quatre. He had never actually seen this for himself before, he was usually a part of the act.   
  
Catherine raised one of the knives. The tension in the tent was almost a physical force as the entire audience held its breath. Then everyone let out a sigh of relief when the person against the board was unharmed by the knives Catherine had thrown in his direction.  
  
Slowly, the crowd began filing out of the tent. Trowa stayed where he was, waiting for the others to leave first, or at least until there weren't so many people making their way out of the door.  
  
"What's wrong with your friend?" A little girl asked, as she stopped in front of Trowa and Quatre.  
  
"He's sick." Trowa replied, smiling down at the girl. "It's sort of like sleeping with his eyes still open."  
  
"Oh." She said. She leaned forward, and placed a tiny kiss on Quatre's cheek. Then she frowned as she moved away. "Why didn't it work?" She asked.  
  
Trowa smiled at her innocence. "He isn't sleeping like in the fairy stories." Trowa said, trying to explain in a way that a child would understand. "An evil warlock tried to take his spirit away, and my friends and I are trying to get it to come back." It was almost the truth, just toned down to make it more understandable to the child.  
  
She giggled, covering her mouth with one hand. "That's silly." She smiled. "How is he going to get better?"  
  
"Your laughter will help him more than your kiss, but I'm sure that kiss didn't hurt." Trowa said.  
  
"Joy?!" A woman's voice called out.  
  
The little girl turned in the direction the voice had come from. "Coming, Mama!" She yelled back. Then she turned to face Trowa again. "I hope he gets better."  
  
"So do I." Trowa replied.  
  
"Bye." Joy smiled. Then the little girl ran off, waving goodbye before she disappeared through the exit.  
  
"Who was that?" Catherine asked as she stepped over to Trowa.  
  
"Just some girl." Trowa replied. He looked up at her, and noticed that the Manager was standing next to her, as were a number of other people from the circus troupe behind the two of them.  
  
"We all just want to extend our hopes that Mr. Winner gets well soon." The Manager said. "He seems like a very nice young man, and we've all noticed how happy he's made you over the past few months. It would be a great tragedy if his kindness was lost to the world."  
  
"Thank you." Trowa replied as he stood. He turned slightly and swept Quatre into his arms, deciding it would be better to carry him this time.   
  
Catherine laid a hand on his shoulder, her other hand brushing through Quatre's blonde locks. "I really wish you had been in the act tonight, Trowa." She said. "It would have been so much easier to pretend that everything was normal if it had been you, instead of the guy we got to replace you. He whimpered every time I threw a knife. I had to concentrate so much harder than usual, not because of that guy, but because I was trying to block out the fact that Quatre is still catatonic."  
  
"It's all right Catherine. I know he's going to get better soon." Trowa replied, still holding on to his hope. "It'll just take time."  
  
"Yeah, you're right." Catherine agreed. "I just wish I could stay longer. But the circus needs to keep moving, and I am one of the main attractions."  
  
"Catherine, I don't mind if you go. If I need anything, there are the servants here, and Rasid will be here for a few more weeks. I'll be fine." Trowa replied, knowing that Catherine did have to go with the troupe when they left in a few days. "Don't worry about me."   
  
Trowa turned and walked away, carrying Quatre back to the house. He didn't listen to Catherine's words anymore, tried to block out the pain of being alone again. Even if Quatre's body was there, Quatre's mind wasn't. And now that Catherine was leaving too, Trowa was losing those closest to him, the two people that knew him best. He'd be alone, surrounded by people that wanted to help, but still alone and taking care of his beloved Quatre.  
  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
  
Heero didn't want to open his eyes, didn't want to wake up. He was in the middle of the best dream he'd had in days. And in that dream, Duo still loved him, didn't blame him for anything.  
  
He let out a deep breath as he decided to face reality, and he opened his eyes. He frowned in puzzlement, wondering why Duo was still in his arms if he were awake. Maybe he was still dreaming. But the body of the American felt so warm against his, so real. It had to be real.  
  
He looked over at Duo's empty bed, wondering how Duo had gotten over to him. It had to have been agonizing for him to even stand, let alone walk the few feet over to Heero's bed. Then Heero saw it, the stuffed bear laying on Duo's bed. David must have helped him. That was the only possible explanation. Heero would have to thank David for this, later.  
  
Almost afraid that the American would vanish, Heero cupped Duo's somewhat bruised face in his one hand. "Duo?" He whispered. Then his breath caught in his throat as Duo's eyes opened. "Duo, why are you here? Shouldn't you be resting in bed?"  
  
Duo's brow furrowed as he looked down at the bed. The expression in his eyes stated plainly that he was resting in bed. Then the look changed to a questioning one, a hint of fear darkening the light in his eyes.  
  
Heero could see the worry and doubt in Duo's eyes. "Stop thinking like that." He said calmly, knowing he couldn't risk hurting Duo's already vulnerable heart. "I am not complaining, and I do want you here." He smiled gently. "I just don't want you to get hurt any more than you already are."  
  
Heero felt all the strain from the past few days ease, when Duo shook his head and simply moved closer. Heero planted a tender kiss on Duo's forehead. "I missed you, and I don't care what J says . . . I'm not leaving you again."  
  
A memory flashed through Heero's mind, of him just walking away from Duo's bed, thinking for sure that Duo hated him. Gently, he pushed Duo away from him, needing to say something to the American. "I am so sorry I just walked out like that when you woke up. I was sure that you hated me. I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you."  
  
Duo opened his mouth to speak. His voice came out as a strangled gasp. "I . . . don't . . . blame . . . you. Love you." He said, struggling for each word, while his hand moved to cover his throat.   
  
Heero laid his fingers against Duo's lips, hushing him. "Don't try to speak." He smiled. "I love you too, Duo."  
  
Duo smiled, and pulled his body back against Heero's, hissing in pain with each movement he made. Heero frowned, not wanting to cause Duo any more pain, but not wanting to hurt him by pushing him away. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around Duo, holding him as gently as possible. After a few minutes, Duo's breathing slowed, his body relaxed, as he fell asleep.  
  
Heero looked up as the door was opened. Hilde stepped into the room, carrying a tray in her arms. "I brought you something to eat." She whispered, as she crossed the room.  
  
"Give me a hand." Heero replied, quietly, gesturing down at Duo's sleeping form. "I want to get him back into his own bed."  
  
Hilde set the tray on the bedside table, and stepped over to help Heero. She supported Duo, keeping him from falling off the bed, as Heero untangled himself from Duo's arms and climbed out. He really didn't want to wake Duo, unless it was absolutely necessary.  
  
Slowly, and carefully, he lifted Duo into his arms. He felt Duo's body take in a sharp breath, and looked down in time to see Duo open his eyes. After a few seconds he focused on Heero, confusion and fear swirling around in the cobalt depths of his eyes.   
  
"This is for your own good, Duo." Heero stated, carrying Duo over to his own bed, while Hilde made sure to bring his IV over. There was no need to pull that from his arm by accident.   
  
"Yeah, Duo." Hilde said. "It's better for your health if you stay in the hospital bed. Besides, the sooner you get better, the sooner you can stay with Heero all night." She smiled.  
  
Duo groaned as he was placed on the bed, his face twisting in pain. Heero hated to see him like that. He took hold of Duo's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as Hilde walked over to the tray for a moment.  
  
"I also brought this for Duo." She said as she walked back over, holding a glass of cloudy water in her hand. "I dissolved some painkillers in water. I thought it would be easier for him to take that way."  
  
Heero took it from her and held it to Duo's lips, helping him to drink it. After only taking a sip, Duo turned away, nearly spilling what was left in the glass. He was making a face that told Heero that the stuff tasted horrible. When Heero tried to get him to drink it again, he moved his head away in a silent refusal.  
  
"Drink it, or else . . ." Hilde said, reaching into her pocket to pull out a syringe. "I just thought that with what you just went through, a needle was the last thing you wanted to see again, so I got Sally to agree to give your medication in pill form." She sighed, then spoke again. "Either you drink it, or I'll have to use the needle, Duo. I did get some medical training and I can give you an injection if I have to."  
  
Duo only glared at her as Heero once again lifted the glass to his lips. This time, however, Duo did drink it. He only stopped a few times to catch his breath as he gulped down the entire drink as quickly as he could.  
  
Once the glass was empty, Heero took it away and handed it over to Hilde. Then he leaned over Duo, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He could taste the medicine that Duo had just drank, mixed with Duo's own taste. He agreed with the face Duo had made, the stuff was terrible.   
  
Duo was smiling when he pulled away from him. "I'll stay here until you fall asleep." Heero promised, taking hold of Duo's hand.  
  
After a few minutes the smile on Duo's face began to fade, as sleep once again overtook him. Once Heero was satisfied that he was indeed asleep, he let go of Duo's hand and stepped away from the bed.  
  
Hilde shoved a plate in front of his face, blocking his view of Duo. He turned to her, ignoring the sandwich on that plate. "What's this?" He asked.  
  
"Your lunch. You have to eat, Heero. It's not good for your health to just sit up here and stare at Duo all day and night. He'll need you to be strong." She replied.  
  
Heero took hold of the plate and picked up the sandwich with his other hand, casting an appreciative look in her direction. He slowly ate the sandwich, not because he was hungry, but because he knew she was right. Duo would need him to be strong. He would need him.  
  
Hilde stepped over to Duo's bedside. She brushed the bangs away from his eyes, just staring down at him. "Duo's my friend, Heero." She said, keeping her eyes locked on Duo's face. "I care about him, even though I know he'll never love me, not the way he loves you." Quickly, she turned to Heero. "He was honest about that, never led me on or gave me false hope. And I appreciate that. I'm just content to be friends with him." Then Hilde's eyes narrowed, as if she wanted to pierce Heero's soul with her gaze. "I don't like seeing him hurt, Heero. Don't you dare ever let anything like this happen to him again. He's like a brother to me, and I'd give my life to see him happy."  
  
Before Heero could reply, Hilde turned and left the room. Heero hastily finished his sandwich, and returned to stand beside Duo's bed. He'd die before he let anything like this happen to Duo again.  
  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
  
Duo opened his eyes, the sunlight hitting him in the face. It was warm, but way too bright for his liking.   
  
He sat up slowly, his arm reaching around his waist as his ribs began to throb in pain. It had been a week since he had first woken up, a week since he had fallen asleep in Heero's arms.  
  
Thinking of Heero, he looked around the room. He frowned when he noticed that Heero was nowhere to be seen. There wasn't even a note or anything. Where could he have gone, Duo wondered as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.  
  
He stood, his legs shaky, but he was just tired of lying around all day. He needed some form of exercise. He walked to the door, picking up a robe as he walked. It would be kind of awkward if he walked into one of the girls when he was only wearing a pair of pajama bottoms. So as he walked, he put on the robe.  
  
Duo shuffled along, unable to lift his feet very far from the floor. It was hard enough just moving. His entire body ached, and walking just made it worse. Slowly, he went downstairs.  
  
As he reached the bottom of the steps, his breathing was ragged. He was already out of breath, although he had only traveled a short distance. He had to sit, and soon, before he fell over.  
  
Duo sat on the sofa, groaning as his ribs throbbed from the movement. Of course groaning only made his throat ache more. Even after a week, his throat seemed no better, and it was so hard to speak. He sat there, breathing in and out, trying to get himself to breathe normally once again.  
  
A hand touched his shoulder from behind, and Duo jumped slightly. His body stiffened in fear before he found the courage to turn and see who had touched him.  
  
Wufei was standing there, his hands held out in front of him. "I'm sorry, Duo. I did not mean to startle you. I forgot to announce my presence. I apologize." He said.  
  
Duo took in a few more breaths, trying to get his heart rate back to normal. Even after a week, he didn't like to be touched, especially by strangers. But it wasn't so bad when a friend came in contact with him. The only problem was, that he didn't like being surprised.  
  
"Heero?" Duo asked, keeping his speaking to a minimum.  
  
Wufei walked around and sat beside Duo on the sofa. "He and David went shopping. Sally asked Heero to pick up your medication for you, so he decided to get a few things of his own while he was out. They should be back shortly."  
  
Duo smiled slightly. A thought occurred to him. He had heard that Wufei had been in contact with one of Quatre's mansions. At first it had been Catherine that he had been getting information from, but Duo knew she had left with her circus troupe almost a week ago. Now it was Rasid that was relaying information about the blonde's health to Wufei.  
  
"How's Quatre?" Duo asked, once again struggling to speak.  
  
Wufei frowned. "Not well, I am sorry to say. He is still catatonic. Rasid informs me that he hasn't made a single movement to let them know he was aware."  
  
Duo's heart twisted. He grimaced, his mind racing in self-hatred. Tears came to his eyes as he stood. He took a few steps before Wufei grabbed his wrist and spun him around. "Duo . . ." He started, but Duo wouldn't let him finish.  
  
"Leave me alone." He whispered.   
  
Quickly, he returned to his room, just wanting to be alone. He didn't know how he was able to move so fast. Maybe it was adrenaline. But he didn't linger on the thought, it really didn't matter to him. He just wanted to be alone.  
  
As he crossed the room, he passed by a mirror and caught sight of his reflection. The bruises were fading, the wounds healing. But he could still see how disgusting he was. There was that hair, the hair that Carl loved so much. He couldn't stand to see that face, that body, that hair. He was sickened by his own reflection. But what could he do about it?  
  
  
********************  
  
  
Heero pulled the car to a stop outside the safe house. He and David got out of the car, and walked around to the trunk. He opened it, and caught sight of something he had bought for the boy. He reached into the grocery bag, pulling out a stuffed lion.  
  
Heero held it out. "For you . . . To protect you from your nightmares."  
  
"A lion?" David asked, looking at the stuffed lion with a dubious expression on his face.   
  
"What's wrong with a lion?" Heero asked, puzzled.  
  
"I'm not the most religious person, but wasn't there a David in the Bible that was thrown into a den of lions so they could eat him?" David asked, taking the lion from Heero.  
  
Heero wasn't sure if the boy was right or not, he didn't keep up with any type of religion. He had no use for it any time in his life, so why should he worship any God? He let out a chuckle, comparing David's situation to the David mentioned in the Bible. The safe house was almost a den, and the pilots just as dangerous as lions. "Don't worry, David . . ." Heero replied, smirking, as he ruffled the boy's hair. "This den of lions won't be eating you."  
  
David smiled up at him. He was definitely much better than when Wufei had first brought him here. His injuries were healing well, and he didn't seem as afraid of the pilots as he had been.  
  
Heero shrugged, brushing off the thoughts. He really wanted to get inside and back to Duo. He felt he should have told Duo he was leaving, or at least left a note or something, but Sally had needed him to go right away.   
  
Heero handed a bag to David, allowing him to help carry the groceries. Grabbing the other bag, he closed the trunk. He and David walked to the door, opened it and stepped inside.  
  
The first thing he saw, was that Wufei was staring up at the stairs with a concerned expression on his face. "What's wrong?" Heero asked, not liking the way Wufei looked.  
  
"It's Duo. I am afraid that I may have made a mistake." He replied.  
  
Worry filled Heero, wondering what Wufei had done. "What did you do?"  
  
Wufei turned to him. "He asked how Quatre was, and I told him the truth." Wufei answered. "I tried to talk to him, but he told me to leave him alone, then he went upstairs."  
  
"I'll go check on him." Heero replied, immediately walking to the stairs. He heard David following him, but didn't try to stop him.  
  
As soon as he opened the door, he saw Duo. The American was standing in front of a full-length mirror, holding his hair awkwardly in his cast-covered hand, while with the other he held a pair of scissors. Duo spun around, obviously hearing the door open. He looked at Heero with an expression resembling that of a deer caught in the headlights of a car about to hit it.  
  
"What are you doing?" Heero asked, concerned. He noticed that Duo hadn't cut his hair yet, just looking at it while he held those scissors.  
  
Tears fell from Duo's eyes, as he turned back to the mirror. "Carl liked my hair." He whispered.  
  
"Carl liked boys better than girls . . . Are you going to have a sex change operation too?" David asked, from beside Heero.  
  
Heero saw Duo let out a small chuckle. "No." He replied, quietly, lowering the scissors.  
  
Heero dropped the grocery bag, and quickly crossed the room. He wrapped his arms around Duo from behind, holding him gently. He smiled a little, when he saw that Duo was watching his reflection in the mirror. "If you really want to cut your hair, then it's fine by me."  
  
"Carl . . ." Duo began to say.  
  
Heero didn't want to listen. He turned Duo to face him, wrapping his arms around him once again. "Duo, if you're going to cut it off, do it because you want to, not because he liked it long. If you do that, then he'll win. I don't want him to win, Duo . . . And I don't think you want him to win either. Don't give him the satisfaction of victory while he burns in Hell, Duo. Spit in his face at every opportunity and get on with your life. You are not to blame for what happened. If you want to blame anyone, blame the people who keep sickos like him in business. If there were no clients, there would be no need for people like him."  
  
"But, Quatre . . ." Duo whispered.  
  
Heero sighed. "Quatre was a victim, just as much as you were. Look at me." He said, pulling away from Duo to look into his eyes. "You were kidnapped, beaten, raped, abused in every sense of the word, and strangled. You almost died, and you're blaming yourself?" He sighed again and once more pulled Duo into an embrace. "You did everything you could to protect Quatre, and you still feel like it wasn't enough, don't you?"  
  
"If I . . ."  
  
"No," Heero interrupted. "He would still have kept Quatre. He was a bastard who would have had no qualms about breaking his word. Even if you had let him take you into his employ, he would have kept Quatre and gotten away with it. You did everything you could do. You know that even if the bastard did let Quatre go, then Quatre would end up hating himself because he would feel as you do . . . that he should have done something more. It would never have been enough, Duo . . . Never!" He pulled away slightly, looking into Duo's eyes again. "I want you to look me in the eye and say that it wasn't your fault."  
  
There was nothing from Duo, no reply, for a good five minutes. But Heero didn't move away, didn't avert his eyes. Finally, Duo answered. "It . . . it wasn't my fault."  
  
Heero nodded. "One day, hopefully soon, you'll believe that." He said.  
  
"Heero?" David asked.  
  
Heero turned to him, "Yes?"  
  
A shy smile formed on David's face. "It wasn't my fault either." He said quietly.  
  
"No, it wasn't." Heero said, returning the smile. Then he turned back to Duo. "We'll help you, Duo . . . you know we will."  
  
Heero's heart lightened when he saw Duo smile slightly. "Thanks." He whispered.  
  
"Now, if you want, I can braid your hair for you. Carl did prefer it loose." Heero offered.  
  
"Yes, please." Duo replied.  
  
Heero knew that Duo couldn't take a shower, his body just wasn't up to that yet. And bending over a sink was out of the question since he had too many wounds to his stomach. Heero left Duo's side for only a moment, getting the bag he had dropped earlier. He rummaged around for a moment, then pulled out a box.   
  
"Sit down." He said, turning to see Duo.  
  
Duo was silent as he did as Heero had instructed. Heero saw that Duo was watching him with a curious expression, then Heero turned back to the box he had grabbed from the bag, and pulled out what looked like strange shower caps.  
  
Heero turned to David. "Go heat these up . . . I think we'll need all of them, and bring them back as quickly as possible."  
  
David left quickly, running out of the room with the caps in his hands. Heero turned and picked up a hairbrush from the dresser. He glanced at the handle of the brush, noticing that it had an elastic band wrapped around it. Good, he thought, he would need that later.   
  
Carefully, he pulled Duo's hair over his shoulder, laying it against his back. A week of sleeping with it loose and not washing it, had left it a tangled, and slightly oily, mess. While waiting for David, Heero carefully began the task of brushing Duo's hair.   
  
While he brushed, he spoke. "Don't worry so much about Quatre. From what I've heard, he eats when Trowa feeds him and he walks when Trowa leads him. Although it's not what we want, it's a sign that he's not as far gone as we originally feared." He was working on the middle of Duo's hair by this time. "Of the two of you, you were in worse shape." He paused to kiss Duo's shoulder. "Quatre will be all right. I'm just glad that I didn't lose you."  
  
"Here you go, Heero!" David said as he walked in with the strange shower caps.  
  
Heero nodded and took one. He affixed it onto Duo's head and started massaging Duo's scalp. "These are caps for people who can't take showers. Not the same as that botanical stuff we both prefer, but it will do the trick."  
  
Duo's only answer was a soft sigh.  
  
Heero smiled fondly as some of the tension left Duo's shoulders. "Next!" Heero worked his way slowly through Duo's hair, using a new cap every so often. After about twenty minutes, he was finished and looking at a slightly tangled mess. He picked up the hairbrush and proceeded to, once again, brush through Duo's hair to untangle it.  
  
Once done brushing the hair, he separated it into three equal sections. Then he began braiding it, remembering the first time he had braided Duo's hair. It hadn't happened too long ago, in fact it had been right before Duo was kidnapped. Heero brushed off those memories, not wanting to remember what came next.  
  
As he finished with the long mass of chestnut hair, he frowned. Something was wrong. Duo was shaking, his body trembling. Heero walked around the chair, going to stand in front of Duo. When he saw Duo's face, how pinched and pale it was, Heero was sure that something was definitely wrong.  
  
Suddenly, Duo slumped forward, his eyes rolling back in his head. Heero caught him, then quickly picked him up. He carried Duo over to the bed, laying him down.  
  
"David, go get Sally." He said, without taking his eyes from Duo's pain-stricken face.  
  
Only minutes later, David returned with both Sally and Wufei. "What happened?" Sally asked, hobbling over to Duo's bedside.  
  
"He just collapsed." Heero answered, moving out of her way.  
  
"Well, he did run up the stairs after I had mentioned Quatre's condition. I guess the adrenaline he had been running on, finally wore off." Wufei said.  
  
Heero watched as Sally checked Duo over, hoping he would be okay. Sally looked to Heero, offering a small smile. "He'll be fine, Heero. Just let him get some rest and give him some of his pain medication when he wakes up. You did fill that prescription, right?"  
  
"Of course I did." Heero answered. He turned to David, remembering what else they had bought that afternoon. "David, could you take the ice-cream downstairs and put it in the freezer before it melts, except Duo's. Put his in the fridge."  
  
"Why in the fridge?" David asked, as he picked up the bag.  
  
Wufei answered the question for Heero. "It should be soft for Duo to eat. His throat still pains him very much."  
  
"Okay." David replied, taking the bag from the room. Wufei and Sally followed him.   
  
For the next few hours, Heero sat by Duo's side. Whispering soothing words into Duo's ear each time he whimpered in his sleep. He was obviously having a nightmare, but Heero was reluctant to awaken him.  
  
  
********************  
  
  
Duo snapped his eyes open, awakening from that horrible nightmare. He didn't want to remember any of that, what Carl had done to him, what had happened to Quatre. He didn't want those memories.  
  
He breathed in ragged pants, then realized that someone was holding his shoulders down. He turned his head, his eyes locking on Heero after a moment. He sighed when he saw it was him.  
  
"Are you okay?" Heero asked.  
  
Duo nodded, not wanting to strain his already sore throat.  
  
"Is it time for ice-cream yet?" David asked.   
  
Duo glanced around and saw David sitting on Heero's bed, swinging his feet over the edge, impatiently.  
  
"Yeah, why don't you go get it?" Heero replied.   
  
"Okay." David answered, jumping to his feet. He approached Duo's bed, holding up what looked like a stuffed lion. "See what Heero bought me?" he asked, proudly.  
  
Duo looked at the lion and smirked, then turned and raised an eyebrow at Heero.  
  
"Yes, I bought him a lion. So what? It was either that or a pink bunny." Heero said.  
  
David looked up at him, hugging the lion to his chest. "Heero . . . you made the right decision." He paused a moment, "It's like in the Bible, when David was thrown to the lion den."   
  
Duo laughed, which caused his throat to burn. He looked over and saw Heero smiling, something that made him smile in return, despite the burning in his throat.  
  
"I'll go get the ice-cream." David said, turning and walking to the door.  
  
Heero helped Duo to sit up, propping him up against the pillows. He held a glass out to Duo. Duo didn't remember seeing him move, or even pick anything up. He held a couple pills out, in the palm of his hand. Duo took them and tossed them in his mouth, not asking what they were.  
  
But Heero told him anyway. "They're painkillers. Sorry, I didn't think to dissolve them in water like Hilde had."  
  
Duo offered a slight smile to Heero before he took a drink of water, washing down the pills. It hurt, but he still swallowed them.  
  
A moment later, David came running back into the room, carrying three pints of ice-cream and three spoons in his hands, however his stuffed lion was gone. He gave two of the pints and spoons to Heero.  
  
"Here." Heero said, pulling off the lid of one of the pints and handing it and a spoon over to Duo.   
  
Duo looked at the name of the flavor and wrapped his arm around Heero in thanks. Death by Chocolate was his favorite flavor. But how did Heero know? Then after thinking a minute, he decided that question was useless. Of course Heero knew. They were roommates.  
  
He dipped the spoon into the ice-cream, noticing immediately that it was soft and mushy. But he didn't mind, on the contrary, he actually liked his ice-cream slightly mushy. He smiled as he put the spoon in his mouth, savoring the taste for a moment before swallowing the soothingly, cold ice-cream.  
  
Duo took a look around the room as he ate his ice-cream. Since the lights were turned on, he knew it was after sundown. He must have been sleeping quite a while. Then he saw a bag sitting on the floor near the door. He quirked his eyebrow.  
  
Obviously, Heero noticed his expression. "What?" He asked, after swallowing a spoonful of his own ice-cream, plain vanilla by the look of it.  
  
Duo pointed to the bag with his spoon.  
  
"That's the stuff Heero bought today." David said, then promptly shoved another spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth.  
  
Heero placed his ice-cream on a table beside Duo's bed. He walked over and picked up the bag, quickly returning to Duo's side with the bag under one arm. He reached in and pulled out a coloring book and a box of crayons.  
  
Duo raised his eyebrows, wondering why Heero had bought them. "For you." Heero said. "To keep you busy. I know how much you hate sitting around in bed with nothing to do."  
  
Duo merely glared at him, as he took the items from him.   
  
Heero reached into the bag again, this time pulling out a legal pad and a pen. "So you can communicate without having to strain your voice. Now that you have this, I don't want you talking."  
  
This time Duo smiled, touched that Heero had been so considerate. He immediately opened the pad and scrawled out in his own unique handwriting, "Thank you."  
  
Now that he could communicate, he could let Duo and Heero in on something they had gotten wrong. He knew more about the Bible than any of the pilot's probably, so he wasn't surprised that Heero hadn't corrected David. "It wasn't David that was thrown to the lions. It was Daniel." Duo wrote, then held it out for both Heero and David to read.  
  
"Oh! Well, then I guess I have nothing to worry about." David smiled, while Heero only shrugged.  
  
For the next few minutes, they ate their ice-cream in silence. Duo stealing several quick glances to Heero so that he could smile appreciatively at him. However, he soon became tired, his eyes slowly beginning to close. Those pills sure did make him drowsy. They had worked faster when they had been dissolved, but that didn't change the fact that they made him want to go to sleep.  
  
He didn't even realize that Heero had taken the spoon and ice-cream from him, until he saw them in Heero's hands. For a moment he had thought the ice-cream was Heero's, but then he remembered that Heero had vanilla, not chocolate ice-cream.  
  
"Go to sleep." Heero coaxed, helping Duo to lie back on the bed.   
  
Duo barely heard him, and couldn't be sure if he had replied. He just closed his eyes, letting himself slip into unconsciousness, and hoping that the nightmares wouldn't come back again.  
  
  
Chapter Ten  
  
  
Duo was bored, completely and totally bored. He had done everything he could think of, including coloring in all of those pictures in that coloring book. He had even gone so far as to play with that stuffed bear, making it do the cancan. Doing that, however, had certainly made Heero laugh.  
  
He looked over at Heero, seeing the other pilot sitting in a chair, his back to Duo. He was working on his laptop. There was that incessant clicking again, Duo thought. Duo wanted to do something, anything, to get Heero's attention, but he couldn't talk.  
  
He got an idea, and opened his legal pad. He quickly wrote a message, then began folding the paper, turning it into a paper airplane. He was just about to throw it in Heero's direction when Sally walked in. Quickly, he hid it, hoping Sally hadn't noticed.  
  
"How is everybody this morning?" She asked, cheerfully.  
  
Duo didn't like her happy tone, not when he felt so bored, so he tossed the airplane at her, instead of at Heero. It hit its mark, bonking her in the head.  
  
"I'm fine." Heero said. "But Duo's bored."  
  
"I can see that." Sally replied, unfolding the paper.   
  
Then she held it out so that Heero could also read the message Duo had written on it in big bold letters. "I'M BORED!"  
  
"Well, you won't be bored much longer, Duo. David and Hilde have a present for you." She glanced over her shoulder. "Bring it in."  
  
Duo's eyes widened, as Hilde and David rolled a TV into the room, on one of those wheeled trays. He smiled brightly, happy to finally get something to do. David handed him the controller to a video game system that was hooked up to the TV.  
  
Duo took out his pad again and wrote a large thank you across it. Hilde smiled, as she switched on the TV and game system. "I knew you'd hate being stuck in bed, so I thought I'd go out and get you something. David picked out the game."  
  
Duo pressed the start button, watching as the opening cinema began. Looked like a role-playing game of some kind. He wasn't even paying attention as David, Hilde, and Sally left the room.  
  
After an unknown amount of hours, Duo dropped the controller on the bed. His thumbs ached, from all that button pressing, but they didn't bother him that much. He was just getting tired. He yawned, and turned to look at Heero again.  
  
There he was, still sitting in that chair, typing away at his laptop. Duo just had to know what was so important, why Heero was still on that thing after all this time. He carefully crept out of bed, trying not to make a sound as an ache crossed his body.  
  
Slowly, he approached Heero, and peeked over his shoulder to see the screen. He read the words carefully, making sure he was reading them correctly.   
  
J: I have a new mission for you.  
Heero: I cannot accept it.  
J: What? Why? Are you in the middle of another mission that I am unaware of?  
Heero: No. I am taking care of someone who is infinitely more important than any mission. Yuy out.  
  
Duo threw his arms around Heero's back, not caring if Heero got angry at him for spying over his shoulder.  
  
"Duo?" Heero asked, grabbing his arm and gently pulling him around so that they were face to face. He placed his laptop on the floor.  
  
Duo was aware of the tears on his cheeks, but didn't try to hide them, or force them back. "Love you." Duo gasped.  
  
"I told you not to talk." Heero said, smiling. "You saw the message?"   
  
Duo nodded, as he buried his face in Heero's neck, snuggling closer to him as he cried tears of happiness.  
  
"I love you too, Duo." He replied, wrapping his arms around Duo's body, holding him close.  
  
  
Chapter Eleven  
  
  
Trowa helped Quatre to stand, just like he did every morning. He had learned that Quatre would walk, if you led him. But still, Quatre hadn't snapped out of this catatonic state. It had been weeks. Quatre's body was back to health, but his consciousness was retreated so far back into his mind that sometimes Trowa feared he might never come back.  
  
He led Quatre out onto the balcony and sat him in a chair. Trowa remembered how much Quatre liked to stand in the sunshine, to let the warm rays wash over him. How Trowa had loved to watch the sun's light shimmer in Quatre's blonde locks. But now Trowa wasn't happy, he hadn't been since before Quatre had been taken from him.  
  
Rasid walked over to him. "Here are the items you requested." Said the large older man, as he handed a violin and a flute to Trowa.  
  
Trowa thanked him quietly, not wanting to take his attention away from his blonde angel. He didn't even notice that Rasid had left, wouldn't have cared even if he had.  
  
He knelt in front of Quatre, placing the violin and bow on his angel's lap. He lifted one of his love's hands, gently laying it on the instrument.  
  
"Here, Quatre. It's your violin. I thought you might like to join in." Trowa whispered, hoping that this might somehow work. If it didn't, then Trowa didn't know what would. The circus hadn't worked, being surrounded by all that happiness hadn't brought him back. Trowa had tried everything he could think of, and there was nothing left.  
  
Sighing as he noticed that Quatre hadn't even blinked at the feel of the violin under his hand, Trowa stood and lifted the flute to his lips. He began the notes that made up the tune that he and Quatre had played that first day they spent together. That had been the day he had first fallen for the young Arabian, even though at the time he had fought against those emotions.  
  
As Trowa played, he watched Quatre, never taking his eyes from the face of the man he loved. As he neared the end of the tune, his hopes slipped, as Quatre hadn't made a single move. Trowa took the flute away from his lips, letting his hands fall to his sides in defeat.  
  
There was nothing left. His angel was gone. He felt a hot tear fall from his eye, wishing he had gotten to Quatre earlier. If only they had learned of Carl's whereabouts sooner, maybe they could've gotten there before Quatre slipped away, before Trowa lost him.  
  
Trowa opened his eyes, looking once more to Quatre. Trowa gasped, seeing a single tear on Quatre's cheek. Was it his imagination? Dare he hope that Quatre had heard?  
  
He knelt down again, brushing the warm tear away from Quatre's cheek. He took the violin and bow from Quatre's lap, and laid them down on the ground along with his flute.  
  
"Quatre?" He asked, hoping that his angel could hear him.  
  
For a moment, there was nothing. Then to Trowa's delight, Quatre blinked and looked at him for only a second or two. Still, he said nothing, but that was more than enough for Trowa. Quatre was still in there, somewhere deep inside. But at least he was struggling to find his way back out.  
  
Trowa placed his hands on either side of Quatre's face. "Quatre? Can you hear me? Please, do something. Show me you can hear me. Please." He begged, trying desperately to keep his voice calm.  
  
Once again, Quatre blinked, but this time he stared deeply into Trowa's eyes. "Trowa?" He whispered, his voice raspy from not being used for so long.  
  
Trowa threw his arms around Quatre, so happy that his angel was back. He didn't even attempt to stop his tears, crying onto the blonde's shoulder. Quatre returned the embrace gently, his body shaking. Trowa pulled away, realizing that he could force Quatre to retreat into his mind if he pushed too hard, if he moved too fast.  
  
Before he could pull completely away, Quatre tightened his own embrace, as he exhaled a shuddered breath. "Please don't leave me." He whimpered, his body shaking even more.  
  
"It's okay, Quatre. You're safe here." Trowa replied, trying to soothe the blonde he held so carefully in his arms.  
  
Quatre suddenly pulled away from him, driving a stake of worry through Trowa's heart. "Duo?!" He exclaimed, his beautiful blue eyes filled with worry.  
  
"He's okay, Quatre. Heero got him back to the safe house. He's hurt, but he's getting better." Trowa replied. He saw that the worry still hadn't left Quare's eyes and thought that maybe it would be better if the blonde saw for himself. "Do you want to talk to him?"  
  
Quatre nodded quickly, still clutching tightly to Trowa's arms.  
  
Trowa stood, helping Quatre along with him. Even though Quatre no longer needed his help to walk, Trowa felt better keeping his arm securely around Quatre's waist. He stood in front of the video phone that was hanging from the wall, and dialed the number for the safe house.  
  
Wufei's face appeared after only one ring. "Trowa? What happened? Is something wrong?" He asked, a concerned tone in his voice.  
  
Trowa smiled. "No, nothing's wrong. I called because someone over here wants to talk to Duo." He pulled Quatre into Wufei's view.  
  
Wufei smiled openly. "Quatre, it is good to see you well."  
  
"Thanks . . ." Quatre replied. "But I'm worried about Duo. How is he?"  
  
"Hang on a moment . . . His voice is not completely back yet, but seeing you will do him a world of good. He just recently attempted to cut his hair off because of guilt over your condition. At least that is what I was able to find out."  
  
While Wufei was away from the screen, Quatre turned to Trowa. "What happened to Duo's voice?" He asked.  
  
Trowa didn't know if he should tell Quatre, but then he knew that Quatre would see that bruise around Duo's throat when he appeared. "He was strangled. Rasid informed me that he was hurt very badly, and was in a coma for three days."  
  
Quatre's face paled and he frowned.   
  
"Quatre!" Duo voice called out over the video phone. Immediately afterward, he began coughing, covering his throat with his hand. Trowa saw that Heero was holding him up, keeping his arms wrapped around the American.  
  
"Duo, I am so happy to see you." Quatre said, a smile appearing on his face as he looked at the American. "Are you well?"  
  
Duo nodded.  
  
"I don't want you to blame yourself, Duo." Quatre said. "I don't blame you. It wasn't your fault."  
  
Duo smiled slightly, taking his hand away from his throat.  
  
Trowa looked at his blonde angel. He looked so tired. "That's enough for tonight." Trowa said.   
  
"Yes." Heero agreed from the other end of the line. "Duo needs his rest. He was asleep when you phoned."  
  
"I'm sorry." Quatre said.  
  
"That's okay. It's good to see him happy again." Heero replied, then switched off the phone.  
  
Trowa didn't waste a second. He swept Quatre into his arms, carrying him over to the bed. He gently laid him down, then leaned over to pull the blankets up to Quatre's chest. He went to stand, deciding he had better tell Rasid that Quatre was awake. Quatre's hand grabbed his wrist, stopping him from going any farther.  
  
Trowa turned back, hearing a faint whisper. "Please, don't leave."  
  
Trowa smiled. "I'm not leaving you, Quatre. I just want to go tell Rasid that you're well. I'll be right back, I promise."  
  
"No." Quatre replied, tightening his hold on Trowa's wrist. "Take me with you. I don't want to be alone. Please." He begged, his voice filled with desperation.  
  
Trowa picked Quatre up out of bed, not wanting to hear him begging. There was no need for that. Trowa would do anything he asked, if only to make him happy.  
  
He carried Quatre out of the room, cradling him against his body. They didn't have to go far however, as Rasid was walking down the hallway. "Rasid!" Quatre called out.  
  
Rasid stopped in his tracks and turned to face the two pilots. As Trowa stopped in front of him, Rasid spoke. "Master Quatre, you are awake. Allah be praised." He said, laying one of his large hands against Quatre's cheek.  
  
Trowa glanced down at the blonde in his arms, and noticed that his eyes were slowly closing. He then looked up at Rasid, seeing in the other man's smirk what he already knew. It was highly ironic that Quatre was falling asleep just after he had awakened from his catatonic state.   
  
Rasid took his hand away from Quatre's face, as Trowa turned. "We will talk in the morning, Master Quatre." Rasid said while Trowa was walking away.  
  
"Yes, I'd like that." Quatre murmured into Trowa's chest.  
  
Once again, Trowa laid Quatre on the bed, covering him with the blankets. This time however, he kicked off his own shoes, sliding himself into the bed beside his beloved. He wrapped his arms around him, holding him close to his body, happy that his love was amongst the living once again.  
  
  
Epilogue  
  
  
David looked around at the party. It was so boring. There was no one there his own age. And he was so totally uncomfortable. The clothes he was wearing felt itchy to him, he didn't know why he had to wear a stupid suit.   
  
He looked up at Duo, who stood beside him. He smiled, seeing that Duo looked just as uncomfortable as he felt. At least all those wounds had healed, David thought. Duo did look a lot better now that he wasn't covered in bruises. And that cast was gone too.  
  
"Would you two stop fidgeting?" Heero asked, stepping over to the two of them. "Relena's party isn't that bad."  
  
"Yes it is. It's boring." David commented.  
  
"But it's her birthday, and we have to be here." Duo sighed, obviously resigned to the fact that he was stuck there.  
  
David looked around again, seeing the same stuffed shirts, all those boring dignitaries. He saw the table that was covered with food, all of which was bland and on fancy plates. And the music was so boring it made him want to fall asleep.  
  
Duo looked down at him, and he glanced up, watching as Duo faked a yawn to show that he was just as bored as David was. David giggled, covering his mouth to stifle his laughs.  
  
Heero glared at the two of them, not saying a word. Wufei did the same from where he stood, just to Heero's left.  
  
"Hey, there's Trowa and Quatre!" Duo almost shouted, as he pointed to the door. He nearly ran over, weaving his way through the crowd.   
  
When Duo reached Trowa and that blonde guy, he pulled the blonde into a hug. So that was Quatre? David hadn't realized that he looked so much like the guy. And he was a pilot, just like the others? David didn't know if he could believe that.  
  
Heero grasped his shoulder, and David looked up. "Come on. I think the two of you should meet." Heero said.  
  
David swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous. He didn't like meeting new people. But he trusted the guys when they said Quatre was a friend, after all he had been kidnapped by Carl too. He just didn't know why they had waited so long to let the two of them meet, they could have done it months ago. But every time David asked why Quatre and Trowa didn't just come over, they said that they wanted to wait for the right time. And that Relena's birthday party seemed to be the right time.  
  
"David?" Trowa gasped, when David was no more than a few feet away from him. "You look so different without all of those bruises on your face." He smiled slightly.  
  
David smiled back. Then turned his attention to Quatre, as he was introduced to him.  
  
"David, this is Quatre." Heero said. "Quatre, this is David."  
  
Quatre smiled, a smile that quieted all fears David had left about this stranger. "It's good to finally meet you, David." Quatre said. "Trowa has told me much about you."  
  
"Nice to meet you too." David replied quietly, a smile on his own face.  
  
An announcement drew everyone's attention. "Ladies, gentlemen, time for the birthday girl to blow out her candles."  
  
"Come on." Duo said, grabbing David's hand and pulling him through the crowd. "We've got to get a better view."  
  
Duo and David, followed closely by Heero and the other three pilots all made their way to the front of the group. "Guys, you can come closer." Relena smiled, gesturing for the guys to approach the table where Relena sat.  
  
In front of her, was a large cake. Actually, Relena had two cakes, one smaller cake with candles for her to blow out, and another larger one, that would be served to all the guests. The smaller one was the top tier of the larger one, and was supposed to be placed on top of the larger cake after Relena blew out the candles.  
  
Both cakes, were white with pink accents, and little pink roses. Duo leaned over and remarked that the cake was probably so sweet that they were all probably getting cavities just by looking at it. David smiled at that, then noticed that Relena was taking an awfully long time to blow out those candles.  
  
David didn't know if he could wait much longer. He really wanted a piece of that cake. Then he got an idea. Why not blow out the candles for her? It would probably be all the fun he would get that night.  
  
But before he got a chance to do it, Duo beat him to it. With one huge breath, all those candles were out. David looked up at him in surprise. He hadn't expected Duo to do something like that. He was so used to Duo just meekly agreeing with people and not doing anything that might get someone mad.  
  
Heero leaned down, whispering into David's ear. "You just caught a glimpse of the real Duo that everyone was hoping to see again."  
  
David glanced around, seeing a lot of angry reporters glaring at Duo. They all had obviously wanted to get a picture of Relena blowing out those candles. "It's not my fault." Duo called out, and David turned back to see the American shrug his shoulders.   
  
David looked up at Heero, seeing that he was smirking. Heero stepped over to Duo, grasping his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. David understood the double meaning of that one sentence. Every time Duo had one of those bouts of self-blame over the past few months, Heero would get him to say that. Maybe Duo really believed that all that had happened to him wasn't his fault now.  
  
He was happy that Duo was better, possibly on his way to a full recovery. Maybe he'd be back to his old self someday. David sure couldn't wait to see what Duo was really like. He seemed to be a fun guy.  
  
David smiled, glad that everyone was doing so much better. Duo and Quatre were healthy, Heero and Trowa were happy. Maybe David could get used to being happy again. After all the pain he had gone through in his life, it would be a welcome change.  
  
  
  
The End  
  
  
  
Finally, "Painful Memories" is complete. I know I didn't explain who that mystery man that helped Duo was, or who that Chinese girl was. But isn't that what a sequel is for?   
  
And yes, I am perfectly aware that in the Bible, that David wasn't the one thrown to the lions. That it was, in fact, Daniel. But neither David nor Heero would have known that. David wasn't religious and Heero just has no use for religion in his life.  



End file.
